Home  >> Stories  >> The Tale Spinner #2016-38

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IN THIS ISSUE

• Sheldon Campbell writes about his heroic father
• We get letters from Jean Sterline and Kate Brookfield
• Barbara Wear forwards tips to protect yourself from burglars
• Betty Audet sends some clever bumper stickers
• Shirley Conlon shares these stories about kids and grandparents
• The editor once again asks for contributions
• Sites are suggested by Bruce Galway, Don Henderson, Shirley Coutts, and Tom Telfer

In this issue of HeroicStories, Sheldon Campbell writes about his father, who believed in

ONE RACE

It was 1958 in Deep Creek, Virginia. I was six years old, and my father was, like most fathers are to their sons, a superhero to me. It never occurred to me that he had a reason to fear anything, because he never showed any fear. My sister came running into the house, hollering that a bunch of men with guns were outside.

My dad took a look outside and his face darkened a bit. He stuffed his revolver into his back pocket, and as he went out the door, told us to go to the kitchen and stay there.

My mom and my sister looked scared, and kept pulling me back as I tried to get to the window to watch. Although I never got a very good look, I remember seeing a lot of men with rifles, shotguns and torches, some of them wearing white robes with hoods. There was a lot of shouting and a fair amount of cussing. Since my dad was a sailor, I recognized some of that.

Finally I heard my dad tell them that if they didn´t get off his property right then, and never come back, he´d guarantee that at least six of them would never see their families again.

This had started when my father intervened when a group of young bullies were roughing up a much younger black kid from down the road. These men were telling my dad that he was forgetting his place, and he´d better remember the way things were.

My dad was white, raised in Meridian, Mississippi, during the depression, and he knew very well "how things were." But he had also shared foxholes in Guadalcanal, Iwo Jima, and Korea, with other soldiers, who were scared just like him, missing their families like him, and sick of killing, just like him. Some of them were white like him, and some of them were black, brown, or yellow. But they all bled red, just like him. And they all got cold, hungry, sick and sad - just like him.

My father never took his gun out of his pocket that day. But apparently, the men believed him because they left, grumbling and waving their guns. And they never came back. I wasn´t old enough to know how dangerous the situation was that day.

My father always taught me that all you really had to do was what you knew was right - and then things would pretty much take care of themselves. He proved it that day, and on many other occasions.

Dad was raised in a bigoted culture, by bigots, and taught how to act like a bigot. Everything about Mississippi in the depression years screamed of racism. He was taught to believe in only one race.

I guess all those foxhole buddies of his helped confirm that, because to the day he died, he only believed in one race: the Human Race.

ED. NOTE: to comment on this story, or to get your own free subscription to Heroic Stories, click on

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CORRESPONDENCE

Jean Sterling comments on my statement in last week´s story about printing that the bus rides were the most exciting things about my working in Quebec:

This reminded me of my bus trip from Montreal to St. Jovite (near Mount Tremblant). It was a three-lane road. I assume that the middle lane was for passing, though the bus drove mainly in the middle lane. If a car had the audacity to be in the middle lane, because they were passing, the bus driver would simply lean on the horn, and the car would scoot over. The bus was bigger than the cars, and nobody dared quibble with the bus. I was sitting in the front seat near the driver, and I must say it was an exciting ride.

Kate Brookfield writes: Thank you for your summary of your life achievements. I´ve heard bits and pieces over the years, but nice to see it so neatly summarised in chronological order! You are a super woman.

Incidentally, my driving instructor was a print setter in Fleet Street. I expect you know Fleet St. was where all the newspapers were located. He was the husband of a fellow Girl Guide leader who had decided to give up his night-time job and start giving driving lessons. I was his first client. As he was in transition, my lesson was to drive him to Fleet Street in downtown London from the northern suburb of Hendon. I got the tube home! This was in the 1960s, so no big motorways, lots of first-gear crawling along! I did have weekend day-time lessons and passed my test first time ... not usual in those days!

