Home  >> Stories  >> The Tale Spinner #2016-45

---

IN THIS ISSUE

• Maurice Audet continues his memoirs about life in a war camp
• Burke Dykes sends a story about memory loss
• Kate Brookfield knits teddy bears for traumatized children
• Forgetting is part of growing older
• This article claims that technology will change our lives completely
• Shirley Conlon forwards these groaners
• Sites are suggested by Bruce Galway, Judy Lee, Tom Telfer, Tom Williamson, and Tony Lewis

Maurice Audet continues his story of?

LIFE IN A PRISON CAMP

During the first six months, we had variety shows on Saturday nights. The twenty-four guards sat in front. One night, the lights were turned off. On the stage was something looking like a car with flashlights in tin cans out front. As the flashlight glare hit the guards, they pulled out their guns. Our middle man quickly cooled them down before a shot was fired. Another time, from the back of the hall dashed a bunch of cowboys, holding wooden guns, yelling and making noises sounding like gun shots, while they rode Chinese-style makeshift horses. The guards jumped to their feet, facing the rear, ready for action. Again, our middle man had to move fast.

However, the atmosphere became more and more somber. At one point, we had thirteen between life and death. To boost the morale, twelve of us formed a Burbage Club, playing comedies. We kept performing until the end of the war. The armed guards sat in the first row. Although they could not understand a word, they kept coming every time. Since nobody wanted the female roles, I took them. I also acted in a number of all-male presentations. One night, we performed two one-act plays. During the first, I sneaked out, dressed as a spinster, and surprised the ladies with a short solo performance, as a thank-you for making the costume. I returned safely without anyone knowing of my escapade. The executive might have frowned at such a dangerous frivolity.

Since 1945, the Japanese have had plenty of occasions to learn about foreign humour, especially the American type.

The food consisted mainly of millet, a grain-like bird seed. Once a month, there was a dish of sugar on the table. Occasionally we were served partially-boiled pork. As a result, several developed worms of various types. It took me a year and a half to get rid of tape worm. During one season, carrots became the staple food. An "artist" posted his masterpiece, "Carrot Camp." The whole building was made of carrots, including a carrot bed on which a prisoner was dreaming of carrots. An officer reported "the crime." A detachment of top brass marched ominously into the hall to examine the offensive piece of art. The next morning, an irate commander stomped onto the platform and blasted the ingrates who were not thankful for the food taken from the mouths of Japanese people. Threats were issued. Nobody turned in the culprit.

The powdered milk became handy in July. In a small shack, there was an old bicycle. My roommate and I took off the rear wheel and rigged the bike to a spinning barrel. I managed to convince the Japanese captain that we needed ice to make cool refreshing water while we were digging against possible Russian bombing. Those who were interested had to provide a tablespoon of powder in order to share in our final product. We closed ourselves in the shack, working alternately at spinning the rig and watching for guards. It was more strenuous than digging, but the result was worth the sweating. I would not compare it with our supermarket products, but after years without, it was a delicious treat.

For a while, relations were tense; our appointed diplomat managed to ease the tension. Somebody found a solution to the carrot problem. The overripe ones were boiled until they yielded a kind of fudge. Rotting potatoes were crushed and given a watery treatment until they produced starch, which was used to make puddings.

The Belgians were moved to another city. The rest of us were transferred to a bishopric adjacent to the women´s compound. The latter were permitted to take over the kitchen. A French-Canadian bread oven was built. The guards were delighted with the improvement. Those who were relieved of night duty went home with a loaf or two.

After his release, Leopold, who lived in town, organized a network of food smuggling, mostly through the kitchen at night. My roommate was very ingenious. With scraps of wood he made a cage with a trapdoor to catch pigeons. Thousands of them fed on fallen grain at the railroad station nearby. During the last three years, we caught five hundred pigeons. He also built a heater with mud and wire. The cage was placed on top of the roof through a trapdoor. Each day we had pigeon stew that was cooked between five and six . A thankful guest received an invitation every day.

In the fall we collected tree leaves, dried them, and used them as Christmas decorations in our "Ritz Carleton." After the oven was built we added cookies for dessert. With flour dropped over the walls, the dough was prepared in our room. Next came the most dangerous stage, taking it to the oven and back, The main building was at least one hundred feet from the oven. We took turns at watching and carrying. We were never caught.

We smuggled peanuts, at a time they were reserved for the Japanese army. After retrieving the peanuts near the wall, I put them in a Japanese cigarette box. My companion signalled "Clear." I headed for the staircase to our room. Once, the captain came out of the washroom just as I was about to dash upstairs. "What´s that?" I pointed to the Japanese characters on the box and kept climbing. He did not call me back. With the help of a grinder borrowed from the kitchen, we made peanut butter, taking turns holding the chair on which the grinder was clamped. The only table we had was a flimsy home-made folding one.

