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whew !!!

IN THIS ISSUE

• Barbara Wear forwards a story of an enduring friendship
• Readers comment on articles in last week´s issue
• Thelma or Howard Hughes post a piece on the significance of birth order
• Jack Peaker forwards a story about the generosity of seniors
• Miriam Ockenden sends a poem about an important interval
• Are women really this hard to please?
• We should be happy cars are not built like computers
• Bruce Galway shares the results of an illuminating scientific study
• Ernest Blashke´s story proves which is the smarter sex
• There is a wide variety of sites to check out this week

Wear Barbara forwards a story written by Catherine Moore, which she says reminds her of the time when she was lonely and depressed and her son, Shawn, brought her a dog she named Queela (pronounced Keela). " I didn´t want her either, like the man in the story, but we became companions, and she has been by my side for 15 years. She is not well and is in the final stages of chronic kidney disease. I know it will soon be time to let her go, but I will always be ever so grateful to my son for giving her to me, and to my friend, Queela, who has been there for me for so long."

INSEPARABLE

"Watch out! You nearly broadsided that car!" my father yelled at me. "Can´t you do anything right?"

Those words hurt worse than blows. I turned my head toward the elderly man in the seat beside me, daring me to challenge him. A lump rose in my throat as I averted my eyes. I wasn´t prepared for another battle. "I saw the car, Dad. Please don´t yell at me when I´m driving." My voice was measured and steady, sounding far calmer than I really felt. Dad glared at me, then turned away and settled back.

At home I left Dad in front of the television and went outside to collect my thoughts. Dark, heavy clouds hung in the air with a promise of rain. The rumble of distant thunder seemed to echo my inner turmoil. What could I do about him? Dad had been a lumberjack in Washington and Oregon. He had enjoyed being outdoors and had reveled in pitting his strength against the forces of nature. He had entered grueling lumberjack competitions, and had placed often. The shelves in his house were filled with trophies that attested to his prowess. The years marched on relentlessly. The first time he couldn´t lift a heavy log, he joked about it; but later that same day I saw him outside alone, straining to lift it. He became irritable whenever anyone teased him about his advancing age, or when he couldn´t do something he had done as a younger man.

Four days after his sixty-seventh birthday, he had a heart attack. An ambulance sped him to the hospital, while a paramedic administered CPR to keep blood and oxygen flowing. At the hospital, Dad was rushed into an operating room. He was lucky - he survived.

But something inside Dad died. His zest for life was gone. He obstinately refused to follow doctor´s orders. Suggestions and offers of help were turned aside with sarcasm and insults. The number of visitors thinned, then finally stopped altogether. Dad was left alone.

My husband, Dick, and I asked Dad to come live with us on our small farm. We hoped the fresh air and rustic atmosphere would help him adjust. Within a week after he moved in, I regretted the invitation. It seemed nothing was satisfactory. He criticized everything I did. I became frustrated and moody. Soon I was taking my pent-up anger out on Dick. We began to bicker and argue. Alarmed, Dick sought out our pastor and explained the situation. The clergyman set up weekly counseling appointments for us. At the close of each session he prayed, asking God to soothe Dad´s troubled mind. But the months wore on and God was silent.

A raindrop struck my cheek. I looked up into the gray sky. Somewhere up there was "God." Although I believed a Supreme Being had created the universe, I had difficulty believing that God cared about the tiny human being on this earth. I was tired of waiting for a God who didn´t answer. Something had to be done and it was up to me to do it. The next day I sat down with the phone book and methodically called each of the mental health clinics listed in the Yellow Pages. I explained my problem to each of the sympathetic voices that answered - in vain. Just when I was giving up hope, one of the voices suddenly exclaimed, "I just read something that might help you! Let me go get the article."

To be concluded.

CORRESPONDENCE

Carol Shoemaker writes:

For all the prize winning photos from National Wildlife contest, visit this site. They are all pretty amazing and give us amateurs something to strive for: http://www.nwf.org/nationalwildlife/article.cfm?issueID=79&articleID=1158

I have to agree about many of the current the Hollywood stars; not much there but Barbie doll good looks. You didn´t mention one of the classiest of the glamorous actresses, Katherine Hepburn.

Jean Sterling writes

THOSE HOLLYWOOD STARS

Where have all those handsome he-men actors and those beautiful, glamorous actresses gone? ...

Another question: Where have all the good movies gone? Movies today feature blatant gruesome violence and/or scenes of things that are usually done in private. And Iım not necessarily talking about sex here - I went to a movie where they showed a man using the toilet. Now, I really donıt need to see those things - they could have him go in, close the door, and then let us hear a flush sound. But no, that wouldnıt have the shock value that seems to be so important.

