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whew !!!

IN THIS ISSUE

• Geoff Goodship fulfills a long-held ambition
• Jack Peaker rates the Big Band leaders
• Verda Cook writes about her flop of a garden
• Gerrit de Leeuw forwards a story about a not-so-dumb Newfie
• Burke Dykes has a joke about arthritis
• From Lew´s News, the diary of a blonde cook
• Miriam Ockenden tells of a simple remedy - cheap, too
• Catherine Green sends a story about a marriage counsellor
• Anita Henderson and Miriam suggest interesting sites

Geoff Goodship concludes his story of his visit to

OSHKOSH AIR SHOW

Iım willing to bet that 90 percent of Tale Spinnerıs readers who have flown in a small aircraft will have heard of Oshkosh. ³The Largest Air Show in the World² is how Oshkosh advertises itself. Certainly the numbers involved support the claim, between 600,000 and 900,000 people there during the week-long event. It seems that anyone who moves an airplane around in the sky has heard of Oshkosh. I first heard about the event when I took flying lessons many years ago. It has been my ambition to make the trip since then.

Most people who attend Oshkosh get there in a small aircraft, usually their own or that of a friend. Thatıs how I got there, as copilot to a good friend, in a Cessna Skylane 180. Well, thatıs not quite true. We got there in a rented car, for we had to land in Green Bay some 50 miles away for we did not make reservations sufficiently early to get a space.

Oshkosh is best described as one awesome tailgate party, with airplanes instead of trucks and campers. After landing, you move your aircraft quickly off the active runway to a grassy field to set up camp. If you are fortunate to have a high-wing aircraft, a tarp thrown over the wing is all the shelter you need. If you have a low-wing aircraft, donıt get up too quickly.

Parking is a matter of sorting aircraft by type: all the Moonies are in one area, Cessnas in another, various homebuilt kit aircraft in another, ultralites in a flock by themselves. A strange assortment of large and small old war birds clustered together, but most of them opted for asphalt parking areas. Arthritis, perhaps?

Needless to say, the principal conversation for the next week was airplane stories: how fast, how far, how high, how low, how narrow the escape, how near the miss, how tragic the ending. If you are fascinated with flying stories as I am, you could spend the week in the grassy parking area without ever visiting the exhibit area.

There are of course many commercial exhibits. All the major manufacturers are there; not just the people who manufacture and sell aircraft, but those who supply upgrades, accessories, and a host of other aircraft-related toys. Would you like a monogrammed tie, or an ashtray with your aircraft call sign on it? How about a personalized wind soc for your garage or hanger, or for a hundred K you can purchase a really interesting build-it-yourself kit. There were at least four larger American universities there, recruiting for their flight training schools. The RCAF was there, as was the RAF. I have no idea why and didnıt stop long enough to ask.

For me the biggest ³buzz² occurred shortly after we arrived. We took a hand-held radio with us and tuned it to the tower frequency before parking ourselves close to the near end of the three long parallel landing runways. The tower controls the landing process and with several planes arriving every minute, you can imagine the controller was a very busy person. I could hear but hardly believe the speed with which the controller sorted out the incoming traffic. It sounded much like an auctioneer.

Some aircraft touched down at 35 miles per hour, while others landed at 135 mph. Incoming aircraft were not allowed the usual ³dialogue² between pilot and tower. Pilots listened and did what they were told with no discussion and no questions. We were told that tower controllers took shifts of only 20 minutes, for it was that intense. We were also told that 11,000 aircraft landed on the three parallel runways in the first two days of the week-long event. FAA regulations regarding aircraft spacing must have been left elsewhere in Wisconsin.

