Home  >> Stories  >> The Tale Spinner #2016-16

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IN THIS ISSUE

• Kate Brookfield resumes her blog about their spring holiday
• We get letters from Carol Hansen and Jean Sterling
• The editor continues her account of a trip overseas
• Tony Lewis forwards a blonde joke
• Bruce Galway has a solution to make things look better
• Catherine Nesbitt shares some dumb quotes
• Sites are suggested by Barbara Wear, Shirley Conlon, and Tom Telfer

Kate Brookfield resumes her travel notes taken from her blog at Word Press:

SPRING HOLIDAY

We left the Dominican Republic on "The Zenith" of the Bar-Pullmantur Cruise line on March 30th, but as we had no WIFI on board, I could not continue my blog until we reached Gibraltar on April 9th.

A bit about the ship first. The French line, whose name I have forgotten, was taken over recently by the U.S. line Pullmantur. There were very few passengers, reason not known. We were told different numbers from 84 to 120, but it has the capacity to take 2,000.

The few passengers meant we got to know people better than on previous voyages with thousands of passengers. The crew of 700 meant plenty of helpers. It also meant they were forever banging, scraping, and painting the ship, which was a bit of a nuisance at times. The ship came into Dominican in the morning and was sailing out again at 5:00 p.m., so all the cleaning was done at sea.

We had booked the cheapest inside cabin, but because of the low numbers, we were upgraded to a cabin with an outside view.

NOTE: To see photos from their time on shipboard, click on http://wp.me/p7neuK-1q

Sunday April 10th - Our one day in Gibraltar was a wash-out, literally! It rained all day, with a few very small patches when the rain stopped.

We got a local bus to the Spain-Gibraltar border. It is very strange to drive across the airport runway which is controlled by traffic lights only! At the border we must show passports but they don´t really look at them.

Because of the rain and winds at the top, the cable car to the top of the rock was cancelled. A tour guide offered to take us by car for the same price as the cable car, but he wanted eight passengers, and we didn´t feel like hanging around in the rain in the unlikely event six others would come.

So we walked around the city area in the rain. Did I say, on Sundays all shops are closed? So we missed the opportunity to shop at M&S with 50% off! Everything in Gibraltar is very British - language, money, and old red British pillar boxes and telephone kiosks. But they do drive on the right!

At first we started to walk uphill to the old Moor castle. The Moors were here for years, but were chased out by the Spanish. The rain was heavy, the steps up to the castle were steep and slippery, so I had to call a halt. My hip was playing up and I didn´t want to risk overdoing it and making it worse.

I´m beginning to see that Mike has included a lot of ancient monuments in his places-to-visit plans! But as he does all the work planning and booking places to stay, I can´t and don´t complain.

We found a good restaurant called the Gibraltar Arms. The walls were decorated with many coats of arms - I´m not sure if they were from ships or famous families. However, they offered a typical British Sunday roast beef dinner. I ordered a child´s menu and there was too much, but very good, especially the horse radish sauce, but the Yorkshire pudding was inedible! Mike had sausage, and the meal came with a mug of black tea. It was the best cuppa I´ve had since leaving home.

Next we went looking for a museum but all were closed! We found a church and went in to find it full of worshippers. We thought it was people like us sheltering from the storm, but then they opened the double doors and brought in a coffin.

We continued our exploration and came to a graveyard where many British mariners killed at the Battle of Trafalgar are buried and memorialized.

Nearby is the Gibraltar Botanical Garden. Not only was it free admission, it was very interesting, with memorials to Wellington and Molly Bloom, from Ulysses. Did you know the latter was born in Gibraltar? There is an outside theatre, and a Children´s Garden Club area. These garden planting by and for children are becoming popular. The Botanic Garden in Hamilton has one. I love them. Please see photos for details.

I took lots of photos on Apple devices and camera, so it takes time to organize them all. At this time there are not too many flowers at ground level, but flowering shrubs and trees are starting. The wisteria, my favourite, is in full bloom now, and fruit trees are spreading wonderful natural perfume in the air.

I learned that a particularly tall tree in the garden is really a lily, not a palm tree. I liked the succulent area and the i.d. labelling. The climate is particularly suited, and many were flowering and fruiting. It is not often one sees aloe in flower.

The sun even peeped out once or twice. The wildlife part was closed - but we did see a couple of monkeys. The Gibraltar Barbary macaques are considered by many to be the top tourist attraction in Gibraltar. A friend made on the cruise told us one jumped on her back the last time she visited Gibraltar, so I did not miss not seeing them running wild!

There were also seagulls nesting in the cliff area. Other birds seen were Sardinian warbler and English blackbird. Not seen was the Hoopoe, but a picture of it claimed it was there. So we did our first garden of this Gardens of Spain tour!

We went back to the Gibraltar Arms for another mug of tea and a cake. The slice of carrot cake I had was huge, and it came with a large scoop of ice cream. Michael had apple pie that came swimming in custard and a large scoop of ice cream.

So now we are back at the hotel. I have to go down to the reception area to get WIFI. Tomorrow we leave early to get the fast train to Cordoba. Next blog from there.

