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IN THIS ISSUE

• Arthur Pay comes to the end of his service at Newick Park
• Dick Monaghan recalls a firewatcher from his railroad days
• Gerrit de Leeuw concludes his story of Assiniboine Lodge
• Jack Peaker tells of a well-deserved jail sentence
• Miriam Ockenden forwards some pet peeves
• Irene Harvalias extols the virtues of a BOOK
• Carol Shoemaker suggests a funny site

Arthur Pay has problems with authorities:

"WHAT DID YOU DO IN THE WAR, DADDY?"

The village of Newick was some two miles away so there was very little opportunity to leave the house. Consequently there was a bar opened on the premises but because of licensing regulations the prices of drinks had to match those of public houses. As there was a captive clientele, a substantial profit was made. I argued that as this profit margin was made by the men, they were entitled to say how it was to be spent, and also that the bar accounts should be audited. Colonel Penn cited Regional Orders to claim that he was responsible for making decisions, and thought that the proceeds should be used to purchase sports equipment chosen by him.

Regarding the auditing of accounts he proceeded to nominate auditors, including me. I pointed out that auditors should be appointed by the men and not by him, and refused to do the work.

As I had clerical experience, Colonel Penn had posted me to work in the office at Newick Park, and in fact I got on very well with him at first. He had a farm in Uganda and was writing a book about Uganda´s past, and about its future possibilities after the war was over. He used to get me to proof read and comment on his writings. Being in the office also gave me access to South East Region Orders, and in addition I became secretary of the Trade Union of N.U.P.E. which was organized at Newick.

The problem the authorities had was the same as in London, which was that they just didn´t know what to do with us, and as we were all civilians they couldn´t get away with bossing us around as if we were in the army. They tried hard, though. For example, instructions were laid down that if braces were worn, even in hot weather, the regulation blouse must be worn and done up at the neck if you weren´t an officer. I always had my blouse open at the neck, and wore a red tie, and I was the subject of an adverse comment made by a visiting officer sent to Newick Park to report on the unit.

I remember telling one group officer, who instructed me to pick up some used matches near the hut entrance, to pick them up himself.

During the whole of the period of my stay at Newick Park there was never a callout for an emergency, although we skated about the South East Region on various practice runs. Even when there was a complete red alert, Jerry was never about - it was just practice for the invasion of Europe to come in June 1944.

I had practically 100% membership of the N.U.P.E. branch at Newick and as such, was appointed by the adjutant to supervise the menus of the officers as against the rations of the men.

The crunch came when the sewage system broke down and I, personally, was instructed to scoop out the surplus from the system and dig holes to bury it. I might mention in passing that there were several used condoms in the sewage and in view of the paucity of females, it was interesting to conjecture who flushed them down the toilets.

I don´t know if it was a deliberate attempt to victimize me because of my known opposition to the system in general, but shortly afterwards I was detailed to report to Eastbourne Rescue Party and chucked out of Newick Park, and this was certainly deliberate.

Colonel Penn made the mistake of writing to the Senior Regional Controller, thanking him for the speed at which he had arranged for my transfer to Eastbourne, mentioning the fact that I was secretary of N.U.P.E. and that I had openly expressed my disagreement with the commandant.

Being in the office, I was able to obtain a copy of this letter, which I sent to our MP, Reg Sorensen, who in turn took the matter up with the regional boss, Mr. Bottomly. The result was that Colonel Penn himself was transferred to a mobile unit in Manchester.

To be continued.

Dick Monaghan remembers

PERCY

Education generally comes in two parts, formal and street-level.

As I´ve mentioned before, I worked in a railroad roundhouse in the summer of 1944. We had a fellow called a "firewatcher," whose job it was to range through the locomotives and start, stop, or maintain their fires. It was a lonesome job.

Keep in mind the pay around there was about 57 cents per hour, so the railroad was stuck with high-school students and winos.

The firewatcher´s name was Percy, and I thought then he was an old, old man. Actually, I still do, because although I may have 15 years on him now, Percy was an old man in grade school, I think.Percy had a fixation on sex. Nothing new there, you say, but it wasn´t the originality of his obsession that made it remarkable, it was his dedication and belief, his singleness of purpose.

Sometimes, when several of us younger types were clustered around a workbench, wasting the Northern Pacific´s time, Percy would amble up, his drop-light hanging in coils from his shoulder. "Boys," he would say, licking his rubbery lips, unsupported by teeth, "have you ever...." His eyes would take on a long-distance stare, and he would describe in exquisite detail something we had never thought of. Today, I think, any high-school student probably knows everything Percy thought he did, but we´re talking 1944, and things were different.

I was about half-nasty and arrogant in those days. Once, when Percy had spent 20 minutes illuminating us, I said, "Why does he DO that? He never did half that stuff, and he´s certainly not going to do it now." An older (maybe younger) but wiser voice said, "It helps him get through the day. How do you get through the day?"

I´d never thought of that. I´d never though I needed a way to get through the day. At 15, I had this wordless certainty that things would fall into place for me, and my ambitions would all be satisfied - somehow. Of course, when it came time to sail my ship to sea, so to speak, it turned out I had to do considerable trimming of my sails. And I´ve decided, at almost 80, that I´ve been luckier than I deserved: I didn´t get everything I thought I wanted, and I didn´t have to pay the price for too much greed, vanity, anger, and sloth.

I just wish I´d been nicer to Percy.

Gerrit de Leeuw concludes his story of their visit to

ASSINIBOINE LODGE

The weather was very good with the added benefit that there are no flies or mosquitoes at this time of the year. We got a snow shower for about ½ hour on Tuesday but it did not dampen the enthusiasm with which we were hiking and even was enjoyable, giving us yet another perspective of the beauty of nature. Our son Gary equipped us with all his and his girlfriend´s rain and other gear we might need. We owe him a great debt for providing us with this experience of a lifetime. The trip came from him as a 2006 Christmas present. He is an outdoor enthusiast himself and knew that I longed to see Assiniboine Mountain. No parent could wish for better two sons than we are blessed with. They both are teachers and each in his own way contributes in this manner to the betterment of our youth population.

After returning from a hike Monday and Tuesday around 4 o´clock I went on a good walk/hike by myself. Elma is always paranoid about bears and is on edge when we are out alone. This way I could enjoy the serene silence the mountains provide without having her fears spoil my sense of complete relaxation. I do understand her fears and that she would rather go in a group. Like my fears of heights spoils going on some more challenging hikes, it is not easy to overcome. I, on the other hand, love to be alone during a hike. Hiking in the mountains provides a great tonic away from the daily city routines, stresses and pressures that come with it. It provides a tranquility that is unequalled. Actually there is not much to fear in this area. There is very little wildlife there because there is not much food for them around in this part of the mountains.

I took about 170 pictures, all within about six to seven kilometers of the lodge. They should provide you with a fair picture of the surroundings. [For some of Gerrit´s pictures, go to http:// members.shaw.ca/vjsansum/ or http://www.nw-seniorsonline.org/ stories.html]

The Assiniboine lodge has six rooms itself and some scattered cabins. There is a shower house with a sauna. I don´t like the sauna but enjoyed the shower early in the morning. It was away from the lodge. I just put some clothes over my pyjamas and out I went. There is only one flush toilet in the lodge but one cannot flush any paper through it. So it was the outhouse most of the time. It´s all part of the ´outdoor´ experience. The rooms in the lodge are very noisy and one can hear the neighbours snore as if they were in the same room (too much wind could be a problem!).

The food was out of this world. Plenty of it, and nothing but #1 quality cooking and ingredients. Breakfast was ample with choices of muesli, hot cereals, juices, fruit salads and yogurt. And for second course, hot dishes with what looked like omelette crust and then filled with fruits of all kind. Right after breakfast, a table was put up with all kinds of home-baked bread, cheeses, cold cuts, fruits, including prunes and dates, trail mix, pickles, etc., including some of the largest and best home-baked cookies. I dare say that they were even better than Elma´s baked cookies. This is saying a lot because she bakes some of the finest. Each person makes his own lunch for the trail.

As soon as we were back from the trail there was a big display of cheeses, salami, and thinly-sliced smoked buffalo meat to go with assorted whole-grain crackers displayed in the day area of the lodge.

Supper was as good as the breakfast. The first night we had a bowl of mushroom soup full of mushrooms and of a taste I had never experienced. Campbell´s has a long way before they equal this one! Next was salmon fillet with mashed potatoes, along with choices of broccoli, green beans, and cauliflower. The dessert was out of this world and something I had never tasted. It was served as ´coming right off the glacier´. It was most likely rich in eggs and cream and did nothing to lower the cholesterol count. But what the heck, this is a once-in-a-lifetime experience. The next supper was served with chicken breast and the last one was leg of lamb. All servings were of more than ample portions, with very tasty rice and noodle dishes. It was a good thing that we exerted ourselves during the daily hikes.

All this came to an end too soon. Wednesday at a little past noon we flew out and back to civilization. We promised our new-found Japanese friends that we would show them the way to the airport because they had to catch a flight out at 4 o´clock. We did not want them to get lost in the road construction bustle in Calgary and miss their flight. They also had to return their rental car at the Calgary Airport in time.

Coming back was a bit of a letdown after what I think of as ´being in heaven´ for over three days. There cannot be a better place to be.

I can´t remember if I have published this story sent by Jack Peaker or if I just remember it:

JAIL

Two elderly friends, Larry and Ken, met in the park every day to feed the pigeons, watch the squirrels, and discuss world problems.

One day Larry didn´t show up. Ken didn´t think much about it and figured maybe he had a cold or something. But after Larry hadn´t shown up for a week or so, Ken really got worried. However, since the only time they ever got together was at the park, Ken didn´t know where Larry lived, so he was unable to find out what had happened to him.

A month had passed, and Ken figured he had seen the last of Larry, but one day, Ken approached the park and - lo and behold - there sat Larry! Ken was very excited and happy to see him and told him so. Then he said, "For crying out loud, Larry, what in the world happened to you?"

Larry replied, "I have been in jail."

"Jail?" cried Ken. "What in the world for?"

"Well," Larry said, "you know Sue, that cute little blonde waitress at the coffee shop where we sometimes go?"

"Yeah," said Ken, "I remember her. What about her?"

"Well, one day she filed rape charges against me and, at 89 years old, I was so proud that when I got into court, I pleaded guilty...

"The judge gave me 30 days for perjury!"

Miriam Ockenden asks

DON´T YOU HATE IT WHEN ...

You have to try on a pair of sunglasses with that stupid little plastic thing in the middle of them.

The elevator stops on every floor and nobody gets on.

You open a can of soup, and the lid falls in.

There´s a dog in the neighbourhood that barks at EVERYTHING.

You slice your tongue licking an envelope.

You wash a garment with a tissue in the pocket and your entire laundry comes out covered with lint.

A piece of foil candy wrapper makes electrical contact with your filling.

You set the alarm on your digital clock for 7 p.m. instead of 7 a.m.

The radio station doesn´t tell you who sang that song.

You rub on hand cream and can´t turn the bathroom doorknob to get out.

Your glasses slide off your ears when you perspire.

You reach under the table to pick something off the floor and smash your head on the way up.

In recognition of all the literary events in Canada this fall, Irene Harvalias sends this technical description of the new Bio-Optic Organized Knowledge device, trade named:

BOOK

BOOK is a revolutionary breakthrough in technology: no wires, no electric circuits, no batteries, nothing to be connected or switched on. It´s so easy to use, even a child can operate it.

Compact and portable, it can be used anywhere - even sitting in an armchair by the fire - yet is powerful enough to hold as much information as a CD-ROM disc. Here´s how it works:

BOOK is constructed of sequentially numbered sheets of paper (recyclable), each capable of holding thousands of bits of information. The pages are locked together with a custom-fit device called a binder, which keeps the sheets in their correct sequence.

Opaque Paper Technology (OPT) allows manufacturers to use both sides of the sheet, doubling the information density and cutting costs. Experts are divided on the prospects for further increases in information density; for now, BOOKs with more information simply use more pages.

Each sheet is scanned optically, registering information directly into your brain. A flick of the finger takes you to the next sheet. BOOK may be taken up at any time and used merely by opening it.

Unlike other display devices, BOOK never crashes or requires rebooting, and it can even be dropped on the floor or stepped on without damage. However, it can become unusable if immersed in water for a significant period of time. The "browse" feature allows you to move instantly to any sheet and move forward or backward as you wish. Many come with an "index" feature, which pinpoints the exact location of selected information for instant retrieval.

An optionally "BOOKmark" accessory allows you to open BOOK to the exact place you left it in a previous session - even if the BOOK has been closed. BOOKmarks fit universal design standards; thus, a single BOOKmark can be used in BOOKs by various manufacturers. Conversely, numerous BOOKmarkers can be used in a single BOOK if the user wants to store numerous views at once. The number is limited only by the number of pages in the BOOK.

You can also make personal notes next to BOOK entries with an optional programming tool, the Portable Erasable Nib Cryptic Intercommunication Language Stylus (PENCILS).

Portable, durable, and affordable, BOOK is being hailed as a precursor of a new entertainment wave. Also, BOOK´s appeal seems so certain that thousands of content creators have committed to the platform and investors are reportedly flocking. Look for a flood of new titles soon.

Just for fun, check out this site sent by Carol Shoemaker:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9yN-6PbqAPM

"What we have done for ourselves alone dies with us. What we have done for others and the world remains and is immortal." - Albert Pine