Home  >> Stories  >> The Tale Spinner #2018-33

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IN THIS ISSUE

• In this Heroic Story, people offer help to hurricane survivors
• Catherine Nesbitt forwards some awful groaners
• Irene Harvalias tells of an unusual pickup line
• Rafiki shares some truisms that Confucius did not say
• Marilyn Magid forwards a pithy saying on a Seattle chalkboard
• The editor asks if you have received any junk mail recently
• Sites are suggested by Barbara Wear and Carol Shoemaker

Teresa Coffman of Nevada writes about the nature of kindness:

PLEASE LET US HELP!

When Hurricane Katrina hit the Louisiana coast twice on August 29, 2005, I, like many worldwide, was glued to news of the horrific devastation. As I watched, my heart went out to ordinary people losing *everything* in the storm. Where would they go? What would they do? How could they rebuild their lives?

I wondered, what if it had been me instead? What if disaster had struck my area? How would I, my friends and family, cope? As I saw families separated by rescue efforts, my heart went out to them. Could I help?

Searching online, I found MoveOn.org had created "HurricaneHousing.org" - to match displaced Katrina victims with families offering housing. Thousands upon thousands of people from around the USA were offering to take in Katrina survivors!

Clicking on "Housing Offered," I read (entries condensed): "PLEASE LET US HELP. Housing for two. Extra bedroom, our children grown. Couple, single parent or two H.S. seniors worried about graduating. (Have hosted exchange students.) We smoke, have cats."

And: "Housing for two children in my apartment. Will enroll in school with grandson, 12, who lives with me. My son will assist in transportation, caregiving. Grandson will help make them welcome until their families located. Plan temporary, but if permanent needed, would look at."

By now I was crying, but kept reading: "Family of three will host family of two to four. Two furnished bedrooms on second story, no charge. Great place for fresh start, many jobs. Walking distance to three schools, all grades, mall, grocery, two parks. Have three dogs; all pets welcome except cats ... son´s allergic. Fenced backyard with pool, trampoline. Require signed release of responsibility in case of injury. Questions welcome. Please call, we´d love to have you here!"

"Housing for four in working-class family. If you want to relocate, my wife and I will help you as long as it takes. Person working in trades great, I could put them to work immediately. Will help someone who´ll help themselves. It´s a long way from home, but we´ll figure out how to get you here, if we need to drive down or pay your air fare."

"Housing for three. My wife and I offer all amenities. As parent of three grown children, my heart grieves seeing small children homeless in New Orleans. Prefer single mother with one or two children. Will help get kindergarten, work.... inter-racial couple so race no issue."

"Housing for six. Three-bedroom, two-bath home, quiet cul-de-sac. No furniture, will furnish for family. Nice yards. I´m owner, it´s empty, will bless a family with three months free housing."

This is who we humans truly are. People who make offers like: "Air fare for four." "Grandson will help children adjust." "Furniture for family of six." We should be proud, that we´re compassionate enough to create a website like HurricaneHousing.org.

And I´m relieved. For I know if disaster strikes my area, similar websites will arise, and our fellow humans will reach out to offer us everything we need to begin anew.

E-mail subscriptions to HeroicStories are free. Sign up here: HeroicStories.org.

Catherine Nesbitt sends these

GROANERS

1. The meaning of opaque is unclear.

2. I wasn´t going to get a brain transplant but then I changed my mind.

3. Have you ever tried to eat a clock? It´s very time consuming.

4. A man tried to assault me with milk, cream and butter. How dairy!

5. I´m reading a book about anti-gravity. I can´t put it down.

6. If there was someone selling marijuana in our neighbourhood, weed know about it.

7. It´s a lengthy article about ancient Japanese sword fighters but I can Sumurais it for you.

8. It´s not that the man couldn´t juggle, he just didn´t have the balls to do it.

9. So what if I don´t know the meaning of the word "apocalypse"? It´s not the end of the world.

10. Police were called to the daycare centre. A three-year old was resisting a rest.

11. The other day I held the door open for a clown. I thought it was a nice jester.

12.. Need an ark to save two of every animal? I Noah guy.

13. Alternative facts are aversion of the truth.

14. I used to have a fear of hurdles, but I got over it.

15. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

16. Did you know they won´t be making yardsticks any longer?

17. I used to be allergic to soap but I´m clean now.

18. The patron saint of poverty is St. Nickeless.

19. What did the man say when the bridge fell on him? The suspension is killing me.

20. Do you have weight loss mantras? Fat chants!

21. My tailor is happy to make a new pair of pants for me. Or sew it seams.

22. What is a thesaurus´s favourite dessert? Synonym buns....

23. A relief map shows where the restrooms are.

24. There was a big paddle sale at the boat store. It was quite an oar deal.

25. How do they figure out the price of hammers? Per pound.

Irene Harvalias forwards this

SENIOR PICKUP LINE

An elderly gentleman walks into an upscale cocktail lounge. He is in his mid-seventies, very well dressed, hair well-groomed, great-looking suit, hankie in his lapel, and smelling slightly of an expensive aftershave. He presents a very nice image.

Seated at the bar is a classy-looking lady in her mid-seventies.

The sharp old gentleman walks over and sits alongside her. He orders a drink and takes a sip.

He slowly turns to the lady and says: "So, tell me … do I come here often?"

Rafiki sends these truisms which

CONFUCIUS DID NOT SAY

Man who wants pretty nurse must be patient.

Lady who goes camping with man must beware of evil intent.

Man who leaps off cliff jumps to conclusion.

Man who runs in front of car gets tired, but man who runs behind car gets exhausted.

Man who eats many prunes gets good run for money.

Man who drives like hell is bound to get there.

Man who stands on toilet is high on pot.

Wise man does not keep sledge hammer and slow computer in same room.

Man who lives in glass house should change clothes in basement.

There are old pilots and there are bold pilots, but, there are no old bold pilots.

And finally, Confucius did not say:

War does not determine who is right; it determines who is left.

Marilyn Magid forwards this sign on a Seattle chalkboard:

FROM THE EDITOR´S DESKTOP

Every day now I receive short e-mails from people I do not know which start with something chatty about not having seen me lately. Then they go on to say that they have exciting news for me - they have dropped a lot of weight using a wonderful product for which a URL is given. They suggest I should check it out, and say we must get together soon.

I get at least four of these a day, from both men and women, appearing, appropriately enough, in my junk mail. Have you received any of these posts, or am I alone in being selected, either because I should lose weight, or because some company has me on its mailing list? Please let me know - I would hate to be the only lucky one. ;)

SUGGESTED SITES

Barbara Wear forwards this link to videos of some of Disney´s most popular movies:

Barbara also shares this post on Facebook about one of her favourite foods:

Carol Shoemaker sends the URL for a Facebook site which shows a Tibetan proverb:

This restaurant in Australia gives free meals to the homeless every day instead of throwing leftover food into the bin:

In this TED talk, Joshua Klein explains how he taught crows to use vending machines:

Of the 18,000 baby penguins hatched in the Antarctic last winter, only two have survived. To urge the world to create a sanctuary there, click on

More good news, this time from Scotland. A cafe chain has been employing homeless people since its creation, and now has built a village for the homeless:

Greenpeace has made a short video of the effects of forests being destroyed to clear the way for palm oil production, which results in the destruction of the habitats of Indigenous Peoples and animals like the orang-utans:

Meredith Meinick of the Huffington Post writes about Denmark being judged the happiest country in the world, and the reasons why its citizens are so content: