Home  >> Stories  >> The Tale Spinner #2016-10

---

IN THIS ISSUE

• Mike Yeager writes about the city of Chiang Mia
• We get letters from Barbara Wear and Zvonko Springer
• Catherine Nesbitt sends photos of spring flowers
• Betty Audet shares thoughts on growing old
• Irene Harvalias forwards an article on new technology
• People find odd reasons to have celebrations
• Catherine Nesbitt sends a tale of a sensitive man
• Sites are suggested by Barbara Wear, Catherine Nesbitt, Irene Harvalias, Tom Telfer, and Tom Williamson

Mike Yeager writes about his

IMPRESSIONS OF CHIANG MAI

Our hotel room at the Boonthavon Hotel was simple and clean. Every day the maids cleaned, changed the sheets, gave us new towels, and two bottles of water. Our only complaint was the bed. It was big, but hard as a board. The pillows were big and hard as well. After the first night, Katie and I felt as if we had spent the night on the rack. The next night we put the top blanket and the spare blanket from the closet under the bottom sheet and it helped, but wasn´t enough. We figured we needed more blankets, so we asked a maid for another one, which she kindly gave us. After the third night, we decided one more blanket would do the trick. A different hotel employee told us they had no more blankets to spare and gave us a look as if we were the wimpiest people alive to need all those blankets. It did cool off in the evening, into the seventies, but a sheet on top was enough. On the fifth day, another blanket showed up in our room and we stuffed it under the sheet. I assume, one of the maids felt sorry for us.

Motor scooters are everywhere in Chiang Mai. They are an affordable type of transportation, cars being too expensive for most Thais. Fathers and mothers take their children to school two or three at a time, and old and young, women and men, carry all sorts of merchandise on these small Japanese motor scooters. There is no helmet law, so most people, including children, wear no protective gear. Katie and I toyed with the idea of renting one. They cost only six or seven dollars a day and all you need to rent one is a physical body and a credit card. I´m an experienced motorcyclist and would have had no problem riding around on one, but in Thailand they drive on the left side of the road.

This posed a significant problem for Katie and me when crossing the busy streets. There are very few traffic lights and crosswalks. Pedestrians are on their own and drivers don´t cut them any slack, so crossing the street is a challenging and risky activity. Invariably, Katie or I would look the wrong way, step out into the road, and nearly get killed by a car or motorbike coming from the opposite direction. Old habits are hard to break. I feared that if we were riding on a motorbike and I needed to make a quick decision, I might instinctively swerve the bike into oncoming traffic, and that would be the end of us. So we walked a lot, or hailed a "red truck" (rod dang) or a "tuk tuk," those three-wheeled vehicles that look like a motorcycle pulling a rickshaw.

Chiang Mai is filled with young travelers from all over the world. As I watched them, I knew they were having the time of their lives. I still feel that way about the trip I took with my friend Paul, backpacking through Europe when we were in our twenties. At times I felt envious of these young good-looking travelers, with strong bodies and sharp minds. During the day they´d take off on motorbikes to bathe elephants or zip-line over the treetops, and in the evening they´d gather at one of the many small cafes and talk and laugh with other young travellers. Usually I was thankful to be half of an older couple. I even started a list in my notebook under the title, "Advantages of Being Old." I had a lot of things in mind to put down, but when I finally got around to creating the list, I couldn´t think of a thing. Maybe one or two advantages will come to me in time.

Katie and I filled our days walking around town, touring temples, shopping, going to museums, and eating a lot of good, cheap and delicious Thai food. For dinner one evening at a small restaurant, we had Pad Si-iew and Pad Thai and each had a strawberry/banana smoothie, all for less than three American dollars.

I don´t think we missed a day without logging some time at one of the numerous coffee houses around town. Chiang Mai could rival Seattle or Portland for the number of coffee shops. Many roast their own beans. For that late-morning or early-afternoon pick-me-up, we´d duck into one for a Thai iced coffee or Thai iced tea made with strong coffee or tea and sweetened condensed milk.

Pictures of the King of Thailand are everywhere, in shops, in temples, on the outside of buildings, and even on the money. I couldn´t help but think, put a mustache on him and he´s the spitting image of Dickey Smothers.

I saw very few American-made cars in Chiang Mai, several small Fords and a couple ofChevys. Almost all the cars are Japanese. A little Nissan wins the cutest car in Thailand award.

Adequate napkins are hard to come by in southeast Asia. Many places have none at all, or they are extremely small and frail, falling apart with one wipe. But one particular restaurant not only had good food, but wonderfully large napkins.

Thailand has the distinction of being the only southeast Asian country never to have been colonized by Europeans. I know this has many advantages to the country and its people, but as they emerge into the modern era, some of their infrastructure is a little shaky, like no potable water, air and water pollution, electronic glitches, etc.

Our visit to Thailand was overall a positive experience. The people were friendly, the food delicious, and the country was beautiful. What I loved most was seeing the Thai culture, alive and well. Western influence has definitely happened, but it is being integrated in a uniquely Thai way.

ED. NOTE: For pictures of Chiang Mai, go to Mike´s blog at

CORRESPONDENCE

Barbara Wear, referring to a recommended website from February 13, which warned cell phone owners about flashlight apps because of their vulnerability to hackers and scammers, writes: Always check out stories that are over the top, shocking, etc., on Snopes.com. As you will see, this warning was a bit overblown.

Flashlight apps are no more risky than just about any other program you put on a cell phone or tablet. You need to be careful what permissions you give ANY program you install. If the permission makes no sense, then deny the permission. That is what I do. Also, this is why I prefer the Apple products. It cost a mint for a program to be allowed into the Apple store. This can not be said for the Android stores at Google and Amazon. This facts means more apps that can attack your phone can get into an android than an Apple smart phone or tablet. Simply put, the Apple products are more secure. You pay for this security and so do the people that try to sell apps for them. If you want cheap, go android, but you will take more risk from apps that may be looking to steal your data. Flashlight apps are just one of the apps than can steal your data if you are not careful. If you do not know the reputation of the company that makes an android app, you may want to research it first.

Again, always look up these stories on Snopes. Here is this story on snopes.com:

ED. NOTE: I should have done this myself before posting the URL for that video, but I forgot. ;(

Zvonko Springer writes: Belated congratulations on your birthday in January. They are rather late, but still Ljiljana and I send our best wishes for good health. We expect that you will edit very many "Tale Spinners" issues in the forthcoming years.

I had an accident climbing out of a pool on January 13. I peeled off my skin in L-form in front of my shinbone of my right leg. The skin part stayed on, yet it was some 15cm long and 6cm at low side. It took at total of five surgeries, including two skin transplants, during the six weeks I was staying in the Accidents Hospital. I got home on February 26 - thus my late responding to your birthday. I am still rather weak and insecure on my legs, using two crutches to move around our house on the ground floor only. Still, I have downloaded all the Spinner issues since No. 2. Ciao dear Editor.

ED. NOTE: I am sure my readers join me in wishing Zvonko a speedy and full recovery from his accident.

Catherine Nesbitt lives near the boardwalk along the Fraser River in New Westminster, BC. She sent me these photos of flowers in bloom last week, and I am passing them on to you in the East to reassure you that spring really is coming, no matter how much you may doubt it:

THE FLOWERS THAT BLOOM IN THE SPRING

Betty Audet shares these thoughts on

GROWING OLD

I very quietly confided to my best friend that I was having an affair. She turned to me and asked, "Are you having it catered?" And that, my friend, is the sad definition of "OLD."

Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked, "How old was your husband?"

"Ninety-eight," she replied. "Two years older than me."

"So you´re 96," the undertaker commented.

She responded, "Hardly worth going home, is it?"

A reporter interviewing a 104-year-old woman asked: "And what do you think is the best thing about being 104"

She simply replied, "No peer pressure."

I´ve sure gotten old! I have outlived my feet and my teeth; I´ve had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, new knees, fought prostate cancer and diabetes; I´m half blind, can´t hear anything quieter than a jet engine; take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts. Have bouts with dementia. Have poor circulation; hardly feel my hands and feet anymore. Can´t remember if I´m 85 or 92. Have lost all my friends. But thank God,I still have my driver´s license!

I feel as if my body has gotten totally out of shape, so I got my doctor´s permission to join a fitness club and start exercising. I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors. I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. But by the time I got my leotards on, the class was over.

An elderly woman decided to prepare her will, and told her preacher she had two final requests. First, she wanted to be cremated, and second, she wanted her ashes scattered over Wal-Mart.

"Wal-Mart" the preacher exclaimed."Why Wal-Mart?"

"Then I´ll be sure my daughters visit me twice a week."

My memory´s not as sharp as it used to be. Also, my memory´s not as sharp as it used to be.

Know how to prevent sagging? Just eat till the wrinkles fill out.

It´s scary when you start making the same noises as your coffee maker.

These days about half the stuff in my shopping cart says, "For fast relief."

THE SENILITY PRAYER: Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.

Irene Harvalias wonders

SHOULD I REALLY JOIN FACEBOOK?

When I bought my Blackberry, I thought about the 30-year business I ran with 1800 employees, all without a cell phone that plays music, takes videos, pictures, and communicates with Facebook and Twitter.

I signed up under duress for Twitter and Facebook, so my seven kids, their spouses, my 13 grandkids and two great-grandkids could communicate with me in the modern way. I figured I could handle something as simple as Twitter with only 140 characters of space.

My phone was beeping every three minutes with the details of everything except the bowel movements of the entire next generation.

I am not ready to live like this. I keep my cell phone in the garage in my golf bag.

The kids bought me a GPS for my last birthday because they say I get lost every now and then going over to the grocery store or library. I keep that in a box under my tool bench with the Bluetooth (it´s red) phone I am supposed to use when I drive.

I wore it once and was standing in line at Barnes and Noble talking to my wife, and everyone in the nearest 50 yards was glaring at me. I had to take my hearing aid out to use it, and I got a little loud.

I mean, the GPS looked pretty smart on my dashboard, but the lady inside that gadget was the most annoying, rudest person I had run into in a long time. Every 10 minutes, she would sarcastically say, "Re-calc-u-lating."

You would think that she could be nicer. It was like she could barely tolerate me. She would let go with a deep sigh, and then tell me to make a U-turn at the next light. Then, if I made a right turn instead.... Well, it was not a good relationship...

When I get really lost now, I call my wife and tell her the name of the cross streets, and while she is starting to develop the same tone as Gypsy, the GPS lady, at least she loves me.

To be perfectly frank, I am still trying to learn how to use the cordless phones in our house.

We have had them for four years, but I still haven´t figured out how I lose three phones all at once and have to run around digging under chair cushions, checking bathrooms, and the dirty laundry baskets when the phone rings.

The world is just getting too complex for me.

They even mess me up every time I go to the grocery store. You would think they could settle on something themselves, but this sudden, "Paper or plastic?" every time I check out, just knocks me for a loop.

I bought some of those cloth reusable bags to avoid looking confused, but I never remember to take them with me.

Now I toss it back to them. When they ask me, "Paper or plastic?" I just say, "Doesn´t matter to me. I am bi-sacksual."

Then it´s their turn to stare at me with a blank look.

I was recently asked if I tweet. I answered, No, but I do fart a lot."

P.S. I know some of you are not over 70. I sent it to you to allow you to forward it to those who are.

Speaking of celebrations, here are some

ODD FESTIVALS

While the customs and holidays of other peoples of the world may seem odd to us here in North America, ours probably seems just as odd to them. But what follows would probably even seem odd to the revelers involved if they could just stand back and look at it neutrally. Of course, some of them are just good fun!

CHEESE-ROLLING (U.K., May) Cheese-rolling has taken place on the one in two slopes of Cooper´s Hill, near Birdlip in Gloucestershire, since the 15th century. At 6:00 p.m. on the Spring Bank Holiday Monday, local youths line up at the top of the hill alongside a 7-pound. circular double Gloucester cheese. When the cheese is released, the competitors hurtle down the hill in an attempt to catch it before it reaches the bottom. Eight people were injured during the 1992 event and further accidents caused the 1998 event to be cancelled amidst much controversy.

DAY OF THE DEAD (Mexico, November 2) According to Indian folklore, this is the day when the deceased return to life. Families conduct macabre graveside picnics, offering food to the dead, and then dig into a feast of their own, eating chocolate coffins, sugar wreaths, and fancy breads adorned with skulls and crossbones.

DOO DAH PARADE (U.S., Thanksgiving) A spoof version of the glittering Rose Parade held each year in Pasadena, California, the Doo Dah Parade has deliberately become a byword in tackiness with badly- decorated floats, inept drill teams, and a routine where businessmen in suits perform with their briefcases.

GOTMAAR FESTIVAL (India, September) On the day following the September full moon, the 45,000 inhabitants of Pandhura divide themselves into two groups and start hurling rocks at each other until sunset, when the fighting ends. The festivities can get out of hand - in 1989 there were 616 causalities, including four deaths.

GRANDMOTHERS´ FESTIVAL (Norway, July) First held at Bodo in 1992, the festival sees grannies riding motorcycles, racehorses, skydiving, and scuba diving. The star of the inaugural event was 79-year-old Elida Anderson, who became the world´s oldest bungee jumper.

KING OF THE MOUNTAIN FESTIVAL (Australia, October) With a summit just 140 ft. above the surrounding plains, Mount Wycheproof in Victoria is registered as the lowest mountain in the world. This fact is celebrated annually with a foot-race up the mountain with each contestant carrying a sack of wheat weighing 140 lb.

LA TOMATINA (Spain) This festival dates back to 1944, when the fair at BuF1ol was ruined by hooligans hurling tomatoes at the procession. Now each year the town stages a 90-minute mass fight with 190,000 pounds of ripe tomatoes, an event which has relegated the annual fair to the status of a mere sideshow.

MOOSE-DROPPING FESTIVAL (Alaska, July) The town of Talkeetna plays host to an annual celebration of moose-droppings. Stalls sell jewelry and assorted knick-knacks made from moose-droppings, but pride of place goes to the moose-dropping throwing competition where competitors toss gold-plated moose-droppings into a target area, the winner being the one who lands his dropping closest to the centre target.

RUNNING OF THE SHEEP (U.S., September) Reedpoint, Montana, stages a gentle event similar to Spain´s famous Running of the Bulls. Each September, hundreds of sheep charge down Main Street for six blocks. Contests are held for the ugliest sheep and prettiest ewe, while shepherds assemble to recite poetry.

SWINGING THE FIREBALLS (Scotland, New year´s Eve) Residents of Stonehaven march through the town swinging great balls of fire made from wire netting and filled with driftwood, pine cones, twigs, and oil-soaked rags. The balls are then thrown into the harbour to herald the New year. The ceremony is thought to date back to the Middle Ages, when the townsfolk tried to charm the sun from the heavens during the long, cold winter months.

Catherine Nesbitt sends this story of

A SENSITIVE MAN

Three guys are working up on a mobile phone tower, Cooter, Ray, and Donnie. As they start their descent, Cooter slips, falls off the tower, and is killed instantly.

As the ambulance takes the body away, Ray says, "Well, shucks, someone should go and tell his wife."

Donnie says, "OK, I´m pretty good at that sensitive stuff. I´ll do it." Two hours later, he comes back carrying a case of Budweiser.

Ray says, "Where did you get that beer, Donnie?"

"Cooter´s wife gave it to me," Ray replies.

"That´s unbelievable! You told the lady her husband was dead, and she gave you a case of beer?"

"Well, not exactly," Donnie says. "When she answered the door, I said to her, ´You must be Cooter´s widow.´

She said, "You must be mistaken.... I´m not a widow."

Then I said, "I´ll bet you a case of Budweiser you are."

Some guys are good at that sensitive stuff.

SUGGESTED WEBSITES

Barbara Wear has been a member of this the organization for 33 years, and has maintained a 78-pound weight loss without putting any back on. She is not trying to push this site, but to educate others to its effectiveness:

Barbara also forwards this link to a fascinating video of the Gazillion Bubble Show, starring Ana Yang:

Catherine Nesbitt forwards the URL for a video which shows what we should all know about downed power lines. Watch it all the way through; it might save your life:

Irene Harvalias sends this link to a video showing the beauty of pollination by bees, birds, butterflies, and bats:

Tom Telfer sends the URL for an amazing card trick, which you can´t see how he does it in spite of the close camera and his short sleeves:

Tom also sends this link to a site which shows the new Cicret bracelet, with which you can turn your arm into a touch screen:

Tom Williamson forwards the URL for a video of a helicopter pilot helping to instal a tower spire, an example of precision flying:

According to this site, electric cars are on their way, and they could begin to wreck oil markets within a decade:

Doctors Without Borders is struggling to get long-term affordable access to the pneumonia vaccine to help vaccinate some of the world´s most vulnerable children in humanitarian crises. At the moment it is priced out of the reach of millions of children who are unprotected against pneumonia, the leading infectious cause of childhood death worldwide. Sign their petition at

You are invited to sign this petition from the Humane Society International to the World Bank Group on behalf of farm animals, asking for improved standards:

To check out the features of the "freedictionary", which changes daily, go to