Home  >> Stories  >> The Tale Spinner #2016-15

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IN THIS ISSUE

• Mike Yeager writes about a visit to Kuala Lumpur
• If it´s not spring where you are, it soon will be, and golfers will be out
• The editor found some old letters about her first trip to Europe
• Catherine Nesbitt forwards a puzzle about a stolen car
• Tom Telfer says he is no longer confused
• The Encyclopedia of Life studies natural history
• Sometimes new bosses are a little too quick to make decisions
• Barbara Wear suggests a couple of websites to investigate

Mike Yeager describes

A WEEKEND IN KUALA LUMPUR

We needed to transport our grandson, Christopher, to his weekend Boy Scout camping trip in the mountains outside of Seremban, a town just south of Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. My wife, Katie, daughter-in-law, Nani, and I decided to take the opportunity to explore Kuala Lumpur, so we booked a hotel for two nights. KL (as they refer to it here) is about a four-hour drive from Singapore. After crossing the border into Malaysia, we drove into Johor Bahru looking for a coffee shop. We found two across the street from each other. Like at home in Washington, you don´t have to look very hard to find good coffee. We found a café with a totally open front, like a garage.

We ordered iced kopi with condensed milk. Christopher got apple juice, which was bright green and slightly sour. Beyond the overhanging café roof, the sun shone intensely bright. We were tucked back in the cool shade under fans slowly turning above our heads. Two old men sat at one of the outside tables, talking and drinking strong coffee from tiny cups. A skinny white dog crossed the empty, dust-covered street. Our waitress, a round-faced pleasant-looking young woman wearing a midnight blue hijab (head scarf), counted money at the counter. For a short period of time, I had one of those moments you strive for when travelling, totally peaceful, present, and aware. I intensely appreciated being in these exotic surroundings.

The Malaysian highway is four-lane all the way and in great shape. Beautiful countryside rolled by, hills thick with lush green plants. We passed acre upon acre of palm groves. After dropping Chris at the designated meeting place, we continued on to Kuala Lumpur. Our recently remodeled hotel was in an old part of the city, located on the corner of two alleyways. It was the nicest building in the surrounding area.

Our freshly-painted rooms were on the seventh floor. On the ceilings were drawings of bugs, our room had dragon flies, and Nani´s room had beetles. Even the light fixtures by the beds were bugs, fashioned from tea strainers and wire. These looked like giant mosquitos, an ominous warning of the night ahead.

It was already getting dark, so we stashed our luggage in the rooms and ventured out into the city in search of dinner. We entered a restaurant that served Yemen food. Two women patrons were wearing black niqabs (face veil). The evening was hot and humid and they were covered from head to toe, only their eyes were visible. It must have felt like a sauna inside those things. The waiter placed a free-standing screen around one couple, so that the wife could eat without anyone seeing her. The other woman had help from a normally-dressed friend who held the material away from her mouth for each bite. I wondered if these two women chose to wear the burqas out of religious conviction or were forced to. I assume it was a requirement for their type of Islamic faith. The food was so-so.

After dinner we walked to the Patronas Towers, huge and magnificent, lit up against the night sky. We didn´t go up into the towers, but walked around in the bottom, which is a shopping mall with expensive stores. We returned to the hotel, showered, and went to bed. At 11 p.m. we woke soaked with sweat. The air conditioner was off. I called the front desk and was told that the electricity had gone out in the entire hotel and that they were looking into it.

I made the mistake of using my Washington state reasoning and opened the window. The humidity must have been 90%. It was stifling and the sewer system in the alley below us must have been backed up, because the smell was horrid. We took turns standing under the shower to cool off, but the water was warm, so it had a minimal effect.

A flock of wild tropical mosquitos found our open window and came in to torment us. I pulled the curtains to block their buddies, turned on my mini emergency flashlight and the mosquito hunt began. Methodically we tracked down and annihilated each and every one of them. At least this activity kept our minds off how hot and miserable we were. At 5 a.m., the air conditioner sprang to life. We rejoiced. The night from hell was over.

First thing, after catching a few hours of sleep, I complained to the management, and they cut the price of our next night´s stay in half. We spent the day wandering around the city. At a posh mall, we had an excellent Japanese lunch. The entire floor was dedicated to all things Japanese. On the bottom floor the mall was promoting the film "Batman versus Superman." The Batmobile was on display and there was an arm-wrestling contest for young men.

That evening, after stuffing ourselves on chicken wings and beer at the Jalan Alor market, the three of us indulged in a Thai massage. Nani and Katie went for the foot massage and I got the full body treatment. My masseuse was a short chunky Thai woman and she knew her business. She asked me to change into a pair of black pajamas and then returned to begin her regimen of torture. She walked on my back, and up and down my arms and legs. She sat behind me and I sat between her legs and she pulled me back on top of her while twisting my arms and shoulders and jabbing me with her elbows, heels and knees. I wanted to scream out in pain. At one point she stopped and asked if I was all right. I think I was whimpering, or maybe I was begging her to stop. I didn´t realize how much pain was in my body and she found every bit of it. Surprisingly, when she was through torturing me, I felt extremely relaxed.

That night our air conditioner performed beautifully and we slept like babies. Christopher and the boy scouts showed up right on schedule, and a few hours later, we were crossing the Strait of Johor, inching our way through customs back to our temporary home in Singapore.

ED. NOTE: To see Mike´s photos of Kuala Lumpur, click on http://aretiredboomer.blogspot.ca/

Believe it or not, it´s that season again:

A REAL GOLFER

A golfer and his buddies were playing a big round of golf for $200. At the eighteenth green the golfer had a ten- foot putt to win the round, and the $200.

As he was lining up his putt, a funeral procession started to pass by. The golfer set down his putter, took off his hat, placed it over his chest, and waited for the funeral procession to pass. After it was gone, he picked up his putter and returned to lining up his putt.

One of his buddies said, "That was the most touching thing I have ever seen. I can´t believe you stopped playing, possibly losing your concentration, to pay your respects."

The golfer turned to him and said, "Well, it was the least I could do. We were married for 45 years!"

Recently I was looking for something in a seldom-used storage cabinet when I came across some letters I had written to my family while I was on my first-ever overseas holiday. I had become a teacher-librarian the previous year and was enjoying a two-month holiday when I decided to travel to Portugal. While there I kept in close touch with my mother and Judith and Jay, sharing with them my experiences while

TRAVELLING OVERSEAS

On July 2, 1971, I wrote: Here I am in Lisbon, stranded by International Travel in a hotel miles from where the action is, at a cost of - I think - about $9.00 per day! And since I don´t understand the bus system, I have to take taxis to get uptown. Talk about cheap thrills - for about 35c I can get a hair-raising ride complete with narrow escapes, screeching horns, and nasty exchanges with suicide-bent pedestrians. Exciting, to say the least, and a real challenge when it comes to relaxing.

The lighting in this room is atrocious. Add that to the fact that I am drinking Sandeman´s port (delicious!) and that this pen isn´t very dark, and it adds up to a case of shocking near-sightedness. I hope you don´t have as much trouble reading this as I have writing it. Oh for a typewriter!

As I told you on the postcard I wrote in Iceland, they stuffed us on the flight over. I ate so much that yesterday I ate nothing but the pre-packaged economy tray we picked up enroute to the Sabena aircraft that flew us from Brussels to Lisbon.

Owing to some sadistic planning, we arrived in Brussels at 4:20 a.m., long before the airline staff arrived at 6:30. And I had to wait until 12:00 o´clock for my next flight. I was utterly exhausted by that time, and slept most of the way to Lisbon. I woke up long enough to get a taxi and find my hotel, and then fell into bed. During the night I woke up and had a bath, then went back to bed.

This is a rather bare little room. It has two pallet-like beds with high hard-packed pillows that no amount of thumping will flatten; one chair, one stool, two night tables, and three inadequate fluorescent lamps. The closet is large with built-in drawers. The bathroom has the best light in the place but it smells strongly of drains, which rather robs it of its attraction as a reading room. However, the tub is large and the water is hot. No soap is supplied, so it was a good thing that I brought some. There is a bidet - for tired feet?

I had breakfast downstairs in a rather primitive dining room. No choices - just bread and rolls and marmalade and cafe au lait - half hot milk, half coffee. I like it.

I took a taxi downtown and walked for miles, mostly on cobbled sidewalks. The streets are narrow, the pavements more so. People casually walk on the streets. The traffic is mad! Cars whizz along, pedestrians scoot between them, traffic police wave. Whenever the traffic is stopped in one direction, people walk all over the street, that is immobilized. There are walk signals which people sometimes heed. I nearly got clobbered by a bus when the walk signal was green.

I bought a pair of red sandals with cork soles - I need them on those streets. They cost $10, which isn´t cheap, but they are nice. I also bought some peaches, some cheese and bread, and this port. I finally snapped a taxi from under the noses of some indignant people who hadn´t been waiting as long as I, and dragged my loot back here. I had a sleep, and then got up and made my supper from my provisions.

My impressions of Lisbon are of rushing people and screeching taxis; uniformed police with little billy clubs and pistols; formally-dressed men and even young boys in suits; small shops; tremendous statues in boulevards down the middle of one wide street; funny little trams and buses; blank-faced apartment buildings with posters plastered on their lower walls; liquor displayed in cafe and grocery windows. All very hectic and confused.

I haven´t made any firm plans yet, but one thing is sure - I won´t be driving in Lisbon! If I get a U-drive, they will have to deliver it to me outside the city.

I´m tired tonight - so much walking! Unfortunately, there are barking dogs within hearing of the hotel, and in the morning there are roosters. I told you I am far out.

I think I like the port better than the Madeira.

To be continued.

DON´T WASTE PAPER

I was visiting my daughter last night when I asked if I could borrow a newspaper.

"This is the 21st century, Dad," she said. "We don´t waste money on newspapers. Here, use my iPad."

I can tell you this - that fly never knew what hit him!

Catherine Nesbitt forwards this puzzler:

THE STOLEN CAR

The proud owner of a magnificent 1956 Chevrolet convertible wrote to say he had restored the car to perfection over the last few years, and sent this:

Last week on a very warm summer afternoon I decided to take my car to town. It needed gas, as the gauge was practically on empty, but I needed an ice cream, so I headed first to my favourite ice cream shop. I had trouble finding a parking space and had to park it down a side street. I noticed a group of young guys standing around smoking cigarettes and eyeing my car rather covetously. I was a bit uneasy leaving it there. But people often take interest in such an old and well-preserved car, so I went off to enjoy my ice cream.

The line at the ice cream shop was long, and it took me quite a while to return to my car. When I did, my worst fears were realized: My car was gone.

I called the police and reported the theft and then went back and bought a quart of pistachio ice cream. About ten minutes later the police called me to say they had found the car abandoned near a gas station a few miles out of town.

It was unharmed and I was relieved. It seems just before I called, they had received a call from a young woman who was an employee at a self-service gas station. She told them that three young men had driven in with this beautiful old convertible. One of them came to the window and prepaid for 20 dollars worth of gas.

Then all three of them walked around the car several times. They opened the hood and for a long time they all looked around inside. Then they closed the hood and walked around the car in the other direction. Then they all got in the car and drove off, without filling the tank. The police were at a loss to explain this unusual sequence of events.

The question is, why would anybody steal a car, pay for gas that they never pumped, and then abandon the car later and walk away?

Answer: They couldn´t find where to put the gas! You´d never guess in a million years where it was on this car.

It was behind the left tail light. There was a little lever you had to turn, and the tail light plunked down, and there was the cap to the gas tank. And that´s why they walked around the car and threw up their hands, got in and drove away; when they ran out of gas later, they left it there.

I like to show the younger people where you put gas in the ´49 Cadillac at the museum (same taillight except you push the small light below the big one and it pops up). It always gets a smile, and Gramps says bet your Honda doesn´t have that feature.

Tom Telfer is

NO LONGER CONFUSED

I became confused when I heard the word "Service" used with these agencies:

Revenue Canada Service

Canada Post Service

Telephone Service

Cable TV Service

Civil Service

Provincial, Municipal, City, and Public Service

Customer Service

This is not what I thought service meant.

But today, I overheard two farmers talking, and one of them said he had hired a bull to service a few cows.

BAM! It all came into focus. Now I understand what all those agencies are doing to us.

I hope that you are now just as enlightened as I am.

This site is a source of information on many subjects:

THE ENCYCLOPEDIA OF LIFE

The Encyclopedia of Life (www.eol.org/) is a free, online collaborative encyclopedia intended to document all of the 1.9 million living species known to science. It is compiled from existing databases and from contributions by experts and non-experts throughout the world. It aims to build one "infinitely expandable" page for each species, including video, sound, images, graphics, as well as text. In addition, the Encyclopedia incorporates content from the Biodiversity Heritage Library, which digitizes millions of pages of printed literature from the world´s major natural history libraries.