Apart from the many different types of colorful aircraft parked everywhere, there were exhibits, displays, and workshops for those building their own home-built aircraft. Food and restroom facilities were plentiful. The weather was quite warm while we were there so that wandering from one display to another soon grew tiring. The smell of aviation gas and the roar of some aircraft overhead kept us going far longer than our normal endurance. Thus ³Oshkosh by Gosh.³

For more, visit http://www.airventure.org/

Jack Peaker wrote an article for the September issue of ´The Sentinel,´ a seniors´ publication, about his favourite subject. Here is how he ranked them from one to ten:

THE BIG BANDS

Number 1 (by a narrow margin): Jimmy Dorsey. His several million selling records like ´Green Eyes´ and ´Tangerine´ and the very romantic ´I´m Stepping Out with a Memory Tonight´ dominated the jukebox scene for many months. His theme song, ´Contrasts,´ featured Jimmy´s great clarinet. Vocalists Bob Eberle (with him for eight years) and Helen O´Connell made such a team that their ballads, backed by Jimmy´s clarinet, were unsurpassable. When Helen left to start a family, Jimmy found Kitty Kalen, whose recordings with Bob were so similar.´So Rare´ did not need a vocalist when played by Jimmy´s big band and topped the charts for many weeks and became a gold record.

Number 2: Artie Shaw (the last to pass away, on Dec. 30th, 2004, at age 94) - "the world´s greatest clarinettist, and only swing musician to challenge the crown of Benny Goodman (the King of Swing).

His first vocalist was Billie Holiday (Lady Day), followed by Paula Kelly, and later the wonderful Helen Forrest, with songs such as ´It Had To Be You´ and ´Stardust,´ along with "I Had the Craziest Dream," after which she named her book. Artie´s best-selling record was ´Begin the Beguine.´ He named one popular song after the street where he lived, ´Summit Ridge Drive.´

The handsome Artie´s wives included Lana Turner (third, in 1940, for seven months); Ava Gardner (1945 - fifth); and Evelyn Keyes (author of "Forever Amber," 1957 - eighth and last.)

Number 3: Glenn Miller (many Seniors would rank him no. 1). He played trombone, but it was with a combination of the clarinet and saxophone section that the unequalled "Glenn Miller" sound was produced.

His Modernaires singing group was featured, along with Ray Eberly, in the motion picture "Sun Valley Serenade". Ray was vocalist on records that sold in the millions because of that great band backing him. I never felt that his singing equalled that of his brother, Bob, who helped make Jimmy number 1.

Glenn´s better vocalist, Sergeant Johnny Desmond, sang with Glenn´s Army Air Force Band. His singing of ´Stairway to the Stars´ helped make it my favourite song. ´Pennsylvania 6-5000´ was named after Glenn´s phone number. His theme song, ´Moonlight Serenade,´ was such a romantic ballad that it was given credit for - or blamed - for increasing the birth rate.

Glenn´s death remains a mystery. On December 14th, 1944, during bad weather, he was flying in a Norseman, from England to Paris and disappeared, never to be heard from again. It was more recently rumoured that he had died in a Paris house of ill repute.

From 1946 until 1949, Tex Beneke, Glenn´s saxophonist, recorded such notables as ´Chatanooga Choo Choo´ and ´Gal in Kalamazoo,´ in which he sang as well as played sax.

Number 4: Duke Ellington, that sophisticated genius, a great composer of music. His big band included some of the great musicians - Johnny Hodges on alto saxophone, Buddy Rich on drums (until he formed his own band), Tommy Dorsey on trombone (until he too formed his own band), and Billy Strayhorn on piano.

Billy arranged many of those great songs of the Duke´s - ´Do Nothing Till You Hear from Me,´ ´Satin Doll,´ ´Don´t Get Around Much Any More,´ and ´Sophisticated Lady.´ His arrangement of Duke´s theme song, ´Take the A Train,´ was an all-time biggest hit. Eight minutes long, it was so difficult to sing that only Ella Fitzgerald, with her scat singing, could do it justice.

His first vocalist, Ivie Anderson, made popular ´I Got It Bad and That Ain´t Good.´ Later Kaye Davis and Joya Sherrill combined to make ´It Don´t Mean a Thing if it Ain´t Got That Swing´ and other songs that were played repeatedly on the jukeboxes.

Ray Nance, along with singing, played trumpet and acted as a sort of comedian.

