---

IN THIS ISSUE

• Verda Cook writes about their visit to Vancouver
• Carolyn Harris gives more information about park models for snowbirds
• Gerrit de Leeuw sends a Canadian poem
• Kate Brookfield does not vouch for these "facts" about the body
• Don Henderson tells the story of the mood ring
• Zvonko Springer forwards this one about a pest control inspector
• Jack Peaker sends the story of a break-up
• Sites are suggested by Don Henderson, Marco de Muinck, and Jack
• Write to your MP if you are concerned about the future of Medicare

Verda Cook tells of a close encounter with cockroaches while

EXPLORING CANADA "THE CANADIAN" WAY

During the night, the fourth floor of the hotel became very warm, so I opened a window to allow for more comfortable sleeping. On the morning of September 24, I woke to the sound of birds singing in the vines outside our window.

The exterior of the hotel was covered with vines which had very large trunks. I wondered how old they might be, and found a clue in the hotel lobby. On the wall, enclosed in a glass frame, was a page from a 1913 newspaper. The article was about Sylvia Court (now Sylvia Hotel) with a photo of the building which showed vines covering the lower portion. This would indicate that the vines could be 94 years old.

We spent a good portion of the day basking in the sun, enjoying the beach, and walking along the promenade. As well, we explored some other parts of Stanley Park. We encountered some street people carrying large plastic garbage bags filled with pop cans and bottles. While the civic workers were on strike, they were able to make a small profit and at the same time they were helping to keep the area neater. This was a day for relaxing and catching our breath.

The next day we woke early to the sound of warbling birds and brilliant sunshine. For breakfast, we walked to the little cafe where we had lunch on our first day in Vancouver. This was the morning to have green eggs and ham. Before I placed my order, I asked how the eggs became green (not wanting food colour on my eggs). The waitress assured me that pesto, not food colour, was used. The breakfast was served with toast and a cinnamon bun. While we were enjoying our "petite dejeuner", a man seated at the table beside us took off his shoe and whacked it against the wall, then whacked a chair. We watched this odd behaviour and when he whacked our table, I asked what he was doing. His response: "Don´t you see the cockroaches?" We looked and we saw. Thankfully, our breakfast had been consumed, but we did make a hasty retreat. So hasty, in fact, that I left my purse beneath the table and wasn´t aware of it until we had returned to the hotel. Stanley hurried back to the cafe and found it under the table. I emptied it, not only to ensure that nothing was missing, but also to check for cockroaches. I found none.

Mid-morning we took public transit downtown, where we boarded the Sky Train and travelled east to New Westminster. We were to meet Jean Sansum at a pre-arranged time and place. Jean very kindly gave us detailed directions so it was not difficult to find our way to the Quay. Having corresponded with Jean over the past ten years, but never having met her, I told her I would be wearing cardinal red slacks and a red cardigan. I thought the colours would be easily noticed in a crowd.

We spent one hour enjoying tea and conversation, after which Jean left to continue her preparation for moving. It was a pleasure to meet in person the one who so adeptly compiles the Tale Spinner and routinely places it on our computer for enjoyment each week. A great commitment.

Jean suggested we stroll along the boardwalk beside the Fraser River to enjoy the flowers before heading back to Vancouver. Here for the first time I saw fuchsia trained into standards, planted in outdoor flower beds. In Ontario, a fuchsia is seen in hanging baskets and must be brought indoors during winter, or admired indoors in public greenhouses. On my website, I have a page called "Ask Us" where people can pose gardening questions. For those interested, the site can be viewed at http://www.gardenserenity.com/. One of the most frequently-asked questions (from warmer climes) is how and when to prune a fuchsia tree or shrub. I´ve done research and studied the process in books but until now, had never seen a fuchsia tree or shrub. We also admired large brugmansia with their long drooping white or yellow trumpets, lantana, and abutilon (flowering maple.) These I grow in tubs in Ontario, but again they must be overwintered in the greenhouse. What a pleasure to see these specimens in a natural setting!

To be continued.

Carolyn Harris offers more information on park models:

WHAT YOU GET FOR THE MONEY

For $16,500 we bought a 1990 Fuqua park model in the pet section of Rincon Country West RV Resort in Tucson. The cat, Morris, even though he rarely moves anymore and you might sit on him, thinking he´s a raggedy yellow pillow, is still considered a pet.

The park model had a new roof, new shower, 8x20 Arizona room, covered carport, an 8x12 storage shed with a new washer and dryer, and some thrift store furniture. Rules require a structural inspection before sale as well as a current termite inspection. A lattice-enclosed back yard gives us privacy from rear neighbors and a place to BBQ.

When we bought our park model in January, 2005, it was rented for two months at $1600 per month, which brought the price even lower. Since we had our RV, we weren´t eager to have the renters move. Rentals are handled by the park and there are more renters than park models. Some winter months in Tucson, it´s impossible fo find even a hotel room. The country´s largest Gem and Mineral Show, a rodeo, a PGA golf tournament, and winter baseball keep the demand high.

Construction on RCW began in 1986; there´s an older Rincon Country East on the other side of town. Most park models in RCW are 1990 and up. Voyager, a larger, more expensive RV park, is south of Tucson. There are smaller, more economical parks scattered in and around Tucson.

Although there are several park model manufacturers, there´s just so much you can do with a limited space. Park models either have a front kitchen overlooking the street, or the living room is street side, the kitchen along one wall, dining table and buffet on the other. The bedroom is in the rear. Then, anything goes. Usually, the metal roof comes out to cover the Arizona room and the carport extends over the front part of the storage shed. Some have bump-out dining extensions. Most have vaulted ceilings.

Arizona rooms, required to be 65% window, usually have sheet-rocked or tiled ceilings. This minimum window requirement makes people creative. A newly-remodelled Arizona Room of a friend ran the whole length of the park model and a large walk-in closet was built to divide his and her space - blocking the window from the inside. Our Arizona room runs about 2/3 of the unit, leaving us a front porch. Some residents are now extending the Arizona room across the rear space, eliminating their storage shed and adding another room.

Local codes seem to require only enough space to park one vehicle.

We could have spent more for a completely remodelled unit, but we plan to spend several winters in Tucson, have remodelled a few homes and don´t mind the work. When the renters moved out, a contractor moved in and we headed for Imperial, California, for an RV rally, where I spoke on New Zealand travel. Then we headed home to the Cascade Mountains and unloaded our RV in an early April snowstorm. We chased the racoons from our bedroom closet, unplugged the backed-up septic tank, stuffed some clean clothes and a bewildered Morris into the car, and headed back to Tucson so Dave could have a knee replacement - a replacement of a replacement that didn´t go well the first time around.

While we were gone, the contractor misted off the popcorn ceiling, brought the level of the Arizona room up 2" so the floors were level (with a new knee replacement, you don´t need an uneven floor), rounded the sheet-rock corners, and textured the walls and ceilings. He also moved a sliding glass door from the front of the Arizona room so it opened to the enclosed back yard and put in two new windows. He removed a sagging overhead cabinet in the dining room - you don´t buy an older park model for the quality of the cabinets - and took out the carpet.

While Dave recovered from surgery, I painted and glazed the walls, painted the cabinets an off-white, and installed new hardware. When Dave was able to stand, he put up the new Venetian blinds -ten blinds took five days, but he made it. When we returned in November, we installed new light fixtures and a wood laminate floor.

In 2005, space rent was $3200 per year; in 2007, space rent is $3768. This includes water and garbage pickup. Electricity is metered and paid to the park. We have all electrical appliances. Existing electrical hook-ups are grandfathered in. New ranges and dryers must be propane. Cable is billed monthly. We have a satellite TV system and just take our receiver with us. There was no charge for installation of the second satellite if we agreed to keep the service for another year. We hooked up a land line for our phone. Quest doesn´t charge for putting a line on vacation. Insurance through AARP runs $182. Property taxes are $234.

Park models, both new and used, are inexpensive. Like an RV or a sailboat, you don´t expect to make a profit. We updated ours for what we needed - not with the idea of making money. We plan to live in Arizona from November to April each year. Our motor home is old - and so are we. We need something easy. When the weather turns ugly, we´ll load up the car, wake up the cat, and head south. The price is right for us.

