Home  >> Stories  >> The Tale Spinner #2016-05

---

IN THIS ISSUE

• Mike Yeager writes from Singapore
• Irene Harvalias has some advice for grandmothers
• Catherine Nesbitt forwards some clever anagrams
• Shirley Coutts shares children´s ideas about love
• A young man performs 365 good deeds in a year
• Tom Williamson sends some random observations
• Sites are suggested by Don Henderson, Patti Wheeler, Tom Telfer, and Tom Williamson

Mike Yeager continues his description of their visit to

SINGAPORE

I´ve dreamed about living somewhere else from the time I was a young child. I got a chance to see all parts of the country when growing up because of my family´s yearly two-week vacations. Missouri´s central location made it easy for the family to head off in a different direction each year. Remembering these precious two weeks during the summer helped me get through the rest of the year, when I was stuck in school. I could recall the deserts of the Southwest, the California beaches, the Rocky Mountains, the Eastern Seaboard, or the Gulf Coast.

As I got older, I read about ex-pats, those individuals who lived abroad. I admired writers and artists like Hemingway in Paris and Gaugin in Tahiti. The only time I´ve actually lived out of the country was my year in Vietnam. Imagining myself being there without the war was something that helped me get through it.

Katie and I now have a chance to experience a slice of ex-pat life here in Singapore. As a Caucasian, I am definitely in the minority. I see other westerners around and expect them to acknowledge me, as if were in some sort of a club, sharing a common experience. "Isnt it great to be living here in this exotic place?" But so far none of them have acknowledged me. In fact, they seem to be the most unfriendly group here. Maybe there isn´t a club after all.

Being in Singapore is not quite like being in other Southeast Asian countries. My stepson Peter refers to it as "Southeast Asia for Beginners." The city is clean and orderly, and just about everyone speaks English. The majority of the population is Chinese, but there are Indians, Malays, Indonesians, Filipinos, Pakistanis, and more. Mandarin and English are the two national languages, so it has allowed me an opportunity to learn and practice my Chinese. So far everyone has been kind and helpful as I attempt to communicate. All except one man, that is, who ran a food stall at one of the hawker centers. I asked him for some hot sauce for my noodle soup in what I thought was adequate Mandarin, but he looked at me as if I were speaking Martian, and called for his wife. It was obvious that he didnt want to deal with me. His wife came out from the back and seemed happy that I was attempting to learn the language, and gave me some hot sauce.

To understand why Peter refers to Singapore as being for beginners, one only has to go across the bridge into Malaysia, which we did a few days ago. The smells, the cars and traffic, the poverty next to affluence all screamed "third world country." Many things in Singapore are cheap. At the hawker food centers, which are everywhere, you can get a delicious meal of rice or noodles, meat and vegetables for from $2.00 - $3.50 Sings (SGD.) One Sing is about $.70 US currency. Its cheaper to eat out than to prepare meals at home.

Ninety plus percent of the people here live in government housing. The island is filled with high rise apartment buildings. Like a rat in a maze, I´m constantly getting turned around and lost because there are no horizon reference points. But the mass transit system is great. The MRT(subway/rail system) runs the width and length of the island. It is cheap to ride and extremely clean and orderly. Katie and I have ventured out in all directions. We´re determined to see and experience as much of this island/country as possible.

ED. NOTE: For some of Mike´s photos of Singapore, click on

Irene Harvalias sends this for all the grandmothers out there:

GRANDMA, WHAT DARK CIRCLES YOU HAVE

You probably already know this, but in case you had any lingering doubts - if you are a woman and someone wants to watch you put on your makeup, say no.

Bunking on the air mattress at our son´s place in Chicago, I got up early, straightened my spine, and staggered to the bathroom for my morning routine. After showering and dressing, I cracked open the door to let out some of the steam, and was soon joined by a six-year-old watching me put on my face.

"Why are you rubbing that stuff all over your face, Grandma?"

"Well, as you age, your skin dries out and can look uneven.This helps fix it. You dont have dry skin.Your skin is beautiful just like it is."

"Oh."

"It can help wrinkles. You don´t have wrinkles. Do you see mine?"

"Yes! On your forehead! One, two, three. And there´s some on the side of your face, too! One, two...."

"OK, that´s enough."

"My mom doesn´t rub that on her face."

"That´s because your mom is young and has beautiful skin."

"But my other grandma doesn´t rub that on her face."

"That´s because your other grandma has very good skin, too. She´s the one that gave your mother good skin. Now let´s stop making this grandma feel bad."

"What are you doing with that pencil, Grandma?"

"Filling in some missing eyebrows."

"Where did they go?"

"I wish I knew."

"And now you´re using the pencil on your eyelid?"

"Yep."

"What if you go outside the line?"

"Then it will be time to close the makeup bag."

"What is that, Grandma? Are you trying to straighten out your eyelashes?"

"No, it´s mascara. It makes your eyelashes look thicker."

"Are your eyelashes missing too?"

"Yes, they ran away with parts of my eyebrows. Didn´t I hear your dad calling you?"

"No, he´s still asleep."

"Too bad."

"What´s that, Grandma?"

"It´s concealer. It helps cover the dark circles under my eyes."

"How do you get those?"

"I got the concealer from the drugstore. The dark circles I got from raising children, being married to your grandpa, and sleeping on the air mattress."

"Are you finished?"

"Just about. Every lady needs to put on one more thing before she´s finished."

"What´s that?"

"A smile."

Catherine Nesbitt writes: This has got to be one of the cleverest e-mails I´ve received in a while. Someone out there must be deadly at Scrabble:

ANAGRAMS

Shirley Coutts forwards children´s answers to being asked

WHAT DOES LOVE MEAN?

Slow down for three minutes to read this. A group of professional people posed this question to a group of four- to eight-year-olds, "What does love mean?" The answers they got were broader, deeper, and more profound than anyone could have ever imagined. See what you think:

"When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn´t bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That´s love." - Rebecca, age eight

"When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth." Billy, age four

"Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other." - Karl, age five

"Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs." - Chrissy, age six

"Love is what makes you smile when you´re tired." - Terri, age four

"Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK." - Danny, age eight

"Love is what´s in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and just listen." - Bobby, age seven (Wow!)

"If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate. " - Nikka, age six (We need a few million more Nikkas on this planet!)

"Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it every day." - Noelle, age seven

"Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well." - Tommy, age six

"During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn´t scared anymore." - Cindy, age eight

"My mommy loves me more than anybody. You don´t see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night." Clare, age six

"Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken." - Elaine, age five

"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford." - Chris, age seven

"Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day. - Mary Ann, age four

"I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones." - Lauren, age four

"When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you." (What an image!) - Karen, age seven

"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn´t think it´s gross." - Mark, age six

"You really shouldn´t say ´I love you´ unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget." - Jessica, age eight

The winner was a four-year-old child whose next door neighbour was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife. Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman´s yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there. When his mother asked what he had said to the neighbour, the little boy said, "Nothing. I just helped him cry."

GOOD DEEDS

A young man from Cheltenham, England, decided to do a good deed every day for 365 days in honour or his family friend, Maura, who died of cancer. Luke Cameron explains that Maura would do anything for anyone, and he wanted to do the same in a society that is becoming self obsessed. Every day he finds a way to help others. For example, one day he might take out the garbage for his elderly neighbour, and the next day he might pay for someone´s meal at a restaurant. Cameron started a website called "The Good Deed Diary," and he has attracted lots of positive media coverage for his generosity.

ED. NOTE: To read more about Luke Cameron´s experiences, click on

http://tinyurl.com/h6mttht

Tom Williamsonforwards these

ASTUTE OBSERVATIONS

There are two sides to every divorce: yours and dipshit´s.

The closest I ever got to a 4.0 in college was my blood alcohol content.

I live in my own little world, but it´s OK. Everyone knows me here.

I saw a very large woman wearing a sweatshirt with "Guess" on it. I said, "Left tackle?

I don´t do drugs. I find I get the same effect just by standing up really fast.

I don´t like political jokes. I´ve seen too many get elected.

The most precious thing we have is life, yet it has absolutely no trade-in value.

If life deals you lemons, make lemonade. If life deals you tomatoes, make Bloody Marys.

Shopping tip: You can get shoes for a buck at bowling alleys.

Every day I beat my previous record of consecutive days I´ve stayed alive.

No one ever says, "It´s only a game!" when their team´s winning.

Ever notice that people who spend money on beer, cigarettes, and lottery tickets are always complaining about being broke and not feeling well?

Isn´t having a smoking section in a restaurant like having a peeing section in a swimming pool?

Marriage changes passion ... suddenly you´re in bed with a relative.

Why is it that most nudists are people you don´t want to see naked?

Snowmen fall from Heaven unassembled.

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can´t even get into my own pants.

I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose-fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose- fitting clothing, I wouldn´t need the freakin´ class!

Don´t argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able to tell the difference.

Wouldn´t you know it! Brain cells come and brain cells go, but FAT cells live forever.

SUGGESTED WEBSITES

Don Henderson forwards the URL for an article from the New York Times about the closing of the Canadian mind, which he believes every Canadian should read. Be aware that the article was dated August 14, 2015, and we have had a federal election since then, which should have had a profound effect on our mindset:

Patti Wheeler has updated the information on Wendy Fuller´s situation. The Crowdfunding site raised enough money to pay off Wendy´s bills, with some left over for the Guelph Drop In Center, which helps the homeless, and paid for Wendy´s stay in a local hotel so she could keep her job. She is back on the urgent wait list for housing, and her application for the Ontario Disability Support Program has been sent in:

Tom Telfer forwards this URL of a video about a mini water filtration system which can be used in the outdoors or for emergency use in case of disasters. It looks like something they could use in Flint, Michigan, with its water crisis:

Tom also sends this link to a site that claims that shopping from your home computer can not only be easier than running around different stores, but it can also be much cheaper:

Tom Williamson forwards this link to a documentary of a Spitfire pilot who flew reconnaissance flights over Germany during WW2, who finally saw a photo of his plane making a crash landing in a field:

Tom also sends this link to a video of the wildlife and terrain of the Great Bear Rainforest in BC:

In this TED talk, David Christian narrates a complete history of the universe, from the Big Bang to the Internet, in a riveting 18 minutes. This is "Big History": an enlightening, wide-angle look at complexity, life and humanity, set against our slim share of the cosmic timeline:

Speaking of clean energy sources, have a look at Iceland´s geothermal plants, which produce about 25% of the nation´s energy without producing air pollution or greenhouse gases:

If you are thinking of buying a new computer, here are some things to consider before making your final choice:

Part of the nature of science is that it never stops discovering new things, finding new evidence for theories and changing what we think we know about the world. These past 14 years since we entered the new millennium have been very productive, and here are some of the major discoveries we´ve made since then:

To check out the features of the "freedictionary," which changes daily, go to