I got my first car for 100 pounds, a Hillman Minx!

ED. NOTE: Back in the olden days, as Jay calls the 1930s, we didn´t have formal driving lessons. My mother never drove, and my father was working in the bush, so other drivers taught me, and I probably picked up their bad habits. I drove for 69 years before I gave up my car at the age of 85.

Barbara Wear forwards these hints about safety:

THIRTEEN THINGS YOUR BURGLAR WON´T TELL YOU

1. Of course I look familiar. I was here just last week cleaning your carpets, painting your shutters, or delivering your new refrigerator.

2. Hey, thanks for letting me use the bathroom when I was working in your yard last week. While I was in there, I unlatched the back window to make my return a little easier.

3. Love those flowers. That tells me you have taste ... and taste means there are nice things inside. Those yard toys your kids leave out always make me wonder what type of gaming system they have.

4. Yes, I really do look for newspapers piled up on the driveway. And I might leave a pizza flyer in your front door to see how long it takes you to remove it.

5. If it snows while you´re out of town, get a neighbour to create car and foot tracks into the house. Virgin drifts in the driveway are a dead giveaway.

6. If decorative glass is part of your front entrance, don´t let your alarm company install the control pad where I can see if it´s set. That makes it too easy.

7. A good security company alarms the window over the sink. And the windows on the second floor, which often access the master bedroom - and your jewelry. It´s not a bad idea to put motion detectors up there too.

8. It´s raining, you´re fumbling with your umbrella, and you forget to lock your door - understandable. But understand this: I don´t take a day off because of bad weather.

9. I always knock first. If you answer, I´ll ask for directions somewhere or offer to clean your gutters. (Don´t take me up on it.)

10. Do you really think I won´t look in your sock drawer? I always check dresser drawers, the bedside table, and the medicine cabinet.

11. Here´s a helpful hint: I almost never go into kids´ rooms.

12. You´re right: I won´t have enough time to break into that safe where you keep your valuables. But if it´s not bolted down, I´ll take it with me.

13. A loud TV or radio can be a better deterrent than the best alarm system. If you´re reluctant to leave your TV on while you´re out of town, you can buy a $35 device that works on a timer and simulates the flickering glow of a real television. (Find it at http://www.faketv.com/)

Betty Audet sends these

BUMPER STICKERS

If you can read this, I can slam on my brakes and sue you!

Jesus loves you, but everyone else thinks you´re a jerk.

You´re just jealous because the voices are talking to me and not you!

Don´t piss me off! I´m running out of places to hide the bodies.

You are depriving some poor village of its idiot.

My Hockey Mom Can Beat Up Your Soccer Mom

I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

I need someone really bad.... Are you really bad?

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

Where there´s a will, I want to be in it.

It´s lonely at the top, but you eat better.

Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.

Always remember you´re unique - just like everyone else.

PAYING IT FORWARD

The servers at Hudsons, a bar in Edmonton, are a generous bunch - and so is the patron who gave them a $1000 tip. The patron told them he had enjoyed the service, and when it was time to pay, added the eye-popping tip to his tab.

When the servers received the windfall, they decided it wasn´t right to divide up the money among them. Instead, they donated it to Edmonton´s Stollery Children´s Hospital.

Server Celeste Bouchard said the man was choosing to be generous, and that it was important to pay it forward.

Shirley Conlon sends these little stories about

KIDS AND THEIR GRANDPARENTS

She was in the bathroom, putting on her makeup, under the watchful eyes of her young granddaughter, as she´d done many times before. After she applied her lipstick and started to leave, the little one said, "But Grandma, you forgot to kiss the toilet paper good-bye!" I will probably never put lipstick on again without thinking about kissing the toilet paper good-bye....

My young grandson called the other day to wish me Happy Birthday. He asked me how old I was, and I told him, 80. My grandson was quiet for a moment, and then he asked, "Did you start at one?"

After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother changed into old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair. As she heard the children getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew thin. Finally, she threw a towel around her head and stormed into their room, putting them back to bed with stern warnings. As she left the room, she heard the three-year-old say with a trembling voice, "Who was THAT?"

A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her own childhood was like. "We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods." The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this all in. At last she said, "I sure wish I´d gotten to know you sooner!"

My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, "Grandma, do you know how you and God are alike?" I mentally polished my halo and I said, "No, how are we alike?´´ "You´re both old," he replied.

A little girl was diligently pounding away on her grandfather´s word processor. She told him she was writing a story. "What´s it about?" he asked. "I don´t know," she replied. "I can´t read."

I didn´t know if my granddaughter had learned her colours yet, so I decided to test her. I would point out something and ask what colour it was. She would tell me and was always correct. It was fun for me, so I continued. At last, she headed for the door, saying, "Grandma, I think you should try to figure out some of these colours yourself!"

When my grandson Billy and I entered our vacation cabin, we kept the lights off until we were inside to keep from attracting pesky insects. Still, a few fireflies followed us in. Noticing them before I did, Billy whispered, "It´s no use, Grandpa. Now the mosquitoes are coming after us with flashlights."

When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied, "I´m not sure." "Look in your underwear, Grandpa," he advised. "Mine says I´m 4 to 6."

A second grader came home from school and said to her grandmother, "Grandma, guess what? We learned how to make babies today." The grandmother, more than a little surprised, tried to keep her cool. "That´s interesting," she said. "How do you make babies?" "It´s simple," replied the girl. "You just change ´y´ to ´i´ and add ´es´."

Children´s Logic: "Give me a sentence about a public servant," said a teacher. The small boy wrote: "The fireman came down the ladder pregnant." The teacher took the lad aside to correct him. "Don´t you know what pregnant means?" she asked. "Sure," said the young boy confidently. ´It means carrying a child."

A grandfather was delivering his grandchildren to their home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children started discussing the dog´s duties. "They use him to keep crowds back," said one child. "No," said another. "He´s just for good luck." A third child brought the argument to a close. "They use the dogs," she said firmly, "to find the fire hydrants."

A six-year-old was asked where his grandma lived. "Oh," he said, "she lives at the airport, and when we want her, we just go get her. Then, when we´re done having her visit, we take her back to the airport."

Grandpa is the smartest man on earth! He teaches me good things, but I don´t get to see him enough to get as smart as him!

FROM THE EDITOR´S DESKTOP

If you have something interesting to write about - your health, your adaptation to aging, your pets, your travels, your hobbies, your computer problems - there are blank pages in the Spinner waiting to be filled. I know they also serve, who only sit and read, but I would appreciate something more active than that. So please, fire up your computers and send me your stories! There are readers out there who are just waiting to hear from you, as well as an anxious editor.

SUGGESTED SITES

Bruce Galway forwards this link to a video in which Las Vegas magician Mac King shows us an astonishing rope trick:

Don Henderson sends the URL for a video of a triple spiral structure composed of 15,000 dominoes decomposing in a stunning fall:

Shirley Coutts forwards this link to a British commercial for a vacuum cleaner which is very funny:

Tom Telfer suggests this video of People Are Awesome, 2016:

Tom also sends this link to a Britain´s Got Talent show, in which illusionist Darcy Oake makes doves appear out of nowhere, and has an ever bigger trick up his sleeve:

Sole Food Street Farms is a successful urban agriculture initiative in Vancouver that supports the City´s Greenest City goal for creating a healthy, sustainable food system:

The fight against Canada´s public health care is now before the courts. To stand up for people over profits, sign this petition:

To ask Prime Minister Trudeau to reject the Kinder Morgan pipeline, which would see a huge increase in oil tankers in Vancouver´s pristine waters, click on

This site discusses the top 10 alternative energy sources of the future:

From the Huffington Post, here are some surprising animal thieves:

Check out these foods that taste much better when frozen:

To check out the features of the "freedictionary," which changes daily, go to