Home  >> Stories  >> The Tale Spinner #2016-03

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IN THIS ISSUE

• Verda Cook sends a story about cats they have owned
• Geoff Goodship and Patti Wheeler write about empathy
• Rafiki shares a story of small acts of kindness
• Jay forwards children´s answers to science questions
• For grammar sticklers, be sure your complaints are correct
• Here are some of Bob Hope´s famous quotes
• The editor is delighted by kind wishes on her birthday
• Sites are suggested by Barbara Wear, Bruce Galway, Carol Hansen, Catherine Nesbitt, Irene Harvalias, and Judith English

Verda Cook has written a book about her and her husband´s 40 years of life on their three and a half acres in the country. From the book, here is a chapter on

THE UNUSUAL ANTICS OF CATS

Shortly after our move onto the country acreage we purchased, my Father insisted that a country property should include a cat. "A cat," he said, "is essential to keep the inevitable mouse population under control." I am not fond of cats and did not want a cat as a pet.

A few months after our move onto the property, the neighbouring farmer suggested we adopt one of his oversupply of kittens. My initial reaction was no. Cat´s belonged in a barn, but our two sons begged to have a kitten. On the understanding that this kitten would not live in the house, I relented. Our two sons were allowed to choose a kitten from a new litter at the neighbouring farm. This kitten (which became a cat), was quite independent.

For a number of years we had cats. I learned that cats had some qualities to them and could entertain us with humorous antics. After the death of the first cat, another replaced it from the neighbouring farm. This cat was a grey tabby with a habit of walking beside you, brushing up against your legs. This made walking difficult. It was not an independent animal, so I relented and allowed the cat to be in the house - overnight only.

Early one morning I was awakened to the sound of a "ping." I lay on my back listening and soon heard another "ping." It sounded like the piano. I went to our eight-year-old´s bedroom but found him fast asleep. Checking our five-year-old´s bedroom, he too was asleep. I crept downstairs very silently, not knowing who might be in our living room. I was afraid, yet ready to confront any intruder. Peering around the corner from the bottom of the stairs, I could see the piano. No one was near it. All the doors were locked and the cat was on the sofa watching me move about.

At breakfast I related this incident to the family, who thought I had been dreaming. Next morning I was awakened again by the sound of the "ping." It definitely was the sound of a piano key being touched. I listened as several different notes were played. Again, creeping downstairs, no one was around. The cat was curled up on the sofa.

This was repeated for the entire week. The family was beginning to think I had an overactive imagination. There seemed no explanation for the sound, and I was the only one who heard it. I began to believe the house was haunted. Someone from the past who loved music was entering our house but remained invisible.

Finally one evening, in desperation, I set the alarm clock for 5:30 the next morning. When I woke, I very slowly crept down the stairs, determined to find out who or what was playing the piano so early in the morning. As I moved stealthily from the bottom step towards a chair, in the grey dawn light I saw the cat move across the floor and leap up onto the piano bench. She sat there for a moment, then gingerly stretched her paw towards the keyboard. "Ping" - there was the sound I heard. The cat cocked her head as if listening to the sound. Then she tried another note, and another. As if satisfied with the sound, she jumped from the bench and again curled up on the sofa. Mystery solved!

At breakfast that morning, I related what I had discovered. My husband and two sons began to plot how they might be able to see the cat play piano, but after that morning I never again heard the "ping."

After this tabby cat´s death, another cat came to live with us. This cat was more independent and utilitarian. We were having some problems with mice in the basement. We allowed the cat to sleep there overnight. This cat had a fascination with baskets, but we were unaware of this.

We had an automatic washing machine but no dryer. I hung all wash outdoors, loving the fresh smell of the laundry when brought into the house. I stored the clothespins in a basket on a ledge beside the stairs leading to the basement. One night as we were watching television, we heard the sound of clothespins spilling. I ran to the basement door. The clothespin basket lay at the bottom of the stairs, clothespins scattered all the way down the steps and on the floor. I thought I must have set the basket too close to the edge of the shelf and it tumbled.

