Home  >> Stories  >> The Tale Spinner #2017-29

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IN THIS ISSUE

• Kate Brookfield describes their last days in Italy
• Barbara Wear suggests ways to relieve stress
• Here are some actual answers to musical questions
• Shirley Conlon illustrates that British humour is different
• Catherine Nesbitt shares some idle thoughtsz
• Sites are suggested by Barbara Wear, Carol Hansen, Marilyn Magid, and Tom Telfer

Kate Brookfield writes about their visits to

VILLA MONASTERO AND VILLA MELZI

Our visit to Villa Carlotta was our last day without rain lashing down. Not the best weather for visiting gardens. We had planned to go to Lake Maggiori to visit the island palace and gardens of Isola Bella, which means beautiful island. But it was quite a distance involving two ferry rides, and the relentless rain with no chance of it stopping, we decided to leave a visit there for another time. But for people exploring the Lake Como area it is well worth adding it to a list of places to see.

Instead we drove to the little town of Varenna and visited the Villa Monastero in that ancient and historic village.

The site of the villa is a beautiful location at the foot of a steep mountain. Today, the building is a conference centre with gardens open to the public, and the house is a museum all managed by the Province of Lecco. The building dates back to the 12th century and was originally a Cistercian convent. Remnants of the convent buildings lie beneath the modern building. The convent at one time was very important in the region and grew in size and wealth, owning many properties in the region. Over time it declined, and it was closed by the church in 1567. A lecture room used by the conference centre is actually the original church of the convent. It is now named Fermi Hall after the Nobel Prize winner for Physics, Enrico Fermi, who gave his last public lecture here.

I can imagine that this beautiful location was coveted by the up-and-coming rich Italians, so the nuns were displaced and the whole estate was purchased by a wealthy family who rebuilt the villa in lavish style. In 1890 it was sold again and the new owner, Walter Kees, modernized the house, introducing electricity, central heating, bathrooms, all lavish in style. It became a popular place for celebrities to visit.

The gardens were also expanded at this time with themes of light and shadow, and a deep ravine with waterfalls from the steep mountain side. The villa was sold again to the De Marchi family from Milan, who in 1936 donated the villa to the public and it became a museum. In 1940 the gardens were opened to the public, and in 1953 it became a conference centre. The link below gives photos of the villa and gardens. You will see why it was a suitable choice for a wet day. http://www.villamonastero.eu/index.php/en/

The following day, the rain was worse. Not only could we no longer see the tops of the mountains, we could not see across the Lake. But we had come to see Italian gardens in springtime, so we braved the weather and took the ferry again to Bellagio to visit the Villa Melzi described by some tourist adverts as the pearl of Lake Como.

Our last day in Italy was not good for me. It started off with my shoes taking in water. As I have a problem foot with a bunion and the adjacent toe with a corn and is prone to blister, there was no way I could walk around with wet feet. We were directed up a huge flight of stone steps to the shopping area in Bellagio where we found the most amazing shoe shop. The assistant told me that she could not sell me anything like the shoes I was wearing (they were high quality shoes ) as they do not sell shoes that have any synthetic fabric. For the first time in my memory, I bought a pair of shoes in less than half an hour. I walked out of the shop wearing them with no pinching. I have never had such a comfortable shoe and my feet stayed dry all day.

I wish I could say the same for the travel bag that I bought at CAA, guaranteed to be thief proof, but certainly not waterproof. At the end of the day, everything in my bag was soaking wet. When I got home, all my receipts had turned to pulp. Now I know why we have plastic cards! I am also happy that I had LifeProof cases for IPhone and iPad or those electronic devices would have been ruined. I contacted the company who produces these expensive travel bags and was told they are "thinking about making a waterproof back pack, but not a travel purse."

After purchasing the shoes, we made our way down the steep steps to the Villa Melzi on the lake. Melzi was Vice President of the Italian Republic set up by Napoleon. The 19th century house is on the opposite side of the lake to Villa Carlotta. Although it was very wet and we could not enjoy the traditional views of blue sky and sunshine, we did have a short time when the rain stopped and we could see the gardens of Carlotto across the lake.

It was really a day for the ducks!

For photos of Villa Melzi, click on this page from my travel diary: http://tinyurl.com/y97wrurr

This was our last day in Italy. That night I spent the night in the bathroom, throwing up, and we had to get going to catch the plane from Milan to Luton, UK. We were travelling in the rush hour, so Mike took off the main highway and got completely lost in the Milan suburbs with no signs to the airport. It was a nightmare, but we did find a pharmacy open for me to get some medics to stop vomiting and diarrhea! We finally made the airport with about half an hour before our plane left. I must praise Easy Jet and Milan airport staff for their help in getting us through customs and to the departure lounge in record time. So ends our Italian holiday 2017.

The next few days were spent in Devon and Cornwall before our return to Canada in early May, in time to see my own garden in flower.

Barbara Wear forwards these suggestions:

RELIEVE STESS WITH PHYSICAL ACTIVITY

You may feel restless and wound up with a lot of nervous energy today. You could feel overwhelmed with correspondence and appointments, or be struggling to complete a large workload. A great way to release your stress is through physical activity.