Number 5: Tommy Dorsey. Number 1´s trombone-playing brother, after he hired that skinny kid, became the most popular big band when Frank Sinatra with his lovely, lilting voice, combined with his sex appeal, brought out the bobby soxers in droves.

Tommy´s other great vocalists were Jo Stafford with songs like ´All or Nothing at All´ and ´Dream a Little Dream of Me,´ and Dick Haymes with ´Serenade in Blue´ and ´There Are Such Things.´ Tommys top-selling record, ´Marie,´ was sung by Jack Leonard.

Tommy was known as The Sentimental Gentleman of Swing; his theme song was ´I´m Getting Sentimental over You.´

Number 6: Woody Herman - one of few Big Band leaders who did much of the singing along with being a great clarinest. He played the song ´Laura,´ by Johnny Mercer, in the movie of the same name. ´Early Autumn´ by Johnny Mercer topped the charts for months.´Caldonia´ is fondly remembered by Big Band fans.

He was a well-respected band leader, vocalist, clarinetist, and saxophonist. He began the first of his own bands in 1936. Throughout his career, his bands were nicknamed "Herman´s Herd" or "Swinging Herd", or a similar variation.

To be concluded

CORRESPONDENCE

Verda Cook, whose garden stories we have enjoyed, writes:

Hope your summer has been an enjoyable one. The Vancouver area had extremely high temperatures, as did Southern Ontario. The high temperatures would have been bearable except for the humidity. Night temperatures did not drop enough to make sleeping comfortable.

While this was not good for the health of humans, it certainly was ideal for plants in the garden. I have been telling people who inquire about the garden that this year it is a ´flop.´ The plants have grown so tall that the weight of the blooms makes the plants top heavy, and they flop over the plants surrounding them.

Coreopsis were eight feet tall and fell over the phlox, which in turn were pushed over the Russian sage and the dianthus. One would not know these plants existed in the garden. The prairie meadow plant was six feet tall, and beside it the rose of Sharon toppled over the mums, etc. So a lot of the colour that would have existed was out of sight, making the garden look untidy and bland. Where does one find stakes six and eight feet tall to support plants?

The weather has cooled somewhat now, but during the heat wave it was impossible to work in the garden, so things really did get out of hand. Now we are creeping towards fall and it is unrealistic to put a lot of effort into correcting it.

Who knows what next year will bring. That is some of the excitement in landscaping - each year is so different.

ED. NOTE: Yes, it has been hot in Vancouver, and this Labour Day weekend it is supposed to be 28/29 degrees every day. I sincerely hope this is summer´s last hurrah!

Gerrit de Leeuw sends this story:

NEWFIES ARE NOT SO DUMB

Two Newfies, Archie and Harry, were driving down the road drinking a couple of beers. Harry said, "Lord tundering jaisus, up ahead, it´s a police roadblock. We´re gonna get busted fer drinkin´ dese here beers!"

"Don´t worry," Archie said. "We´ll just pull over and finish dese beers, then peel off the labels, stick them on our foreheads, and trow the bottles under the seat."

"What fer?"

"Jist let me do de talkin´, OK?"

So they finished their beers, threw the empties out of sight, and put a label on each of their foreheads. When they reached the roadblock, the police officer took a long look at the two of them and asked, "You boys been drinkin´?"

"No sir," said Archie, pointing at the labels. "We´re on the patch."

Burke Dykes sends this one:

HOLY ARTHRITIS

A drunk who smelled of beer sat down on a subway seat next to a priest. The man´s tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half-empty bottle of gin was protruding from his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began reading.

After a few minutes the man turned to the priest and asked, "Tell me, Father, what causes arthritis?"

The priest replied, "My son, it is caused by loose living, being with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol, and a contempt for your fellow man, sleeping around with prostitutes, and a lack of personal hygiene."

The drunk muttered in response, "Well, I´ll be darned," and returned to his newspaper. The priest, thinking about what he had said, put his hand gently on the man´s arm and apologized. "I´m sorry ... I should not have come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?"

"I don´t have arthritis, Father. I was just reading here that the Pope does."