NOTE: For photos of Gibraltar, click on http://wp.me/p7neuK-1k

April 11th - Got up early to get to railway station in good time. The train was not the super new fast train we thought. It was an old train that smelled of stale smoke, although smoking is not allowed. But every time it stopped, the smokers stood in the doorway puffing away.

The journey took three hours. The weather was still cloudy and wet. There was a range of mountains one side - the Cantabrian Mountains - and olive trees the other. Cordoba is a central city in the Spanish region of Andalusia. Its main attraction is a 10th century mosque built when the Moors (Muslims) controlled this area. Before the Moors, the Romans were here.

The Romans built a walled city and a bridge over the river with several water mills. The Muslim society was very sophisticated and introduced advanced science, medicine, and new and better agriculture. When the Christians took over Spain, the mosque was turned into a cathedral.

The wide river, the Guadalquvir, runs through the centre of the city.

After checking in to our hotel, we walked along the side of the river. Like yesterday, it was raining off and on and not really very good for photographs. We went to the museum of The Tower of La Calahorra. It is on the east side of the river and formed an impressive gate to the main Islamic city and famous mosque built on the west side in the 9th century. Its name comes from Arabic meaning "free fortress."

On our return walk on the east side we went to the Botanical Gardens. They were disappointing. Either they had big plans and ran out of money, or they are just starting, as there was not much to see. Maybe the European Union money has dried up?

Tomorrow we plan to look at the mosque, and if it is still raining, we will do the Archeological Museum.

NOTE: For photos of Cordoba, click on http://wp.me/p7neuK-1u

Also check this site out for more pictures of flowers in Cordoba: http://tinyurl.com/z7arfe2

To be continued.

CORRESPONDENCE

Carol Hansen forwards this note from Barbara Wear´s friend, Peg Estabrook: "Barb asked me to let you know all went well with her surgery. She had a bypass and a valve replacement. I will try to keep you informed."

Carol adds: "Barbara had told me about the valve replacement and the carotid procedure, but I am surprised to learn about the bypass.

"Anyone who wishes to send Barbara a card can send it to her home address, and her family will take it to her when they visit:

"235 Essex St., Beverly, MA 01015-1938"

Jean Sterling, referring to the piece in last week´s issue about various services, writes about their dog: "Abby thinks that the United States Postal Service is the United States Treat Delivery Service."

ED. NOTE: Either Jean is now buying dog food online, or their postie carries dog treats to ensure that dogs on her route are happy to see her.

I sent my next letter from Portugal to my family on my first experience of

TRAVELLING OVERSEAS

July 4, 1971: I have walked a million miles since I wrote last, and that was a mistake because my feet have forsaken me. They objected to the cobblestones, I guess. Anyway, blisters have broken out all over. Enough of that - tomorrow I go back to wheels!

I have been lost so many times in Lisbon I have lost count, and the natives regarded me strangely as I traipsed through their back yards. I have seen the narrow streets, the tenements, the apartments, and the people, and I have smelled the pungent odours and felt the rocky surfaces of Lisbon, but I have probably missed all the things I should have seen - the museums, the art galleries, and the churches.

Today I did take a taxi to the Castello do St. Jorge, from which you can see all over the city and the river and the seven hills on which it is built. And the thing that impressed me most was my sore feet!

Actually, it was very impressive, and the weather was lovely. This was the first day the sun has shone since I arrived, and there was a nice fresh breeze. The other days were overcast and muggy.

My reservation in this hotel is over tomorrow, and I have arranged for a U-drive to pick me up at 10:00 a.m. They are to deposit me out of the city, in which I haven´t the guts to drive. Vancouver is going to be a snap after this!

I am getting to be quite a wino, what with the inadvisability of drinking the water and the impossibility of buying a single glass of wine. We have to buy a half bottle, and my natural frugality forbids my leaving any of it! (That´s about two and a half glasses.)

I had lunch at an outdoor cafe today - a cheese sandwich on a miniature french loaf - and a bottle of rose wine. Then tonight at dinner, which I finished at the favourite Portuguese hour of 10:00 p.m., I had another bottle of light white wine. If I don´t get fat with all this bread and wine, it will be a miracle.

What they say about Portuguese men and their "more or less open admiration of women" is true enough. Many of them mutter something as they pass, but I have no trouble pretending I don´t understand them - I don´t! I wondered how they knew I was a touriste (they hand me brochures in English!) until I realized I am taller than half the population, men included, and my complexion is so white compared to nearly everyone else that is obvious I am not a native. And of course, my outlandish clothes are a dead giveaway. Most of the European women are wearing skirts below their knees. I wear my slacks (not my hot pants!)

Tomorrow I head north, and I hope these mad drivers are confined to Lisbon. But I have my doubts.

July 5: Here I am at the end of Europe - well, not quite, but this place juts out into the Atlantic - next stop, North America! I am at Ericeira, north-west of Lisbon, if anyone is ambitious enough to look it up.