Several times over the next few weeks the basket tumbled, spilling its contents. Then one evening while helping our two sons with their homework, we heard the sound of the basket tumble on the stairs and the simultaneous yowl of a frightened cat. Running to the stairway, we saw the cat stuck under the handle of the basket at the bottom of the stairs.

The following summer, my husband was roofing the addition to the house. He leaned the extension ladder against the roof edge, then set a six-quart basket containing roofing nails on the roof. Our two sons were told not to climb the ladder and onto the roof. Obediently, they rode their bikes around the yard. My husband was on the roof, busily nailing shingles, and I was hanging wash on the clothesline.

Suddenly we heard my husband hollering. Somehow the cat managed to get up on the roof, and while my husband had his back turned, went to the basket containing the roofing nails. She climbed in, the basket tipped, and the cat, basket and nails went rolling down the roof, over the edge, and onto the grass. When the cat landed, she ran at lightning speed towards our shed and did not re-appear until the next day.

Cats can be entertaining, but I still prefer to have them outdoors, not indoors.

CORRESPONDENCE

Last week I wrote an editor´s note to the story that claimed the technology has had a deadening effect on our feelings of empathy for people in trouble: "On the other hand, computers bring us stories we would never hear if we had only newspapers. For instance, the story of Wendy Fuller that was brought to our notice by Kate Brookfield, would never have attracted the attention it received if it had been confined to the Guelph Mercury. And many people have benefitted from GoFundMe, which has raised over $1 billion for crowdfunding and fundraising sites for personal causes. Not all of us are so jaded by violence and bad news that we have lost our ability to empathize with the pain of others.

And Geoff Goodship adds: And what about some incredibly gory stories we´ve all read in books? Check out some of the gruesome stories in children´s literature of an earlier time.

Patti Rainbow Wheeler writes about the story mentioned above, for which she started a Fundraiser to raise money to pay Wendy Fuller´s back rent: Kate Brookfield told you about the lady I helped in Guelph. After dealing with all the different agencies, it is plain to see the system is broken! To read the whole story, click on http://tinyurl.com/jeyvty6

The bottom line is that Wendy now has her arrears paid, with a little left over to donate to the drop-in centre that housed her until my husband found her a room she could afford.

You can read all the updates I have posted at http://tinyurl.com/zejnn3y

Rafiki forwards this story of

COFFEE ON THE WALL

I sat with my friend in a well-known coffee shop in a neighbouring town of Venice (Italy), the city of lights and water. As we enjoyed our coffee, a man entered and sat at an empty table beside us. He called the waiter and placed his order, saying, "Two cups of coffee, one of them there on the wall."

We heard this order with interest and observed that he was served with one cup of coffee but he paid for two. As soon as he left, the waiter pasted a piece of paper on the wall saying, "A Cup of Coffee."

While we were still there, two other men entered and ordered three cups of coffee, two on the table and one on the wall.They had the two cups of coffee but paid for three and left. This time also, the waiter did the same - he pasted a piece of paper on the wall saying, "A Cup of Coffee." It was something unique and perplexing for us.

We finished our coffee, paid the bill and left.

After a few days, we had a chance to go to this coffee shop again.While we were enjoying our coffee, a poorly-dressed man entered. As he seated himself, he looked at the wall and said, "One cup of coffee from the wall."

The waiter served coffee to this man with the customary respect and dignity.The man had his coffee and left without paying.

We were amazed to watch all this, as the waiter took off a piece of paper from the wall and threw it in the dust bin.

Now it was no surprise for us - the matter was very clear. The great respect for the needy shown by the inhabitants of this town made our eyes well up in tears.

Ponder upon the need of what this man wanted... He entered the coffee shop without having to lower his self-esteem. He had no need to ask for a free cup of coffee, without asking or knowing about the one who was giving this cup of coffee to him. He only looked at the wall, placed an order for himself, enjoyed his coffee, and left.

Probably the most beautiful wall you may ever see anywhere!

Jay forwards too-good-to-be-true

CHILDREN´S ANSWERS TO SCIENCE EXAM QUESTIONS

Q: Name the four seasons.
A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.

Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.

Q: How is dew formed?
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.

Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?
A: Keep it in the cow.

Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?
A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature hates a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.

Q: What are steroids?
A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.

Q: What happens to your body as you age?
A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.

Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.

Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
A: Premature death.

Q: What is artificial insemination?
A: When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow.

Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? (e.g., abdomen.)
A: The body is consisted into three parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels, A, E, I, O and U.

Q: What is the fibula?
A: A small lie.

Q: What does "varicose" mean?
A: Nearby.

Q: Give the meaning of the term "Caesarean Section."
A: The Caesarean Section is a district in Rome.

Q: What does the word "benign" mean?
A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.

From GrammarBook.com comes this warning to sticklers:

BE SURE YOU ARE CORRECT BEFORE YOU CRY FOUL

• One correspondent admonished us to replace "over" with "more than" in sentences like "the package weighs over ten pounds." This myth has been around a long time, but few if any language scholars take it seriously. In an article titled "Non-Errors" the eminent grammarian Paul Brians says, "´Over´ has been used in the sense of ´more than´ for over a thousand years."

• When we wrote "formulas," a reader said that the correct plural is formulae, and those who write "formulas" are "the same lazy folk who would use ´octopuses´ rather than ´octopi.´ Please, don´t be lazy."

  While it is true that formulae is preferred in scientific contexts, formulas is most writers´ choice in other applications. The Associated Press Stylebook does not even acknowledge formulae. As for octopi, it is listed in most dictionaries, but that does not make it correct. In his book What in the Word? Charles Harrington Elster states that octopuses is the right choice: "Because octopus comes from Greek, not Latin, the Latinate variant octopi is inappropriate and is frowned upon by usage authorities."

• But the biggest tiff of 2015 was over the use of "that" in sentences like "She is a woman that likes to laugh." There is nothing grammatically wrong with a woman that likes.

  Oh, but try telling that to all the readers who wrote in insisting that "that" must never be used to refer to humans. In 2014 we ran two articles which we hoped would put this dreary matter to rest forever. We´ll say it again: The pronoun "that" applies to humans as well as nonhumans. You may not care for how it sounds. You may not like how it is used nowadays. But rules of grammar transcend our personal preferences.

  Most of the correspondence on this topic included some variation on "this is how I was taught." Well, maybe so, but as the years pass, sometimes the memory plays tricks. And teachers are not infallible. Even the best ones harbor their own opinions, biases, and delusions, which might slip out in the classroom and be taken as fact by a callow student.

  Too many of us cling to cherished misconceptions out of loyalty, sentiment, nostalgia - or sheer force of habit. If Albert Einstein´s theory of relativity were disproved tomorrow, would any reputable scientist disregard the overwhelming evidence because of his allegiance to Einstein?

TIGER TOOTHACHE

People are not the only ones to develop problems with their teeth. Tigers have problems too, but the don´t usually get the chance to have them fixed by a dentist.

One tiger named Amir, who lives at Howletts´ Wild Animal Park near Canterbury in Kent, UK, is one of the lucky ones. He managed to get an appointment with a dental surgeon to get three front teeth repaired. Before surgeon Peter Kertesz could do his work, Amir had to be sedated, then transferred to the animal hospital at the park. The procedure on the nine-year-old tiger was a success, and Amir was able to return to his meaty menu.

For those of us who remember him fondly, here are some quotes from

BOB HOPE

"A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don´t need it."

"She said she was approaching forty, and I couldn´t help wondering from what direction."

"Bing Crosby and I weren´t the types to go around kissing each other. We always had a light jab for each other. One of our stock lines used to be, "There´s nothing I wouldn´t do for Bing, and there´s nothing he wouldn´t do for me. And that´s the way we go through life - doing nothing for each other!"

"Welcome to the Academy Awards - or as it´s known at my house, Passover."

"I left England when I was four because I found out I could never be king."

"Television. That´s where movies go when they die."

"I thought about running for the presidency. But my wife said she wouldn´t want to move into a smaller house."

"You can always tell when a man´s well-informed. His views are pretty much like yours."

"I grew up with six brothers. That´s how I learned to dance - waiting for the bathroom."

"Bigamy is the only crime where two rites make a wrong."

"You know you´re getting old when the candles cost more than the cake."

"Kids are wonderful, but I like mine barbecued."

"Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle."

"My mother thought the doctor had left the stork and taken the baby."

(On receiving his knighthood) "Seventy years of ad lib material and I am speechless."

"People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy."

"They´ll always be an England, even if it´s in Hollywood."

(To President Kennedy when he was being presented with a gold medal for "services to his country.") "I feel very humble, but I think I have the strength of character to fight it."

"Virus is a Latin word used by doctors to mean ´your guess is as good as mine.´"

"Wine, women, and song have been replaced by prune juice, a heating pad, and the Gong Show."

(About his early boxing days) "Some fighters are carried back to their dressing rooms. I´m the only one who had to be carried both ways."

(Asked shortly before a tour to Vietnam if he was worth 50 million dollars) "If I had $50 million, I wouldn´t go to Vietnam; I´d send for it."

"Bing (Crosby) doesn´t pay income tax. He just calls the government and says, ´How much do you boys need?´"

(Commenting on why he cut his cruise vacation short.) "Fish don´t applaud."

"Eisenhower admitted that the budget can´t be balanced and McCarthy says the communists are taking over. You don´t know what to worry about these days ... whether the country will be overthrown or overdrawn."

FROM THE EDITOR´S DESKTOP

I was delighted this morning to find many kind wishes from friends on the occasional of my 94th birthday, but I have managed to send acknowledgements to only a few. If you are not one of those whom I managed to contact, be assured that I loved your card and appreciated your sentiments.

The reason I didn´t manage to thank you all was that I had a luncheon date with some of the women who used to volunteer in the school library where I worked for 16 years, and I didn´t get home until after 3:00 p.m. Then I had a nap, and after that my dinner, and then I had to finish the suggested sites for this week´s Spinner, because this is the night that I send the copies to the webmasters.

We had a delightful lunch at the Old Spaghetti Factory, because it is close to the skytrain which brings my friends from North Vancouver to New Westminster. I used to go to North Van for our lunches, but since I quit driving, they come to me. We have been meeting for lunches and dinners for 44 years, ever since I started working at Ridgeway School in North Van. I was 49 years old then, and my friends were young mothers of children in the school. Now many of those mothers are grandmothers, and most of us show the results of the passing of years.

I quit working 29 years ago, and we have met about three times a year since then. I am so lucky to have had such good friends for so long. I only wish that I could meet all my subscribers for lunch too, but since that is impossible, I can only assure you that I appreciate all your cards and your kind wishes. Thank you!

SUGGESTED WEBSITES

Barbara Wear forwards this link to an inspirational video about what is important:

Bruce Galway shares this link that discusses the ethical dilemma of owning a self-driving car:

Carol Hansen forwards the URL for a video of life and death beneath the sea:

Catherine Nesbitt sends this link to a story of African rats which are trained to sniff out landmines without triggering an explosion, and also to find cases of TB that have been missed in other tests:

Catherine also sends a link to photos of Saskatchewan which prove that it is not all flat and boring:

Irene Harvalias sends the URL for a video of a 240-year-old doll that can write - an astonishing automaton that was invented in Switzerland in the 1770s:

Judith English forwards the URL for a video of a speed painter, who creates a painting in less than a minute and a half:

After being open for just a few weeks, Vancouver´s first cat cafe had to shut its doors last week for the best possible reason - it ran out of cats, because they had all been adopted:

For those who think that artificial sweeteners are an acceptable substitute for sugar, watch this video:

For National Geographic´s top photos of 2015, click on

In addition to the many ways we can use WD-40, here are some you may not have thought of:

To check out the features of the "freedictionary", which changes daily, go to