Home  >> Stories  >> The Tale Spinner #2016-02

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IN THIS ISSUE

• From Heroic Stories, here is an account of the greatest gift
• Has technology made us indifferent to the pain of others?
• Don Henderson lists all the things his mother taught him
• This advice for office workers can be adapted for seniors
• Smiles are infectious, and better than flu bugs
• Doris Dignard explains why men act the way they do
• Researchers are studying a closed system on Isle Royale
• Tom Telfer forwards a number of mixed metaphors
• Sites are suggested by Barbara Wear, Catherine Nesbitt, Irene Harvalias, Judith English, Tom Telfer, and Tony Lewis

This story is by Donna Miller of Texas as told to HeroicStories:

THE GREATER GIFT CAME LATER

My husband was seriously injured at work in August 2002. He was unable work for about six months. Much of his income is from overtime and his disability pay did not equal even 25 percent of the income we count on. We have five children and this was a massive loss of income for our family. It became necessary for me to work a second full-time job. Most days I went to my teaching job at 7:00 a.m., went to my second job as a cashier at a local retail store at 4:00 p.m., and dragged myself home around midnight, knowing I had to do the same thing the next day.

I still had to do lesson planning and somehow squeeze in family time. I worked seven days a week, and was rarely home. My youngest child, seven years old at the time, missed me so much that he started carrying a picture of me to school in his pocket.

Until then, I´d been very active in my church. But I became too busy for most of my church life and missed many meetings. Word spread about our situation, and I received many calls with words of encouragement and emotional support from fellow church members.

On New Year´s Eve I was working at the store. When I took a break, I saw my husband walking toward me with an odd look on his face. I asked what was wrong. He handed me an envelope, saying "I found this in our mailbox."

The envelope was fully addressed but there was no stamp or return address. Inside was a note: "From our family to yours, we share with you our good fortune and pray for your family´s health and financial well being in the coming year." Then my husband handed me another sheet of paper, folded in half. I unfolded the paper to see 10 crisp, brand-new 100-dollar bills.

To say the least, I was shocked, and also very humbled. Who cared so much about us they would give us a thousand dollars? Our families live 1,300 miles away so I knew it wasn´t a relative. But who?

For a while I wondered who gave us that amazing gift. My curiosity almost became an obsession. Then one day I realized we´re not supposed to know. The giver - or givers - purposely didn´t tell us. It was a true act of selfless giving with no chance of public acknowledgment.

That note is now laminated and framed. I try to repeat that anonymous act of kindness and caring as often as possible, even if on a smaller scale. Although I cannot afford to give someone that much money, I´ve often given someone in need $20, $50, or $100.

We received the cash gift when we needed money badly, but the greater gift came later. We saw the true meaning of selfless giving, and have made a point of doing the same ever since.

ED. NOTE: To comment on this story, or to get your own free subscription, click on

Has technology made us indifferent to the tragedies of others?

WORTH THINKING ABOUT: COMPASSION FATIGUE

John Naisbitt and his coauthors on "High Tech - High Touch: Technology and Our Search for Meaning" write: "In a culture of electronic violence, images that once caused us to empathize with the pain and trauma of another human being excite a momentary adrenaline rush.

"To be numb to another´s pain - to be acculturated to violence - is arguably one of the worst consequences our technological advances have wrought. That indifference transfers from the screen, TV, film, Internet, and electronic games to our everyday lives through seemingly innocuous consumer technologies.

"Sissela Bok, in her important book ´Mayhem,´ calls it ´compassion fatigue.´ ´Empathy and fellow feeling,´ Bok points out, ´form the very basis of morality. The capacities for empathy, for feeling responsibility toward others, and for reaching out to help them can be stunted or undermined early on, depending on a child´s experiences in the home and neighbourhood.´

"It becomes too easy to turn our backs on fellow human beings. Technology, we are learning, is not neutral."

ED. NOTE: On the other hand, computers bring us stories we would never hear if we had only newspapers. For instance, the story of Wendy Fuller that was brought to our notice by Kate Brookfield, would never have attracted the attention it received if it had been confined to the Guelph Mercury. And many people have benefitted from GoFundMe, which has raised over $1 billion for crowdfunding and fundraising sites for personal causes. Not all of us are so jaded by violence and bad news that we have lost our ability to empathize with the pain of others.

Don Henderson lists all the

THINGS MY MOTHER TAUGHT ME

1. My mother taught me to appreciate a job well done: "If you´re going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me religion: "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about time travel: "If you don´t straighten up, I´m going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me logic: " Because I said so, that´s why."

5. My mother taught me more logic: "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you´re not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me foresight: "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you´re in an accident."

7. My mother taught me irony: "Keep crying, and I´ll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of osmosis: "Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about contortionism: "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about stamina: "You´ll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about weather: "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about hypocricy: "If I told you once, I´ve told you a million times. Don´t exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the circle of life: "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about behaviour modification: "Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about envy: "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don´t have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about anticipation: "Just wait until we get home!"

17. My mother taught me about receiving: "You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me medical science: "If you don´t stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP: "Put your sweater on; don´t you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me humour: "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don´t come running to me."

21. My mother taught me how to become an adult: "If you don´t eat your vegetables, you´ll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me genetics: "You´re just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my roots: "Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me wisdom: "When you get to be my age, you´ll understand."

25. And my favourite: - My mother taught me about justice: "One day you´ll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you."

KEEP MOVING

Moving more during the workday keeps office workers healthier, both physically and mentally. Researchers at the School of Science at Indiana University-Purdue University in Indianapolis, Indiana, found that study subjects who used walking workstations (similar to a treadmill) were more productive. As most offices can´t incorporate these fancy workstations, the researchers provided some practical suggestions for staying active. These include the following: use the stairs, or take the elevator to a floor 10 stories below your stop; leave your lunch in the car and walk out to retrieve it; schedule walking meetings instead of sitting and talking in an office.

The challenge is to translate these findings into things beneficial to seniors. One way my friend Maggie and I have found is to go to the local mall and walk from one end to the other and back. If I get tired before Maggie does, there are always benches to rest on. Maggie is much younger than I, and walks about four miles a day already. She humours me by sitting a while. We always end up at the food garden, where we have a light lunch and discuss the news of the world or our personal lives. The solution is to find someone who enjoys the same things that you do, and to get in some exercise while you are at it.

A SMILE FOR YOU

Smiling is infectious; you catch it like the flu.
When someone smiled at me today, I started smiling too.
I passed around the corner and someone saw my grin.
When he smiled, I realized I´d passed it on to him.
I thought about that smile, then I realized its worth:
A single smile just like mine could travel round the earth.
So if you feel a smile begin, don´t leave it undetected.
Let´s start an epidemic quick, and get the world infected.

Keep the smile going by sending this on to a friend. Everyone needs a smile!

Doris Dignard posted these reasons for unreasonable behaviour:

BECAUSE I´M A MAN

Because I´m a man, when I lock my keys in the car I will fiddle with a wire long after hypothermia has set in.

Because I´m a man, when the car isn´t running very well, I will pop the hood and stare at the engine as if I know what I´m looking at. If another man shows up, one of us will say to the other, "I used to be able to fix these things, but now with all these computers and everything, I wouldn´t know where to start." We will then drink beer.

Because I´m a man, when I catch a cold, I need someone to bring me soup and take care of me while I lie in bed and moan. You´re a woman. You never get as sick as I do, so for you this isn´t a problem.

Because I´m a man, I can be relied upon to purchase basic groceries at the store, like milk or bread. I cannot be expected to find exotic items like "cumin" or "tofu." For all I know, these are the same thing. And never, under any circumstances, expect me to pick up anything for which "feminine hygiene product" is a euphemism.

Because I´m a man, when one of our appliances stops working, I will insist on taking it apart, despite evidence that this will just cost me twice as much once the repair person gets here and has to put it back together.

Because I´m a man, I must hold the television remote control in my hand while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I may miss a whole show looking for it (although one time I was able to survive by holding a calculator).

Because I´m a man, I don´t think we´re all that lost, and no, I don´t think we should stop and ask someone. Why would you listen to a complete stranger? I mean, how could he know where we´re going?

Because I´m a man, there is no need to ask me what I´m thinking about. The answer is always either sex, cars, beer, or football. I have to make up something else when you ask, so don´t ask.

Because I´m a man, I do not want to visit your mother, or have your mother come visit us, or talk to her when she calls, or think about her any more than I have to. Whatever you got her for Christmas is okay; I don´t need to see it. And don´t forget to pick up something for my mother, too.