Carolyn is the author of: "RV in NZ: How to Spend Your Winters South - Way South in New Zealand"; her travel blog is http://www.rvinnz.com

Gerrit de Leeuw sends this timely

CANADIAN POEM

It´s winter in Canada
And the gentle breezes blow
Seventy miles an hour
At twenty-nine below.

Oh, how I love Canada
When the snow´s up to your butt ;
You take a breath of winter
And your nose gets frozen shut.

Yes, the weather here is wonderful
So I guess I´ll hang around.
I could never leave Canada
´Cause I´m frozen to the ground!

Kate Brookfield says she doesn´t know how authentic these "facts" are, but they´re fun to contemplate. The human body is a machine that is full of wonder. This collection of human body facts will leave you wondering why in the heck we were designed the way we were.

THE HUMAN BODY

- Scientists say the higher your I.Q., the more you dream.

- The largest cell in the human body is the female egg and the smallest is the male sperm.

- You use 200 muscles to take one step.

- The average woman is five inches shorter than the average man.

- Your big toes have two bones each while the rest have three.

- A pair of human feet contains 250,000 sweat glands.

- A full bladder is roughly the size of a soft ball.

- The acid in your stomach is strong enough to dissolve razor blades.

- The human brain cell can hold five times as much information as the Encyclopedia Britannica.

- It takes the food seven seconds to get from your mouth to your stomach.

- The average human dream lasts 2-3 seconds.

- Men without hair on their chests are more likely to get cirrhosis of the liver than men with hair.

- At the moment of conception, you spent about half an hour as a single cell.

- There is about one trillion bacteria on each of your feet.

- Your body gives off enough heat in 30 minutes to bring half a gallon of water to a boil.

- The enamel in your teeth is the hardest substance in your body.

- Your teeth start growing six months before you are born

- When you are looking at someone you love, your pupils dilate, and they do the same when you are looking at someone you hate.

- Your thumb is the same length of your nose.

At this very moment I know full well you are putting this last fact to the test. Now remove your thumb from your nose and pass this on to the friends you think might be interested in comparing their thumbs to their noses as well.

Don Henderson forwards this story about

MENOPAUSE JEWELLERY

My husband, being unhappy with my mood swings, bought me a mood ring the other day so he would be able to monitor my moods.

We´ve discovered that when I´m in a good mood, it turns green, and when I´m in a bad mood, it leaves a big friggin´ red mark on his forehead.

Maybe next time he´ll buy me a diamond.

Zvonko Springer sends this one about

PEST CONTROL

A woman was having a passionate affair with an inspector from a pest- control company. One afternoon they were carrying on in the bedroom when her husband arrived home unexpectedly.

"Quick," said the woman to the lover, "into the closet!" and she pushed him into the closet, stark naked.

The husband, however, became suspicious and after a search of the bedroom discovered the man in the closet. "Who are you?" he asked him.

"I´m an inspector from Bugs-B-Gone," said the exterminator.

"What are you doing in there?" the husband asked.

"I´m investigating a complaint about an infestation of moths," the man replied.

"And where are your clothes?" asked the husband.

The man looked down at himself and said, "Those little bastards!"

Jack Peaker sends this explanation of

WHY WE SPLIT UP

She told me we couldn´t afford beer anymore and I´d have to quit.

Then I caught her spending:
$65.00 on make-up,
$150 for a cut & color,
$30 for a manicure,
$40 for a pedicure,
$50 on vitamins,
$300 on clothes
and $600 for a gym membership.

I asked how come I had to give up stuff and not her. She said she needed it to look pretty for me.

I told her that was what the beer was for.

I don´t think she´s coming back.

SUGGESTED WEBSITES

Don Henderson suggests this site to see how much you know about Canada:

http://www.joe-ks.com/archives_jul2004/Canada_Quiz.htm

Jack Peaker forwards the url for a challenging test of your knowledge:

http://www.cbc.ca/testthenation/

Marco de Muinck sends this URL for the popular juke box site, which we have had before but may have misplaced: http://www.tropicalglen.com/

If you are concerned about the future of medicare, you can write to your Member of Parliament here:

http://yourmedicarerights.ca/action/defendmedicare

Freedom of the press is guaranteed only to those who own one. - A. J. Liebling