The project was initially backed by a US$50 million funding commitment, led by the MacArthur Foundation and the Sloan Foundation, who provided US$20 million and US$5 million, respectively. The additional US$25 million came from five cornerstone institutions - the Field Museum, Harvard University, the Marine Biological Laboratory, the Missouri Botanical Garden, and the Smithsonian Institution.

James Edwards, EOL Executive Director based at the Smithsonian Institution in Washington, said everyone from scientists to schoolchildren could use the EOL as a field guide, or contribute a photograph or an observation of an animal in an area where it was not found before, in some cases a sign of a changing climate.

The Encyclopedia is aiding scientists who look at human aging, for instance, by examining the widely differing lifespans of related species.

A Latin American bat, Tadarida brasiliensis, lives far longer than mice relatives of a similar size, perhaps because its body has a mechanism that limits damage to protein in its cells. And some butterflies that feed on fruit live longer than related species.

"It´s working really nicely. The community of scientists working on aging have adopted the EOL," Edwards said.

And the Encyclopedia was seeking to help combat pests such as the moth from the Balkans that has spread fast across Europe in the past two decades. It attacks the leaves of horse chestnut trees and makes them brown by mid-summer.

"The moth, Cameraria Ohridella, or leaf miner, is now more or less throughout Europe and poses a threat to ecosystems in Southeast Asia, North America, and elsewhere - wherever the beautiful horse chestnut trees occur," said David Lees of the Natural History Museum in London and French agricultural research group INRA.

The EOL said it would help "public recognition and awareness of such invasive species through detailed descriptions and maps, helping to slow their global spread and enable more rapid and effective remedial measures."

And the EOL is trying to help researchers find out how global warming may affect species, such as by making them move to cooler habitats.

A problem for many biologists is that they often study just one species, so do not know if their findings apply more widely, said James Hanken, director of the Harvard Museum of Comparative Zoology and chair of the EOL Steering Committee.

"There are often studies of individual species - insects or frogs or bird - but people don´t have access to information about other species in the same area," he said. "This holds back studies of climate change on biodiversity."

Among other projects, the encyclopedia is aiming to expand with fossil species. And it is working on regional versions focused on life in Australia, the Netherlands, and China.

THE NEW CEO

A company, feeling it was time for a shakeup, hired a new CEO. The new boss was determined to rid the company of all slackers.

On a tour of the facilities, the CEO noticed a guy leaning against a wall and idly picking his teeth. The room was full of workers, and he wanted to let them know that he meant business. He asked the guy, "How much money do you make a week?"

A little surprised, the young man looked at him and said, "I make a little over $400 a week. Why?"

The CEO said, "Wait right here."

He walked back to his office, came back in two minutes, and handed the guy $1,600 in cash, and said, "Here´s four weeks´ pay. Now GET OUT and don´t come back."

Feeling pretty good about himself, the CEO looked around the room and asked, "Does anyone want to to tell me what that goof-ball did here?"

From across the room a voice said, "Sure. He was the pizza delivery guy from Domino´s and was just waiting to collect the money."

SUGGESTED WEBSITES

Barbara Wear forwards this link to a video of an award-winning short animation of high-diving giraffes performing spectacular maneuvers:

Barbara also sends the URL for a commercial starring dogs which must have needed many takes before coming up with the finished ad:

For spectacular shots of the Canadian Rockies, click on Jimmy Dau´s website at

Keep these ways in mind to keep your computer virus-free:

Shirley the elephant finally finds a permanent home and a long-lost friend:

Hundreds of stray dogs in Costa Rica are sheltered in Territorio de Zaquates (the Land of Stray Dogs), a no-kill sanctuary where they can run free forever, or until they are adopted:

To sign a petition demanding that Prime Minister Trudeau clamp down on tax havens and to make sure that everyone, including the rich and powerful, pay their fair share of tax, click on

In this TED talk, John Green speaks about a community of learning that he found in online videos:

Erik Ohlsen takes you on a tour of an edible oasis he created on a 1/3 acre asphalt lot, encouraging you to think about sustainable living for small-town and suburban life. In the face of drought, fire, peak oil, energy depletion, soil depletion and more, he shows what you can you do to live a more eco-friendly life:

To check out the features of the "freedictionary", which changes daily, go to