Because I´m a man, you don´t have to ask me if I liked the movie. Chances are, if you´re crying at the end of it, I didn´t.

Because I´m a man, I think what you´re wearing is fine. I thought what you were wearing five minutes ago was fine, too. Either pair of shoes is fine. With the belt or without it looks fine. Your hair is fine. You look fine. Can we just go now?

Because I´m a man, and this is, after all, the year 2016, I will share equally in the housework. You just do the laundry, the cooking, the gardening, the cleaning, the vacuuming, and the dishes, and I´ll do the rest.

ED. NOTE: This has been a public service message for women to better understand the male.

WOLVES AND MOOSE OF ISLE ROYALE

Isle Royale is a remote wilderness island, isolated by the frigid waters of Lake Superior, and home to populations of wolves and moose. As predator and prey, their lives and deaths are linked in a drama that is timeless and historic. Their lives are historic because we have been documenting their lives for more than five decades. This research project is the longest continuous study of any predator-prey system in the world.

To read about this project, there is a long but very interesting article on it here:

Tom Telfer sends these gems from a book by Richard Lederer, "Anguished English":

THE BEST OF MIXED-UP METAPHORS

I wouldn´t be caught dead in that movie with a ten-foot pole.

The sacred cows have come home to roost with a vengeance.

Milwaukee is the golden egg that the rest of the state wants to milk.

She´ll get it by hook or ladder.

The bankers´ pockets are bulging with the sweat of the honest working man.

That´s a very hard blow to swallow.

These hemorrhoids are a real pain in the neck.

The slowdown is accelerating.

That snake in the grass is barking up the wrong tree.

When we get to that bridge, we´ll jump.

Don´t sit there like a sore thumb.

Everyone whose ox has been gored is going to be squealing.

It´s time to swallow the bullet.

It´s time to grab the bull by the tail and look it in the eye.

The budget deficit is an albatross we carry on our back.

The sword of Damocles is hanging over Pandora´s Box.

It´s as easy as falling off a piece of cake.

I was so surprised you could have knocked me over with a fender.

Let dead dogs sleep.

Stop beating a dead horse to death.

Regret to inform you that the hand that rocked the cradle has kicked the bucket.

From now on, I´m watching everything you do with a fine-tuned comb.

That guy´s out to butter his own nest.

I would not have gone in there over my dead body.

Many cities and towns have community gardening programs that need a little more help to get off the ground.

He threw a wet towel on the meeting.

We´ve got to be careful about getting too many cooks into this soup, or somebody´s going to think there´s dirty work behind the crossroads.

We both had crewcuts, which made our ears stick out like sore thumbs.

In our school, freshmen are on the lowest rungs of the totem pole.

He´s between a rock and the deep blue sea.

Let´s hope that Steve Carlton gets his curve ball straightened out.

Let us nip this political monkey in the bud before it sticks to us like a leech.

He was a very astute politician with both ears glued to the ground.

I do hope that you don´t think I´ve been making a mountain out of a mole hill, but that´s the whole kettle of fish in a nutshell.

SUGGESTED WEBSITES

Barbara Wear sends this link to surreal photos of crashing waves on Lake Erie:

Catherine Nesbitt shares a poem by John O´Donohue, "Beannacht - a Blessing for the New Year:"

Catherine also sends the URL for a video of Stephen Fry´s welcome to Britain for arriving passengers at Heathrow:

Irene Harvalias sends this link to an amazing video of an eagle attacking a mountain goat:

Judith English shares the URL for a series of pictures of a cute little owl called Poldi whose protector is a German shepherd called Ingo:

Judith also sends this link to a video of an 11-year-old South African girl reciting her own poetry at a South African talent show:

Tom Telfer suggests this site for 18 ideas that have been developed in other countries to help their citizens have better and healthier lives, which should become common everywhere:

Tony Lewis reminds us of the importance of knowing how to get up after one has fallen:

This video features Lindsey Stirling with her violin and a troupe of dancers in a unique performance called Master of Tides:

In this Canadian Press video, Muslim leaders say they see a deliberately-set fire at a Peterborough, Ontario, mosque as an isolated incident. The mosque´s imam, Shazim Khan, says the fire is a setback, but adds it "shouldn´t change" views of the community:

Climate scientist Alan Robock claims that global warming theory is based on solid evidence:

To check out the features of the "freedictionary", which changes daily, go to