And yes, I do agree that the male actors look quite, um, girlish, and that the females look as if they could use a good square meal several of them, in fact.

Then they wonder why movie attendance is down and TV ratings are down (except for those inane reality shows).

LETTER FROM AUSTRALIA regarding the poem "Do Not Stand at My Grave and Weep":

This poem has been set to music, and I have sung it with my church choir. The words were said to be based on a Native American prayer, with no credit given for authorship of the words.

ENLARGING TYPE

This little tip might save a lot of squinting at the screen....

That is a great piece of advice I plan to incorporate it in the SeniorNet internet class.

~~~~

Kate Brookfield writes about Bruce Galway´s tip for enlarging text:

I tried this, but it didn´t work, until I went to Control Panel and set the wheel to maximise. I have always had it set to scroll.

Thelma or Howard Hughes posted these observations:

THE BIRTH ORDER OF CHILDREN

Your Clothes:

1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy.
2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.
3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.

Preparing for the Birth:

1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.
2nd baby: You don´t bother because you remember that last time, breathing didn´t do a thing.
3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your eighth month.

The Layette:

1st baby: You pre-wash newborn´s clothes, color-coordinate them, and fold them neatly in the baby´s little bureau.
2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean, discard only the ones with the darkest stains.
3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can´t they?

Worries:

1st baby: At the first sign of distress - a whimper, a frown - you pick up the baby.
2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your firstborn.
3rd baby: You teach your three-year-old how to rewind the mechanical swing.

Pacifier

1st baby: If the pacifier falls on the floor, you put it away until you can go home and wash and boil it.
2nd baby: When the pacifier falls on the floor, you squirt it off with some juice from the baby´s bottle.
3rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in.

Diapering:

1st baby: You change your baby´s diapers every hour, whether they need it or not.
2nd baby: You change their diaper every two to three hours, if needed.
3rd baby: You try to change their diaper before others start to complain about the smell or you see it sagging to their knees.

Activities:

1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing, and Baby Story Hour.
2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.
3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaner.

Going Out:

1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call home five times.
2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a number where you can be reached.
3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood.

At Home:

1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.
2nd baby: You spend a bit of everyday watching to be sure your older child isn´t squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby.
3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children.

Swallowing Coins (a favorite):

1st child: When first child swallows a coin, you rush the child to the hospital and demand x-rays.
2nd child: When second child swallows a coin, you carefully watch for the coin to pass.
3rd child: When third child swallows a coin, you deduct it from his allowance!

Jack Peaker tells about the

GENEROSITY OF SENIORS

A tour bus driver is driving with a bus load of seniors down a highway when he is tapped on his shoulder by a little old lady. She offers him a handful of peanuts, which he gratefully munches up.

After about 15 minutes, she taps him on his shoulder again and she hands him another handful of peanuts. She repeats this gesture about five more times.

When she is about to hand him another batch again he asks the little old lady, " Why don´t you eat the peanuts yourself?"

"We can´t chew them because we´ve no teeth," she replies.

The puzzled driver asks, "Why do you buy them then?"

The old lady replies, "We just love the chocolate around them."

It pays to be careful around old people.

Miriam Ockenden forwards this poem:

THE DASH BETWEEN THE YEARS

I read of a man who stood to speak
At the funeral of a friend.
He referred to the dates on her tombstone,
From the beginning ... to the end.

He noted that first came her date of birth,
And spoke the following date with tears,
But he said what mattered most of all
Was the dash between those years.

(1934 - 1998)

For that dash represents all the time
That she spent alive on earth,
And now only those who loved her
Know what that little line is worth.

For it matters not how much we own,
The cars ... the house ... the cash;
What matters is how we live and love,
And how we spend our dash.

So think about this long and hard.
Are there things you´d like to change?
For you never know how much time is left
That can still be rearranged.

If we could just slow down enough
To consider what´s true and real,
And always try to understand
The way other people feel.

And be less quick to anger,
And show appreciation more,
And love the people in our lives
Like we´ve never loved before.

If we treat each other with respect,
And more often wear a smile,
Remembering that this special dash
Might only last a little while.

So when your eulogy´s being read,
With your life´s actions to rehash ...
Would you be proud of the things they say
About how you spent your dash?

HUSBAND SHOPPING

A "Husband Shopping Center" was opened where a woman could go to choose from among many men to be her husband. It was laid out in five floors, with the men increasing in positive attributes as you ascended up the floors. The only rule was, once you opened the door to any floor, you must choose a man from that floor, and if you went up a floor, you couldn´t go back down except to leave the place.

So a couple of girlfriends go to the place to find men.

First floor, the door had a sign saying: "These men have jobs and love kids." The women read the sign and say: "Well, that´s better than not having jobs, or not loving kids, but I wonder what´s further up?"

So up they go.

Second floor says: "These men have high paying jobs, love kids, and are extremely good looking". "Hmmm", say the girls, "But, I wonder what´s further up?".

Third floor: "These men have high paying jobs, are extremely good looking, love kids and help with the housework."

"Wow!" say the women. "Very tempting, BUT there´s more further up!" And so again, they go up.

Fourth floor: "These men have high paying jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak." "Oh, mercy me. But just think!?!?! What must be awaiting us further on!"

So up to the fifth floor they go.

The sign on that door said: "This floor is just to prove that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping and have a nice day!!"

* * *

Jay sent this to me in 2001, and it is still true today:

IF CARS WERE BUILT LIKE COMPUTERS

At a computer expo, Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated: "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that got 1000 miles to the gallon."

In response to Bill´s comments, General Motors is supposed to have issued this press release:

"If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:

1. For no reason whatsoever your car would crash twice a day.

2. Every time they repainted the lines on the road you would have to buy a new car.

3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason and you would just accept this, restart and drive on.

4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn, would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.

5. Only one person at a time could use the car, unless you bought "Car95" or "CarNT." But then you would have to buy more seats.

6. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive, but would only run on five per cent of the roads.

7. The oil, water temperature and alternator warning lights would be replaced by a single "general car default" warning light.

8. New seats would force everyone to have the same size butt.

9. The airbag system would say "Are you sure?" before going off.

10. Occasionally for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key, and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

11. GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of Rand McNally road maps (now a GM subsidiary), even though they neither need them nor want them. Attempting to delete this option would immediately cause the car´s performance to diminish by 50% or more. Moreover, GM would become a target for investigation by the Justice Department.

12. Every time GM introduced a new model car, buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.

13. You´d press the "start" button to shut off the engine.

Bruce Galway forwards this disturbing

SCIENTIFIC STUDY

A South American scientist from Argentina, after a lengthy study, has discovered that people with very low intellect read their e-mails with their hand on the mouse.

Don´t bother taking it off now; it´s too late.

Ernest Blaschke posted this story about

THE SMARTER SEX

When Dan found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father died, he decided he needed a woman to enjoy it with. So one evening he went to a singles bar where he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her natural beauty took his breath away.

"I may look like just an ordinary man," he said as he walked up to her, "but in just a week or two, my father will die, and I´ll inherit 20 million dollars."

Impressed, the woman went home with him that evening and, three days later, she became his stepmother.

Women are so much smarter than men....

THIS WEEK´S SUGGESTED SITES

Kate Brookfield forwards this message:

Check out this website below for ways to minimally cooperate with the upcoming census as a way of protesting its being contracted out to a Canadian subsidiary of arms manufacturer Lockheed-Martin. It´s quite a funny website:

http://www.countmeout.ca

~~~~~

SAVE THE SEALS

A recent CTV broadcast of Canada AM featured interviews with both Minister Hearn and Sheryl Fink from IFAW. After the show, CTV posted a poll on their website asking viewers "Do you support the seal hunt?" The poll is in the top right corner of Canada AM´s home page.

Please don´t let the sealing industry win this poll. We need to send a strong message before the hunt begins that Canadians are tired of paying for the largest slaughter of marine mammals in the world.

It takes just a few seconds to vote NO on the Seal Hunt. but the suffering of seals will continue for years to come if we don´t speak out now.

http://www.kintera.org/TR.asp?ID=M715000764464581325259365

~~~~~

INTERESTED IN NETFILING YOUR INCOME TAX RETURN?

Income tax returns may be filed, if desired, using Canada Revenue Agency´s Netfile service. There are several CRA-approved software packages which may be used to Netfile a return. For more information on the Netfile process, visit the CRA website at http://www.netfile.gc.ca.

~~~~~

This site shows a prize-winning animated ad from Europe:

http://www.epica-awards.org/assets/epica/2004/winners/film/flv/06037.htm

THE TALE SPINNER ON THE WEB

You can also read this newsletter online at http://members.shaw.ca/vjsansum/index.htm and http://www.nw-seniorsonline.org/stories.html

I will never be an old man. To me, old age is always 15 years older than I am. - Francis Bacon

I will never be an old man. To me, old age is always 15 years older than I am.