Home  >> Stories  >> The Tale Spinner #2016-09

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IN THIS ISSUE

• Mike Yeager continues his story of their visit to Thailand
• Barbara Wear is scheduled for open-heart surgery in April
• Catherine Nesbitt´s story is about assumptions
• Shirley Couttes shares a Newfie joke
• Rafiki sends a Mensa problem
• Kathleen Deedrick tells us how to bathe a cat
• Tom Williamson forwards six facts about life
• Sites are suggested by Barbara Wear, Carol Hansen, Catherine Nesbitt, Jay, Judith English, Shirley Conlon, Tom Telfer, and Tom Williamson

Mike Yeager writes about

CHANG MAI, A VERY BUDDHIST CITY

Our hotel in Chang Mai, Thailand, is in the "old city," which is contained in a big square surrounded by a crumbling ancient wall and moat. The "old city" looks only slightly older than the newer parts outside the square. The biggest difference seems to be the width of the streets. Our van driver from the airport had to leave us at the corner because the van was too big to drive down the narrow lanes. We walked the rest of the way to our hotel, past small restaurants, tailor shops, tiny convenient stores, and guesthouses. It reminds me of the narrow alleyways on Mykonos, Greece, but not as white. Tourists are everywhere and always present in the old city, lots of Chinese, but also people from all over the world.

Thailand is predominantly a Buddhist country, and in Chang Mai, temples or wats are everywhere. "Wat" means "enclosure" in the ancient Pali language, and these religious enclaves are surrounded by walls that separate them from the secular world. Within the walls are temples, shrine halls, bells, Chedis or stupas (large cone structures, often with gold leaf on the outside) and more. The temples and structures are elaborate and ornate, inside and out. They make the cathedrals of Europe seem plain. Almost all the temples are open and free to the public, but shoes must be left on the steps outside. Statues of Buddha are within each temple, with the largest one being the centerpiece. There are no chairs or benches to sit on. To pray, one kneels on a rug which lies on the immaculate tile floor in front of the altar. Buddhist etiquette requires that one´s feet never point toward the altar. Some of the Chinese tourists knelt at the altar to pray, but very few westerners did. Perhaps they had trouble getting down on their knees and back up again.

Where there are wats, there are monks. While visiting one large wat, two young monks beckoned me to sit on a bench near them. When I did, they began asking me questions about myself, where I was from, how long had I been in Thailand, etc. One of the monks spoke pretty good English, the other didn´t. They seemed happy talking with me, and I assumed they called me over because they sensed a depth of understanding that I was somehow projecting. After all, I´ve studied Buddhism since the ´70s and have attended many Buddhist groups in the U.S., including Vipassana groups that originated here in Thailand. They asked if I had a question about Buddhism, and I did.

My question was: If Buddhism is a non-dualistic religion, who are they praying to? And isn´t it true that if one prays to any form of outside entity, whether it be a spiritual entity or physical entity, one is entering the dualistic world, the world of suffering, and wouldn´t that be defeating the purpose - or to coin a Buddhist phrase, wouldn´t one be mistaking the finger pointing to the moon for the moon itself?

But before I had a chance to ask my question, another western couple came over and began talking with them, and they seemed to lose interest in me. So much for my "I am special" theory, which probably was my Buddhist lesson of the day.

Buddhism here is complicated. I can´t begin to understand the meaning of all the ritualistic practices. Practitioners bow to statues and offer incense, pour oil, ring bells, get blessed by monks, and walk around chedis chanting. There seems to be no end to it. It´s definitely not the simple Buddhism I studied in the US - meditating, practicing mindfulness, compassion for all living things. In a college class in the early ´70s, the Buddhist monk teacher told us that all of the teachings of Buddhism are contained in the placing of your shoes before entering the temple.

We visited Wat Prathart Doi Suthep. It´s away up the mountain just outside the city. At the base of the mountain is Chang Mai University. Monks used to have to walk from there up the mountain path before getting to the steps. Tourists can choose to do this also, or be driven right up to the base of the steps. We chose to be driven, thinking that if we walked up the entire mountain, we might not be able to get up the 300+ steps.

The Wat grounds away up on the mountainside are spectacular and overlook the city. Katie and I wanted to enter into some spiritual aspect of the place, not just wander around gawking and taking pictures like everyone else, so we decided to walk three times around the giant golden chedi. Laminated chant cards are in a basket at the entrance, and one is supposed to read them and silently chant while circling the chedi. But the words were so foreign to us, we decided to mentally chant the universal Tibetan Buddhist mantra, Om Mani Padme Hum.

As I began to slowly walk on the path, I became aware of people behind me. I felt like a slow-moving vehicle going up a steep hill followed by a line of cars. Each time the path widened, three or four people scurried past me, but I "religiously" maintained my slow pace. Thoughts entered my mind: What´s their hurry? Are they trying to get this over with quickly? One young man hurried past me listening to ear phones. It seems that everyone here is just going through the motions, evoking the magic formula that will take away all their troubles. I kept walking slowly and chanting, Om Mani Padme Hum, and sensed a separation between my thoughts and my awareness. By the time I was on my third circle, I was in the zone, peacefully putting one foot in front of the other, a part of, but untouched by the whirling world around me.

ED. NOTE: To view Mike´s many photos of this story, click on http://tinyurl.com/jsd7xzx

CORRESPONDENCE

Barbara Wear writes: Please keep me in your prayers. On April 12th I am having open-heart surgery in Boston to replace my aortic valve and to by-pass an artery that is 75% blocked. I will spend four to six days in hospital, and then maybe three to four weeks in rehab. Knowing me ... I will be home sooner than that. It will be wonderful to breathe normally again and to get back to walking and exercising.

ED. NOTE: I am sure that all Spinner readers send Barbara their best wishes for a speedy recovery from her operation. May the operation be entirely successful and may she soon resume her normal way of life!

Catherine Nesbitt forwards this story about

THE NEWSPAPER PHOTOGRAPHER

The photographer for a large national newspaper was assigned to get photos of an enormous forest fire. Smoke at the scene was too thick to get any good shots, so he frantically called his home office to hire a plane.

"It will be waiting for you at the airport!" he was assured by his editor.

As soon as he got to the small rural airport, sure enough, a plane was warming up near the runway. The photographer jumped in with his equipment and yelled, "Let´s go! Go, go, go!"

The pilot nodded and swung the plane into the wind, and soon they were in the air.

"Fly over the north side of the fire," said the photographer, "and make three or four low level passes."

"Why?" asked the pilot.

"Because I´m going to take pictures! I´m a photographer, and photographers take pictures!" said the photographer with great exasperation and impatience.

"Do you mean to say," the pilot asked after a long pause, "that you´re not the flight instructor?"

Shirley Coutts forwards this

FISHY STORY

A Newfoundlander was stopped by a game warden recently with two ice chests full of live fish. He was leavin´ a cove well known for its fishing.

The game warden stopped him and asked, "Do you have a license to catch those fish?"

"No, sir," replied the Newfoundlander. "Got no license. I don´t need one. You must understand, b´y, dese fish are my pet fish."

"Pet fish?" says the warden.

"Yeah. Dat´s de trut,´ b´y. Every night, I takes dese fish down to de cove and lets ´em swim ´round for awhile. Den, when I whistles, dey jumps right back into dese ice chests, and I takes ´em ´ome."

"That´s a bunch of hooey! Fish can´t do that."

The Newfoundlander looked at the warden for a moment and then said, "It´s de trut, sir. I´ll show ya. It really works."

"Okay," said the warden. "I´ve got to see this!"

The Newfoundlander stood on a rock and poured the fish into the cove. Then he stood and looked out to sea.

After several minutes, the warden says, "Well?"

"Well, what?" says the Newfoundlander.

The warden says, "When are you going to call them back?"

"Call who back?"

"The FISH," replied the warden.

"What fish?" replied the Newfoundlander.

Moral of the story: We may not be as smart as some, but by the Lard tundering, we ain´t as dumb as some government employees!

Rafiki forwards this story about Mensa, which as you know, is a national organization for people who have an IQ of 140 or higher:

THE SOLUTION

Last year, there was a Mensa convention in San Francisco. Several of the Mensa members went out for lunch at a local cafe. When they sat down, one of them discovered that their salt shaker contained pepper, and their pepper shaker was full of salt.

How could they swap the contents of the two bottles without spilling any, and using only the implements at hand?

Clearly, this was a job for Mensa minds.

The group debated the problem and presented ideas and finally came up with a brilliant solution involving a napkin, a straw, and an empty saucer.

They called the waitress over, ready to dazzle her with their solution.

"Ma´am," they said, "we couldn´t help but notice that the pepper shaker contains salt and the salt shaker pepper."

But before they could finish, the waitress interrupted. "Oh - sorry about that." She leaned over the table, unscrewed the caps of both bottles and switched them.

There was dead silence at the Mensa table.

Kinda reminds ya of the government, doesn´t it? Solutions to our problems should be so simple, but the brilliant minds in Ottawa always seem to make them so difficult.

A note of warning: Bears will soon be waking from their long winter´s sleep, and they will be hungry.

Kathleen Deedrick sent this article on

CAT BATHING AS A MARTIAL ART

Some people say cats never have to be bathed. They say cats lick themselves clean. They say cats have a special enzyme of some sort in their saliva that works like new, improved Whisk - dislodging the dirt where it hides and whisking it away. I´ve spent most of my life believing this folklore. Like most blind believers, I´ve been able to discount all the facts to the contrary, the kitty odors that lurk in the corners of the garage and dirt smudges that cling to the throw rug by the fireplace. The time comes, however, when a man must face reality: when he must look squarely in the face of massive public sentiment to the contrary and announce: "This cat smells like a port-a-potty on a hot day in Juarez."

When that day arrives at your house, as it has in mine, I have some advice you might consider as you place your feline friend under your arm and head for the bathtub: Know that although the cat has the advantage of quickness and lack of concern for human life, you have the advantage of strength and intelligence.

Capitalize on those advantages by selecting the battlefield. Don´t try to bathe him in an open area where he can force you to chase him. Pick a very small bathroom. If you bathroom is more than four feet square, I recommend that you get in the tub with the cat and close the sliding-glass doors as if you were about to take a shower. (A simple shower curtain will not do. A berserk cat can shred a three-ply rubber shower curtain quicker than a politician can shift positions.)

Know that a cat has claws and will not hesitate to remove all the skin from your body. In narrow strips. Your advantage here is that you are smart and know how to dress to protect yourself. I recommend canvas overalls tucked into high-top construction boots, a pair of steel-mesh gloves, an army helmet, a hockey face mask, and a long-sleeved flak jacket. (Failing that, in an emergency a full one-piece leather motorcycle riding suit, including helmet, may be used.)

Prepare everything in advance. There is no time to go out for a towel when you have a cat digging a hole in your flak jacket.

Draw the water. Make sure the bottle of kitty shampoo is inside the glass enclosure. Make sure the towel can be reached, even if you are lying on your back in the water.

Use the element of surprise. Pick up your cat nonchalantly, as if to simply carry him to his supper dish. (Cats will not usually notice your strange attire. They have little or no interest in fashion as a rule. If he does notice your garb, calmly explain that you are taking part in a product testing experiment for J.C. Penney.)

Once you are inside the bathroom, speed is essential to survival. In a single fluid motion, shut the bathroom door, step into the tub enclosure, slide the glass door shut, dip the cat in the water and squirt him with shampoo. You have begun one of the wildest 45 seconds of your life. Cats have no handles. Add the fact that he now has soapy fur, and the problem is radically compounded. Do not expect to hold on to him for more than two or three seconds at a time. When you have him, however, you must remember to give him another squirt of shampoo and rub like crazy.

He´ll then spring free and fall back into the water, thereby rinsing himself off. (The national record for cats is three latherings, so don´t expect too much.)

Next, the cat must be dried. Novice cat bathers always assume this part will be the most difficult, for humans generally are worn out at this point and the cat is just getting really determined. In fact, the drying is simple compared to what you have just been through. That´s because by now the cat is semi-permanently affixed to your right leg. You simply pop the drain plug with your foot, reach for your towel, and wait. (Occasionally, however, the cat will end up clinging to the top of your army helmet. If this happens, the best thing you can do is to shake him loose and to encourage him toward your leg.) After all the water is drained from the tub, it is a simple matter to just reach down and dry the cat.

In a few days the cat will relax enough to be removed from your leg. He will usually have nothing to say for about three weeks and will spend a lot of time sitting with his back to you. He might even become psychoceramic and develop the fixed stare of a plaster figurine. You will be tempted to assume he is angry. This isn´t usually the case. As a rule he is simply plotting ways to get through your defenses and injure you for life the next time you decide to give him a bath. But at least now he smells a lot better.

Tom Williamson forwards these

SIX UNDENIABLE FACTS OF LIFE

?Don´t educate your children to be rich, educate them to be happy. So when they grow up, they will know the value of things, not the price.?

Eat your food as your medicines. Otherwise you have to? eat medicines as your food.

The one who loves you will never leave you because even if there are 100 reasons to give up, he or she will find one reason to hold on.

There is a big difference between a human being and being human. Only a few really understand it.?

You are loved when you are born; you will be loved when you die. In between, you just have to manage!?

If you just want to walk fast, walk alone. But if you want to walk far, walk together!

SUGGESTED WEBSITES

Barbara Wear shares the URL for a video of Gene Kelly on roller skates in the movie "It´s Always Fair Weather:"

Carol Hansen sends this link to a video of a local hero in Del Rio, Texas, a disadvantaged man who works tirelessly to support his widowed mother:

Catherine Nesbitt sends this link to a spectacular fireworks show in the Hunan Province town in China where fireworks were first invented:

Catherine also sends the URL for a video of the elephants that walk through the lobby of the Mfuwe Lodge in Zambia to get to a mango grove which was there before the lodge was built:

Jay shares thisling to an article about the 23 cities with the best quality of life in the world. Canada has five of these cities, while the U.S. has none:

Judith English forwards this advertisement which tells the touching story of an unsung hero in Thailand:

Shirley Conlon forwards the URL for a video of walnut growing in Australia, a largely automated procedure that produces the walnuts we buy:

Tom Telfer sends this link to a video of the travels of Gunther Holtorf and his wife Christine, who set out on what was meant to be an 18-month tour of Africa in their Mercedes Benz G Wagon. With more than 800,000km (500,000 miles) on the clock, Gunther was still going:

Tom Williamson sends this link to a video of a home-made marionette on the streets of New York:

In this TED talk from this month, Al Gore says there is a case for optimism on the challenge of climate change:

March is Women´s History Month, and we´re celebrating by honouring some of the most inspiring, revolutionary, and unconventional women of all time:

If you are interested in classic cars, these models of the ´40s and ´50s will always have a place of honour in the hall of fame of car manufacturing:

To check out the features of the "freedictionary", which changes daily, go to