From Lew´s News (LewCarter78@aol.com), this one is about

THE BLONDE´S COOKBOOK

Monday - It´s fun to cook for Tom. Today I made angel food cake. The recipe said to beat 12 eggs separately. The neighbors were nice enough to lend me extra bowls.

Tuesday - Tom wanted fruit salad for supper. The recipe said to serve without dressing. So I didn´t dress. What a surprise Tom got when he brought a friend home for dinner.

Wednesday - A good day for rice. The recipe said wash thoroughly before steaming the rice. It seemed kind of silly, but I took a bath anyway. I couldn´t see where it improved things.

Thursday - Today Tom asked for salad again so I tried a new recipe. It said prepare ingredients, then lay on a bed of lettuce before serving. Tom asked me why I was rolling around in the garden.

Friday - I found an easy recipe for cookies. It said put the ingredients in a bowl then beat it. There must have been something wrong with the recipe. When I got back everything was the same as when I left.

Saturday - Tom did the shopping today and brought home a chicken. He asked me to dress it for Sunday (Oh boy). For some reason, Tom keeps counting to 10.

Sunday - Tom´s folks came to dinner. I wanted to serve roast but all I had was hamburger. Suddenly I had a flash of genius. I put it in the oven and pressed "Roast." It still came out hamburger, much to my disappointment.

Good Night, Dear Diary ... This has been an exciting week. I´m eager for tomorrow to come so I can try out a new recipe on Tom. If I can talk him into buying a bigger oven, I plan to serve him Chocolate Moose."

Miriam Ockenden forwards this story about

A SIMPLE CURE

Bubba went to a psychiatrist.

When he got there, he said, "I´ve got problems. Every time I go to bed, I think there´s somebody under it. I´m scared. I think I´m going crazy."

"Just put yourself in my hands for one year," said the shrink. "Come talk to me three times a week and we should be able to get rid of those fears."

"How much do you charge"?

"Eighty dollars per visit," replied the doctor.

"I´ll sleep on it," said Bubba.

Six months later, the doctor met Bubba on the street. "Why didn´t you ever come to see about those fears you were having"? asked the psychiatrist.

"Well, eighty bucks a visit three times a week for a year is an awful lot of money! A bartender cured me for $10. I was so happy to have saved all that money, I went and bought me a new pickup!"

"Is that so! And how, may I ask, did a bartender cure you?"

"He told me to cut the legs off the bed! Ain´t nobody under there now!"

Catherine Green forwards this story about

MARRIAGE COUNSELLING

A husband and wife go to a counselor after 15 years of marriage. The counselor asks them what the problem is and the wife goes into a tirade listing every problem they have ever had in the 15 years they´ve been married. She goes on and on and on.

Finally, the counselor gets up, walks around the desk, embraces the wife and kisses her passionately. The woman shuts up and sits quietly in a daze.

The counselor turns to the husband and says, "This is what your wife needs at least three times a week. Can you do this?"

The husband thinks for a moment and replies, "Well, I can drop her off here on Mondays and Wednesdays, but on Fridays, I fish."

A CURRIED GLAZE FOR GRILLING

Anita Henderson suggests a site for everyone who will be barbecuing this weekend:

http://tinyurl.com/oat57

~~~~~

Miriam Ockenden forwards this website which shows the microscopic art of Willard Wigen, who has dyslexia, but has talented hands. He makes sculptures out of dust particles, sugar crystals, etc.

http://www.ezprezzo.com/crazypics/microscopic_art.html

~~~~~

THERE ARE MANY UNSUNG HEROES

But this site reminds us that not all are unrecognized. For an antidote to the news of the day, read HeroicStories, which helps to show the best sides of all the citizens of our globe.

Any moment now they will gain reader number 40,000. Perhaps you´ll be the next one: Just send a blank message to join- heroicstories@lyris.net or visit http://www.HeroicStories.com

"I live by this credo: Have a little laugh at life and look around you for happiness instead of sadness. Laughter had always brought me out of unhappy situations. Even in your darkest moment, you usually can find something to laugh about if you try hard enough."