I did not get here by the direct route - far from it. I left the hotel this morning at 11:00, abandoned to the traffic with instructions on how to get out of the city that I couldn´t mistake - but I did! The first thing I knew, I was down town, but fortunately the river was there and I knew if I followed it I would eventually end up in the direction I wanted. I drove along the coast route in my little Austin 1000, and then headed inland for Sintra - I thought.

However, before I reached it - if I ever did - I saw how the natives live. I wandered up hill and down, completely lost - scooting through little villages where the people know enough to stay off the roads, because the drivers are ruthless. People looked vaguely surprised to see me driving alone - there aren´t too many of us women´s lib types here - but they were even more surprised when I passed them shortly after, going in the other direction!

But believe it or not, I arrived where I was headed, at Ericeira, where the sun is shining brightly and a stiff breeze is blowing. (Not now, because it is 9:40, but it was when I arrived at 4:00 p.m.) I found a room in a little place that is really quaint. You should see the bathroom! No soap, no towels; overhead tank with pull chain; hip bath, and the inevitable bidet. The room smells damp, but it has a little private balcony where I began to work on a tan.

At dinner tonight, which took over an hour, I had a very nice piece of fish - no choice of menu - and was contemplating dessert, when the main course arrived! I ate it too, to sop up the half bottle of wine I was drinking. This time I downed the whole thing.

This room has three tiny lights, but one is on the night table, where I am writing this. They evidently don´t expect one to spend much time in one´s room, but I have a feeling that the unescorted women just don´t go out alone at night.

In the morning I will look around. I don´t know how long I´ll stay here - it seems restful.

The other people at dinner seemed to be French and English, with one very Scottish voice thrown it. The staff speak little English, but they´re kind and helpful. The rest of the population I don´t know about because I´ve not met any yet.

The lights have just flicked off twice - I wonder if they turn them off at 10:00 o´clock! I´m tired and shall go to bed soon. I wish I had something to read!

Until next time, stay well!

To be continued.

Tony Lewis, knowing that we haven´t had a blonde joke for a long time, forwards this:

THE PORCH

A blonde teenage girl, wanting to earn some extra money for the summer, decided to hire herself out as a handywoman, and started canvassing a nearby well-to-do neighborhood.

She went to the front door of the first house, and asked the owner if he had any odd jobs for her to do.

"Well, I guess I could use somebody to paint my porch," he said. "How much will you charge me?"

Delighted, the girl quickly responded, "How about $50?"

The man agreed and told her that the paint brushes and everything she would need were in the garage. The man´s wife, hearing the conversation, said to her husband, "Does she realize that our porch goes all the way around the house?"

He responded, "That´s a bit cynical, isn´t it?"

The wife replied, "You´re right.... I guess I´m starting to believe all those dumb blonde jokes."

Later that day, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.

"You´re finished already?" the startled husband asked.

"Yes," the blonde replied, "and I even had paint left over, so I gave it two coats."

Impressed, the man reached into his pocket for the $50.00 and handed it to her along with a ten dollar tip.

"And by the way," the blonde added, ´it´s not a Porch - it´s a Lexus."

Bruce Galway sends this short verse:

SOLUTION

My face in the mirror isn´t wrinkled or drawn.
My house isn´t dirty.
The cobwebs are gone.
My garden looks lovely,
And so does my lawn.
I think I might never
Put my glasses back on.

Catherine Nesbitt sends these quotations to make you feel better

WHEN YOU ARE FEELING STUPID

"It isn´t pollution that´s harming the environment. It´s the impurities in our air and water that are doing it." - Al Gore, Vice President

"I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix." - Dan Quayle

"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I´m just the one to do it. - A congressional candidate inTexas.

"We´ve got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?" - Lee Iacocca

"We don´t necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of people." - Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor.

"Traditionally, most of Australia ´s imports come from overseas." - Keppel Enderbery

"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country. - Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC.

"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can´t help but cry. I mean I´d love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff. - Mariah Carey

"Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances." - Department of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina

SUGGESTED WEBSITES

Barbara Wear directs people who suffer from compulsive overeating to the website of Overeaters Association, which offers help to those with problems with food. Check it out at

Shirley Conlon sends this link to a video of Martin Hurkens singing "Ave Maria" in a square in Holland:

Tom Telfer forwards the URL for a musical story that takes us through a beautiful life-cycle:

When a woman couldn´t decide which dogs to rescue from a rundown shelter, she bought the whole place - and intends to save all 250 of them. Danielle Eden and her husband regularly visit animal shelters, choosing dogs that are living in the worst conditions to bring home to their 50-acre Dog Tales sanctuary in King City, Ontario. There they get long walks, training, and medical care before being placed in new homes:

Everyone knows farming requires hard physical labor. While Apricot Lane Farms has a lot of excellent farmhands, none have been as memorable as Chris. Hear Chris´ extraordinary story in this video:

In this TED talk, Rob Hopkins, founder of the Transition movement, tells how his town tackled the problems of underemployment and declining incomes and the threat of climate change, and how their solutions have spread all over the world:

Baking soda can be used in many ways, while protecting ourselves from the array of toxins in household cleaning products and personal care products:

To check out the features of the "freedictionary", which changes daily, go to