You might consider taking short breaks, a brisk walk outside, or engaging in more lengthy activities during your lunch hour. You could also try doing brief exercises indoors, such as gentle stretches or calisthenics. Once you´ve burned off some tension, you may want to take a few moments to foster a peaceful state of mind. This will allow you to deal with stress more efficiently during the rest of your day.

Releasing our stress in healthy ways makes us feel strong and centered, regardless of our outside circumstances. Stress only becomes overwhelming when we allow it to build up in our bodies and minds. If we can learn to release our stress in measured doses through the course of our day, we feel better able to handle new stressors as they come our way. When we are calm and relaxed, we feel empowered and confident that we can handle anything.

This belief can help us stay grounded and focused, which will have a positive effect on all of our activities. Make an effort to release your stress frequently today, and you will develop the strength, stamina, and stability to handle nearly any challenge.

ACTUAL ANSWERS FROM STUDENTS ON MUSICAL EXAMS

The principal singer of nineteenth century opera was called pre-Madonna.

It is easy to teach anyone to play the maracas. Just grip the neck and shake him in rhythm.

Gregorian chant has no music, just singers singing the same lines.

Sherbet composed the Unfinished Symphony.

All female parts were sung by castrati. We don´t know exactly what they sounded like because there are no known descendants.

Young scholars have expressed their rapture for the Bronze Lullaby, the Taco Bell Cannon, Beethoven´s Erotica, Tchaikovsky Cracknutter Suite, and Gershwin´s Rap City in Blue.

Music sung by two people at the same time is called a duel; if they sing without music it is called Acapulco.

A virtuoso is a musician with real high morals.

Contralto is a low sort of music that only ladies sing.

Diatonic is a low calorie Schweppes.

Probably the most marvelous fugue was the one between the Hatfields and the McCoys.

A harp is a nude piano.

The main trouble with a French Horn is that it is too tangled up.

An interval in music is the distance from one piano to the next.

The correct way to find the key to a piece of music is to use a pitchfork.

Agitato is a state of mind when one´s finger slips in the middle of playing a piece.

Refrain means don´t do it. A refrain in music is the part you´d better not try to sing.

I know what a sextet is but I´d rather not say.

Most authorities agree that music of antiquity was written long ago.

My favorite composer was Opus.

Agnus Dei was a woman composer famous for her church music.

Henry Purcell was a well-known composer few people have ever heard of.

Johann Sebastian Bach wrote a great many musical compositions and had a large number of children. In between he practiced on an old spinster which he kept up in his attic.

Rock Monanoff was a famous post-romantic composer of piano concerti.

Shirley Conlon declares that

BRITISH HUMOUR IS DIFFERENT

These are classified ads which were actually placed in UK newspapers:

FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER
8 Years old.
Hateful little bastard.
Bites!

FREE PUPPIES
1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbour's dog

FREE PUPPIES
Mother is a Kennel Club registered German Shepherd.
Father is a super dog, able to leap tall fences in a single bound.

COWS, CALVES, NEVER BRED
Also 1 gay bull for sale.

JOINING NUDIST COLONY
must sell washer and dryer, 100 pounds

WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE
Worn once by mistake.
Call Stephanie

FOR SALE BY OWNER
Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica, 45 volumes.
Excellent condition, 200 pounds or best offer.
No longer needed. Got married, wife knows everything.

Catherine Nesbitt shares these

IDLE THOUGHTS

I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don´t know what to feed it.

I had amnesia once - or twice.

I went to San Francisco. I found someone´s heart. Now what?

Protons have mass? I didn´t even know they were Catholic.

All I ask is a chance to prove that money can´t make me happy.

If the world were a logical place, men would be the ones who ride side saddle.

What is a "free" gift? Aren´t all gifts free?

Someone told me I was gullible and I believed them.

Teach a child to be polite and courteous, and when he grows up, he´ll never be able to merge his car onto the freeway.

Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is gone.

One nice thing about egotists: they don´t talk about other people.

My weight is perfect for my height - which varies.

I used to be indecisive. Now I´m not sure.

The high cost of living hasn´t affected its popularity.

How can there be self-help "groups"?

If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?

Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground, and I´ll show you a man who can´t get his pants off.

Is it just me - or do buffalo wings really taste like chicken?

SUGGESTED WEBSITES

Barbara Wear forwards this link to an amazing drum show from the Royal Edinburgh Military Tattoo:

Carol Hansen sends this link to a site showing photos of beautiful trees and forests from around the world:

Marilyn Magid forwards the URL for a video of a smart parrot figuring out puzzles for a treat:

Marilyn also sends an article about the perfect books to read as an antidote to the grim headlines we read every day:

Tom Telfer forwards this link to a video of a blind man astonishing Penn & Teller:

Tom also sends the URL for a video of Darcy Oake´s dove illusions in Britain´s Got Talent:

The NAFTA treaty is coming up for renegotiations in less than a month, and to tell Trudeau to stand up to Trump and protect jobs, farmers, the environment, and our democracy, go to this site:

In this TED talk, Penny Lewis talks about improving your life by manipulating your sleep:

This site warns you about the 25 most common internet scams:

A state in India has turned 1600 tons of plastic trash into 620 miles of road: