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IN THIS ISSUE

• Verda Cook reaches the coast in her account of their train trip
• Carolyn Harris describes her search for a good RV park
• Jack Peaker writes about enjoying retirement
• Gerrit de Leeuw tells the story of three women in Heaven
• Burke Dykes describes one woman´s retirement plan
• Shirley Conlon sends the story of Herman
• Catherine Green forwards the tale of a prescient little girl
• Zvonko Springer tells of a novel form of punishment
• Carolyn Harris hosts two interesting websites

Verda Cook reaches BC in her description of a train trip

EXPLORING CANADA "THE CANADIAN" WAY

On September 23 we woke up to a beautiful view of high mountains with clouds hanging mid-way. The sun illuminated the peaks while the lower levels were still in deep shade. Between the mountains and the railroad tracks flowed a river with rapids, ideal for white-water rafting.

Our table companions at breakfast were from South Africa. They were very impressed with the country and were enjoying their travels immensely.

The scenery had changed dramatically. We saw fishing boats on wide rivers, and on either side of the tracks there were cornfields, fruit orchards, vineyards, and row upon row of greenhouses.

As we slowly entered New Westminster, metal scrap yards and old car graveyards lined the tracks. Between two such "industries" I noticed a tent facing the train. A table with an umbrella stood near the open doorway; pots and pans stood near the table. The tent appeared to be filled with battered personal items. In the doorway of the tent sat a scruffy man. Apparently this was living quarters for someone who had no permanent home. Shortly after this scene, the train passed through a very wealthy suburb consisting of high-rise condos with balconies providing a view of the river and beyond. I am bothered by the fact that while some of us have luxurious lives, some others must live in squalor - and this in a country which is among the wealthiest nations.

We arrived at the Vancouver VIA station at 10:45 a.m. Pacific Time. The Sylvia Hotel would be our home for the next three days. This was recommended and arranged by our travel agent. We were told that the Sylvia is an historic building which has been restored to its former glory and was recently recognized as a Heritage Building by the city of Vancouver. The building stands on the edge of Stanley Park. Since both Stanley and I were founding members of a Historical Architectural Conservation Committee for our municipality, we anticipated our stay in this building.

When we arrived, the clerk at the front desk told us that our rooms would not be available before 1:00 p.m., so our luggage was placed in storage, and it was time to explore.

Crossing the street, we walked through the gardens to the promenade at the edge of English Bay. We were surrounded by a profusion of flowers, rhododendron shrubs, palm and banana trees. The sun was shining and gave us a stunning welcome to Vancouver; there was no need for sweaters. The balmy breeze added to the enjoyment of the out of doors.

A few blocks further on, we found a small cafe where the menu enticed us to have lunch. While enjoying our lunch, I noticed the breakfast menu. One item stood out: Green Eggs and Ham. I drew Catherine´s attention to this item and said that I must have breakfast at this cafe before we left Vancouver so I could tell our grandchildren that I ate Green Eggs and Ham.

We returned to the hotel and were shown to our rooms. The interior of the hotel was tastefully decorated in the period in which it was constructed. The furniture complemented the architecture. Our room overlooked English Bay, a beautiful view. Buildings around us had roof-top gardens. The underground garage attached to the apartment beside the hotel had the roof completely planted with vines and heather. The vines spilled over the side and the heather was in full bloom.

After unpacking, we again entered Stanley Park, walking twenty minutes along the promenade to the recreational area. Here we boarded a shuttle bus and toured Stanley Park. Last year´s news headlines would have one believe that Stanley Park was completely devastated by several major storms. Having visited Stanley Park in the mid 1970s, I expected to see the large acreage almost bare except for tree stumps everywhere. While the damage was severe, it was not as extensive as reported by the media. The park covers a very large area and the damage was confined to a small inner area. Just as disturbing as the damage to the trees was the neglect of the famous Rose Garden. Civic workers were on strike and the Rose Garden was a shambles. Some sections of the trail along the Seawall were closed, due to storm damage. During our walk back to the hotel, we admired the sculptures which beach artists had created from debris washed up on shore.

To be continued.

Carolyn Harris, who wrote "RV in NZ: How to Spend Your Winters South - Way South in New Zealand", here tells how she went about

FINDING THE RIGHT RV PARK

Three years ago while our neighbors were stacking wood and stocking up on Prozac to get through another dreary winter, my husband, Dave, and I packed up our old RV and our older tom cat, Morris, and headed south with an early winter gnawing on our tag axle. It was time to get out of an RV and into a park model.