One day, a Japanese officer came to the camp with a litter of German Shepherd pups to be trained for night surveillance. Something had to be done. Our smuggling was threatened. I took it upon myself to spoil the attempt. The dogs were kept in a closed area. Our dining room was outside the main building. Every day, dragging behind at lunchtime, I entered the area and beat the dogs with my belt. One night, thinking the dogs were ready, the officer released them. As they smelled the foreigners walking in the yard, they scampered back to safety, howling. The officer lamented, "I was told they were thoroughbreds. What´s wrong with them?" "You can´t trust the Germans," I said. "They gave you a pack of lemons."

A large map of the Pacific displayed the advance of the Japanese. Every morning, a guard moved small flags forward. Six months later the flags stuck. The Japanese were not gaining, but losing ground I asked an officer, "What´s wrong with the flags? They are not moving any more." The map disappeared during the night.

I had made up my mind to stay away from those who were depressed. At night, instead of playing cards in the hall, listening to somber talk, I went to bed. Early up, I studied Chinese writing, rehearsed parts for the comedies, joined in organized activities outside, and helped my companion with his contraptions. He built cages and was granted permission to raise rabbits. They multiplied beyond all expectations. My roommate inspired respect and admiration from the guards. He had caught a pair of weasels and managed to deal with them in such a way that struck the superstitious Japanese with awe.

Another Canadian turned our "safe" radio into a shortwave. At 11:30 p.m., in a small cubicle, he started catching American broadcasts from Chunking, South China. News was written on slips of paper and placed in a drawer. The tables had turned on the Japanese. Every morning, the radio was returned to its spot for the usual pro-Japanese reports.

We even heard that Red Cross representatives were being allowed to visit the camps. We understood why there had been activity to make our camp more presentable. Packages, which had been in warehouses, finally reached us. Since some of us had died, the guards expected to receive their share. Our executive made the mistake of insisting that the packages were meant for us, not them. The distribution was delayed for several weeks.

Since the packages contained cigarettes, those who did not smoke took advantage of the bonanza to trade cigarettes for cans of meat. The reserve under my bed was swollen considerably. Thus, the war ended in a quite pleasant atmosphere. More food for the body and happy news from the secret radio operator lifted the morale.

Finally, the Red Cross representative rode into the camp with a caravan of Japanese, bearing their reports on their super humane treatment of the prisoners. The representative met with members of our executive, in front of the Japanese. Our executive had prepared its own report, much to the surprise of the Japanese. They did not expect us to know about the visit. The representative said that he could not take the report, but would listen to its reading.

There is no record of physical torture in our camp. Only once, a guard hit a prisoner. Others immediately seized him, took him to the commander and explained the incident. The guard was transferred.

Being civilians, we had an advantage over the military. We did not have to prove that we were big and strong. Even Japanese soldiers responded favourably to a civil approach. The guards expected antagonism and resistance; they found compliance and comprehension. There was no room for a show of force; they were disarmed. The executive had explained that any attempt to escape would endanger those left behind. It would have been easy to go over the wall and find refuge among the Chinese in the countryside.

As the war dragged on, many prisoners took ill with Manchu fever. Manchu fever was especially hard on foreigners, who developed a high fever for three to four weeks. If the patient had a weak part in his system, the fever concentrated on it and finished its victim. Two of my friends had it; one died. The other was my roommate. I kept him in bed, provided him with ice in the night, when the fever reached its peak. Ice was easy to get. I put a bucket of water in the hall outside our room. In a few hours, I had ice. After three weeks, he recovered. The dead were buried in a corner of the compound. To be continued.

Burke Dykes sends this story:

TEN DOLLARS IS TEN DOLLARS

George and his wife Bessie went to the county fair every year. This was their big event of the year. In fact, it was the closest thing they ever had to a vacation.

And each year George would say to Bessie, "I sure would like to ride in that there crop dustin´, acrobatic airplane." And each year Bessie would say, "I know, George, but that airplane ride costs ten dollars. And ten dollars is ten dollars."

After many years, George and Bessie went to the fair as usual, and George said, "Bessie, I´m 81 years old. If I don´t ride that airplane this year, I may never get another chance."

Bessie replied, "George, that there airplane ride costs ten dollars. And ten dollars is ten dollars."

The pilot overheard them and said, "Folks, I´ve seen you here year after year. I know you´ve been wanting to ride in my airplane all that time. I also know that money is pretty important to you, and you don´t part with it lightly.

"Tell you what, I´ll make you a deal. I´ll take you both up for a ride. If you can both keep quiet for the entire ride, and not say one word, I won´t charge you a thing. But if you say even one word, it´ll cost you ten dollars."

George and Bessie agreed. They got in the plane and took off. The pilot did all kinds of twists, turns, rolls, and dives, but he didn´t hear a peep from George or Bessie. He tried his fastest upside roll and it was still quiet from the back.

When they landed, the pilot looked at George: "Well, I don´t believe it, George, I did everything I could think of to get you to yell, but you didn´t."

George replied, "Well, I was going to say something when Bessie fell out of the airplane...."

"But ten dollars is ten dollars."

Kate Brookfield writes about

TEDDIES FOR TRAGEDIES

For the past ten years or so, on and off, I have been knitting little wool teddies as part of a project called Teddies for Tragedies. In our area the project was started by Liz McCrindle, who was introduced to the idea in Scotland. She has tirelessly promoted the project for 16 years, visiting Church groups, Guide troops, etc. I heard about it when she gave a presentation at our Rotary Club.

After Thanksgiving every year, Liz organized a tea when knitters would bring the teddies and hear from a guest speaker about the distribution of the teddies. The first tea was at her home, but the knitters soon outgrew her space and the local Presbyterian Church generously donated space and provided tea and cakes at no charge for 15 years.

Unfortunately, Liz is no longer able to do all the work involved and the church has offered to take on the task of encouraging new knitters, and researching where the Teddies might be needed, and how to get them there.

As I am only a knitter, I do not know enough about the origin of the project in Scotland. Liz and her daughter, Alison, will share some of the many letters of thanks and stories about the children who have received them. But this will not be until the New Year, when they have more time and when Liz is finished her cancer treatment.

In order to keep the group communicating, a couple of us decided to create a FaceBook group, open to all who have a FaceBook account to share questions, photos, and stories about Teddies for Tragedies. My niece in Australia finds there is no group in Australia. Already another woman in Sydney is interested in starting a group.

The idea is to give children who have lost everything something of their own and some love and hope. Each teddy comes in its own drawstring bag. Apparently, the children like to have the bag to use to put other things in.

At the group page there is a pattern and an introduction to some of the places which have received the teddies.

Here is an article about the early years of the project by Gill Sayers:

KNITTED TEDDIES BRINGING COMFORT AND HOPE TO CHILDREN AROUND THE WORLD

The first teddies went out to Sudan in 1986, sent by WRVS workers to where the Emergency Care for Children (ECC) nurses were setting up a temporary orphanage in a refugee camp for 2,000 children with TB. The teddies were such a success that more were requested. Someone then sent out some shoe bags, and these were a roaring success as the children had something to keep their one and only treasure in (this being the only thing they had ever owned.)

One doctor said that the teddies did more good than medicine: cheer the children up, give them hope, and you´re on the road to putting them right physically!

Teddies to Peru were delivered from the backs of mules by the ECC team who were working with abandoned handicapped children and desperate poor people in remote mountainous regions. A local factory gave coloured tissue paper so the children received a wrapped Christmas present.

Click to enlarge image.

Another consignment of teddies to Uganda was sorely needed by orphanages to "help make children back into children." Although Uganda is now experiencing comparative peace after war, children were still being found with guns in their hands, and many, having lost both parents, were wandering about in great need.

The Bishop of Taunton took teddies out when he visited mission hospitals in Zambia. After the hurricane in Jamaica, teddies were flown out for injured children who had lost everything. And most recently, 1,500 were sent out to Armenia after the terrible earthquake.

In one Romanian orphanage, things are better this year. Instead of shaven heads, the children´s hair has been allowed to grow. They can have their own teddy at night to cuddle, but the teddies are locked away by day, as personal property is still unfamiliar, and because the children do not know how to play, the teddies would be destroyed by bedtime. The bags are important, equated by one Romanian child to the cot he lived in for so long: it is the teddy´s security. Gradually these children learn how to play. But first, the teddy is a companion. Some children sling the bags over their shoulders with the teddies´ head peeping out.

More teddies have gone out to Calcutta, Thailand, Sudan, different parts of Romania, Croatian villages, Albanian hospitals, and an ear clinic in Nepal. It is incredible how numbers of teddies have arrived according to need. Sadly, the need is always going to be there. All too often there are civil wars, famines, or natural disasters.

Could you help by knitting a teddy, making a teddy bag, or even donating some oddments of wool or material? Help to bring a little joy into the life of a needy child.

ED. NOTE: Check out these websites for more information about how you can help:

http://www.teddiesfortragedies.org/ or http://tinyurl.com/h4flze2

FORGETTING IS COMMON WHEN ONE BECOMES A SENIOR

An elderly couple had dinner at another couple´s house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen.

The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, "Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great, I would recommend it very highly."

The other man said, "What is the name of the restaurant?"

The first man thought and thought and finally said, "What is the name of that flower you give to someone you love? You know, the one that´s red and has thorns?"

"Do you mean a rose?"

"Yes, that´s the one," replied the man. He then turned toward the kitchen and yelled, "Rose, what´s the name of that restaurant we went to last night?"

HOW TECHNOLOGY WILL CHANGE OUR LIVES BEYOND OUR IMAGINATION

In 1998, Kodak had 170,000 employees and sold 85% of all photo paper worldwide. Within just a few years after that, their business model all but disappeared, and they went bankrupt. What happened to Kodak will happen in a lot of industries in the next 10 years - and most people don´t see it coming. Did you ever think in 1998 that 3 years later you would never take pictures on paper film again?

Digital cameras were invented in 1975. The first ones only had 10,000 pixels, but followed Moore´s law. So as with all exponential technologies, it was a disappointment for a long time before it improved, became way superior to traditional formats, was finally cheaper to produce and got mainstream - in only a few short years. It will now happen with Artificial Intelligence, health care, automatic/electric cars, education, 3D printing, agriculture and many other jobs.

Welcome to the 4th Industrial Revolution and welcome to the Exponential Age. Software alone will dramatically disrupt most traditional industries as we know them today in just the next 5-10 years.

Mind you, Uber is no more than just a software (app) tool. They don´t own any cars, but are now the biggest taxi company in the world. AirBnB is now the biggest hotel company in the world, although they don´t own any properties - just software.

Artificial Intelligence: Computers have become exponentially better in understanding the world. This year, a computer beat the best Go player in the world, 10 years earlier than expected. In the US, young doctors and lawyers already have fewer jobs. You can get legal and medical advice (more or less basic stuff) from IBM Watson within seconds, with 90% accuracy compared with 70% accuracy when out is provided by humans.

So if you study medicine or law, maybe you need to rethink your career path? There will be 90% less doctors and lawyers in the future, only specialists acting as assistants will remain.

Watson already helps doctors and nurses diagnose cancer, and being 4 times more accurate and faster than human doctors and nurses. Facebook now has a pattern recognition software that can recognize faces better than humans. By 2030, computers will become far more intelligent than humans, and with unlimited memory.

Automatic cars: In 2018 the first self driving cars will appear for the public. Around 2020, the complete automobile industry will start to be disrupted. You don´t want to own a car anymore. You will call a car with your phone, it will show up at your location and drive you to your destination. You will not need to park it, you only pay for the driven distance and be productive while driving.

Our kids will never get a driver´s licence and will never own a car. It will change the cities, because we will need 90-95% less cars for that. We can transform former parking spaces into parks. 1.2 million people die each year in car accidents worldwide. We now have one accident every 100,000 km, with autopilot driving that will drop to one accident in 10 million km. That will save a million lives each year.

Most car companies might become bankrupt. Traditional car companies try the evolutionary approach and just build a better car, while tech companies (Tesla, Apple, Google) will try the revolutionary approach and build a computer on wheels. I spoke to a lot of engineers from Volkswagen and Audi; they are completely terrified of Tesla.

Insurance companies will have massive trouble because without accidents, the insurance will become 100x cheaper. Their car insurance business model will disappear.

Real estate business is bound to change. Because if you can work while you commute, people will move further away to live in a more beautiful neighbourhood.

Electric cars will become mainstream by 2020. Cities will be less noisy because all cars will run on electricity, which will become incredibly cheap and clean.

Solar production has been on an exponential curve for 30 years, but you can only now see the impact. Last year, more solar energy stations were installed worldwide than fossil. The price for solar energy will drop so much that all coal companies will be defunct by 2025.

With cheap electricity comes cheap and abundant water. Desalination now only needs 2kWh per cubic meter. We don´t have scarce water in most places, we only have scarce drinking water. Imagine what will be possible if anyone can have as much clean water as he wants, for nearly no cost.

Health: The Tricorder X price will be announced this year. There are pharma companies building a medical device (called the ´Tricorder´ from Star Trek) that works with your phone, which takes your retina scan, your blood sample and your breath into it. It then analyses 54 biomarkers that will identify nearly any disease. It will be cheap, so in a few years everyone on this planet will have access to world class medicine, nearly for free.

3D printing: The price of the cheapest 3D printer came down from $18,000 to $400 within 10 years.. In the same time, it became 100 times faster. All major shoe companies started 3D printing shoes. Spare airplane parts are already 3D printed in remote airports. The space station now has a 3D printer that eliminates the need for the large amount of spare parts they used to have in the past.

At the end of this year, new smartphones will have 3D scanning possibilities. You can then 3D scan your feet and print your perfect shoe at home. In China, they already 3D printed a complete 6-story office building. By 2027, 10% of everything that´s being produced will be 3D printed.

Business opportunities: If you think of a niche you want to go in, ask yourself - in the future, do you think we will have that? If the answer is yes, how can you make that happen sooner? If it doesn´t work with your phone, forget the idea. And any idea designed for success in the 20th century is doomed for failure in the 21st century.

Work: 70-80% of jobs will disappear in the next 20 years. There will be a lot of new jobs, but it is not clear if there will be enough new jobs in such a small time frame.

Agriculture: There will be a $100 agricultural robot in the future. Farmers in third-world countries can then become managers of their fields instead of working all day on their fields.

Aeroponics will need much less water. The first petri-dish-produced veal is now available and will be cheaper than cow-produced veal in 2018.

Right now, 30% of all agricultural surface is used for cows. Imagine if we don´t need that space anymore. There are several start-ups who will bring insect protein to the market shortly. It contains more protein than meat. It will be labelled as "Alternative protein source" (as most people still reject the idea of eating insects.)

There is an app called "Moodies," which can already tell in which mood you are. By 2020 there will be apps that can tell by your facial expressions if you are lying. Imagine a political debate where it´s being displayed, if they are speaking the truth or not.

Bitcoin might become mainstream this year and might even become the default reserve currency.

Education: The cheapest smart phone is already at $10 in Africa and Asia. By 2020, most humans will own a smartphone or a device that has access to world-class education/information. Every child can use Khans Academy and other tools for learning art, engineering, design, languages, science, music, mathematics, etc.

Longevity: Right now, the average life span increases by 3 months per year. Four years ago, the life span used to be 79 years, now it´s 80 years. The increase itself is increasing and by 2036, there will be more than one year increase per year. So we all might live for a long long time, probably way more than 100.

And this is just what we know of today´s science and technology.

Imagine what the future holds! Challenging? Scary? Exciting?

- Author unknown (but he has a wild imagination!)

ED. NOTE: I found this article under "interesting Articles and Videos 30th October" in the Sunday Family Humour 30th October at http://tinyurl.com/jlne383

Shirley Conlon is responsible for forwarding these awful puns:

THE PRICE OF GAS IN FRANCE

A thief in Paris planned to steal some paintings from the Louvre. After careful planning, he got past security, stole the paintings, and made it safely to his van..

However, he was captured only two blocks away when his van ran out of gas.

When asked how he could mastermind such a crime and then make such an obvious error, he replied, "Monsieur, that is the reason I stole the paintings.

"I had no Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh."

See if you have DeGaulle to send this on to someone else.... I sent it to you because I figured I had nothing Toulouse.

SUGGESTED WEBSITES

Bruce Galway sends the URL for a video of horses laughing at an inept driver delivering another horse:

Judy Lee sends this link to a video of a line dance by a group of which she is a member:

Tom Telfer suggests another episode of People Are Awesome - the Champions:

Tom also suggests this video of magician Michael Late´s Austrian-themed magic act which amazed and entertained the judges and audience of Britain´s Got Talent:

Tom Williamson suggests this skit from an old Dean Martin show, featuring an airline pilot:

Tony Lewis forwards the URL for a video of a blind date in France. Watch it to the end, which has a most unexpected denoument:

Thousands of children born in Syria have never known anything but war and deprivation. Syrian children have been born in cities in ruins, in the midst of food shortages and with no end of war in sight. Amidst the darkness, one man has become a ray of sunshine for hundreds of children by providing them with toys, carried all the way from Europe:

A "light bulb" now exists that does not use any conventional energy. See this simple invention and how it is changing the lives of these villagers in the Philippines:

If you like Britain´s Got Talent, here are 10 of the funniest performances:

See plastic jugs being transformed into sturdy, attractive fences that will outlast a wooden fence by many years. Since plastic does not biodegrade, it´s really win-win when it can be re-manufactured into a product that will stay in place and be useful for a long time:

Here are seven indoor plants that will survive In the darkest rooms:

To check out the features of the "freedictionary," which changes daily, go to