When asked, "What´s a park model?" by my northwestern friends, I say, "It´s kind of like a small single-wide mobile home." Which it isn´t. Park models by law have to be three hundred and ninety nine square feet or smaller, but living space can be increased by adding an Arizona room - more or less a glassed-in sunporch-like addition tacked onto one side.

Across southern Arizona, RV parks have park models - from bare boned to pretty fancy - snugged in with the often more costly RVs. The majority are owned by Snowbirds - winter refugees from Canada, Wisconsin, Illinois, or anyplace else with a nose-nipping winter. In our RV park in Tucson, around 20% of the residents stay year round - or pretend they do. Most store their RVs in the park´s storage yard and head north for the summer, or keep a similar park model or their primary residence in a cooler climate. Many park model owners are former RV owners tired of the expense and stress of that next breakdown.

Buying a used park model is fairly simple. Most RV parks have on-site sales representatives. Decide where you want to live, contact the local Chamber of Commerce for park information, then contact each RV park directly through their web site or by phone. Buying a new model will take a little longer. Find an available space in a park you like, choose your model, and have the dealer handle the set up.

Yuma, Casa Grande and Tucson are three popular areas for winter homes in Arizona. If you´re looking for a large city, try Phoenix. If you´re looking for a smaller town, they´re scattered around. RV parks differ, so it´s a good idea to spend time in the park you´re considering before you invest. We were interested in a 55+ RV park and we needed a park model in the pet section. Our old tom cat has plans to be the oldest living orange snubbed-tailed cat in the state of Arizona. We narrowed our choice to Cocopah RV Resort in Yuma and Rincon Country West RV Resort in Tucson the previous winter. Cocopah RV Resort is close to Imperial Sand Dunes. We have a sand buggy, so that was a plus. Cocopah is built around a golf course. We take the scenic route when golfing so that didn´t matter. Yuma is warmer, but can get flying sand and dirt when wind blows in from the dunes or the lettuce fields.

Rincon Country West is larger - 1100 units. Tucson is more metropolitan. We can spend an afternoon at a mall or the cinema or an evening at a play or concert. Surrounded by mountains, Tucson is higher and colder than Yuma. But the mountains are beautiful. Another plus for Tucson is good medical facilities - something you tend to think more about as the years creep by and the arthritis creeps in.

Tucson and Yuma are both near the Mexican border. Have lunch, get your teeth fixed, buy new eye glasses, and stock up on prescription drugs and booze. I like my local dentist, but friends I´ve talked to seem happy with the quality of their Mexican dental work.

Cocopah and Rincon Country West both have extensive social activities from wine tasting to line dancing and quality entertainment in their auditoriums. Both have well-run libraries, wood shops and craft and sewing rooms. Both have laid-back take-life-as-it-comes residents who make you feel welcome. I like the metropolitan atmosphere of Tucson. Since we live in the Cascade Mountains with no close neighbors, it´s a change.

But the selling point was money. Yearly space rental fees are similar, but on-site park models in Rincon Country West were several thousand dollars cheaper.

You´ll never make money on a park model, but they´re simple, inexpensive, and easy to walk away from if you decide you really miss shoveling snow.

Jack Peaker contemplates leisure time in retirement:

FEELIN´ GROOVY ...

Members of the Evergreen Seniors Centre are sometimes asked, "Why and when did you decide to get out of the fast lane and start taking things ´nice and easy´?"

For that we may have to go way back to a wintry morning some time ago, with a large house with empty bedrooms and a demanding garden, when the realization hit hard that the children we´d done our best to raise to the point of no return had irrevocably flown the coop.

No more having to rush our porridge and take our coffee with us.

But there´s another reason for us being here today, doing as much - or as little - of what we like best. When the children were small, "The 59th Street Bridge Song", better known as "Feelin´ Groovy", was a monster hit with the immortal opening, "Slow down, you move too fast. You´ve got to make the morning last."

My goodness, how this entered my brain and stayed there. Through the inescapable years and years of caring and sharing and cooking and housekeeping, whenever I felt my situation getting the better of me I´d belt out the words at full volume.

Oddly enough, I´d paid little attention to how the song ends and only recently discovered it predicts with amazing accuracy what happens when you do slow down:

"I´ve got no deeds to do, no promises to keep,I´m dappled and drowsy and ready to sleep,Let the morning time wash all my troubles from me.Life, I love you, all is groovy."es, Simon, Garfunkel, and Uncle Tom Cobley and all, it really is.

Gerrit de Leeuw sends this story about

STEPPING ON DUCKS

Three women die together in an accident and go to heaven. When they get there, St. Peter says, "We only have one rule here in heaven: don´t step on the ducks!"

So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place. It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they try their best to avoid them, the first woman accidentally steps on one.

Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw.

St. Peter chains them together and says, "Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly man!"

The next day, the second woman steps accidentally on a duck and along comes St. Peter, who doesn´t miss a thing. With him is another extremely ugly man. He chains them together with the same admonishment as for the first woman.

The third woman has observed all this and, not wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly man, is very, VERY careful where she steps.

She manages to go months without stepping on any ducks, but one day St. Peter comes up to her with the most handsome man she has ever laid eyes on ... very tall, long eyelashes, muscular, and thin.

St. Peter chains them together without saying a word.

The happy woman says, "I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to you for all of eternity?"

The guy says, "I don´t know about you, but I stepped on a duck!"

For troubled times in the stock market, Burke Dykes sends one woman´s solution to

ESTATE PLANNING

Dan was a single guy living with this father and working in the family business. When he found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father died, he decided he needed a wife with whom to share his fortune.

One evening at an investment meeting he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her natural beauty took his breath away.

"I may look like just an ordinary man," he said to her, "but in just a few years, my father will die, and I´ll inherit 20 million dollars."

Impressed, the woman obtained his business card ... and three days later, she became his stepmother.

Women are so much better at estate planning than men....

Shirley Conlon sends this story abut

HERMAN

Fifty-one years ago, Herman James, a North Carolina mountain man, was drafted by the army.
On his first day in basic training, the army issued him a comb. That afternoon, the army barber sheared off all his hair.
On his second day, the army issued Herman a toothbrush. That afternoon, the army dentist yanked seven of his teeth.
On the third day, the army issued him a jock strap. . . .

The army has been looking for Herman for 51 years.

Catherine Green forwards the story of

FORETELLING THE FUTURE

A father put his three-year-old daughter to bed, told her a story and listened to her prayers, which she ended by saying: "God bless Mommy, God bless Daddy, God bless Grandma, and good-bye, Grandpa."

The father asked, "Why did you say good-bye grandpa?"

The little girl said, "I don´t know daddy; it just seemed like the thing to do."

The next day grandpa died. The father thought it was a strange coincidence. A few months later the father put the girl to bed and listened to her prayers, which went like this: "God bless Mommy, God Bless Daddy, and good-bye, Grandma...."

The next day the grandmother died. Oh my gosh, thought the father, this kid is in contact with the other side.

Several weeks later when the girl was going to bed the dad heard her say: "God bless Mommy, and good-bye, Daddy."

He practically went into shock. He couldn´t sleep all night and got up at the crack of dawn to go to his office. He was nervous as a cat all day, had lunch sent in, and watched the clock. He figured if he could get by until midnight he would be okay.

He felt safe in the office, so instead of going home at the end of the day he stayed there, drinking coffee, looking at his watch and jumping at every sound. Finally, midnight arrived; he breathed a sigh of relief and went home.

When he got home his wife said, "I´ve never seen you work so late. What´s the matter?"

He said, "I don´t want to talk about it. I´ve just spent the worst day of my life."

She said, "You think you had a bad day - you´ll never believe what happened to me. This morning my golf pro dropped dead in the middle of my lesson!"

Zvonko Springer forwards this one:

LEMON SQUEEZE

There once was a religious young woman who went to Confession. Upon entering the confessional, she said, "Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned."

The priest said, "Confess your sins and be forgiven."

The young woman said, "Last night my boyfriend made mad, passionate love to me seven times."

The priest thought long and hard and then said, "Squeeze seven lemons into a glass and then drink the juice."

The young woman asked, "Will this cleanse me of my sins?"

The priest said, "No, but it will wipe that smile off your face."

RECOMMENDED SITES

Carolyn Harris, who wrote the story about park models above, has two websites: one about travel in New Zealand: http:// travelingnewzealand.blogspot.com/ and the other a journal about women´s issues: http://wednesdayswoman.livejournal.com/

There never was a good war or a bad peace - Benjamin Franklin

"There never was a good war or a bad peace" - Benjamin Franklin