Stories: Tale Spinners #2017-51

These "Tale Spinner" episodes are brought to you courtesy of one of our Canadian friends, Jean Sansum. You can thank her by eMail at

VOL. XXIII, NO. 51
December 23, 2017

IN THIS ISSUE

Last-minute guests made this Christmas special
Rafiki and Tom Telfer forward these thoughts about life
Barbara Wear shares this mp4 about dogs in the snow
Tony Lewis sends this story about Julie Andrews
Irene Harvalias forwards Grandma´s Christmas invitation
Marilyn Magid sends a tongue-twister
Barbara Wear notes the origins of Christmas cards
Shirley Coutts and Tom Telfer suggest interesting sites

In this Heroic Story, Dotty Healy of California remembers

THE LAST MINUTE GUESTS

I expected December 2002 to be the worst Christmas ever, my first rough Christmas. My husband had had a stroke, and though progressing well, he wasn´t his true self.

My eldest daughter had planned a family skiing trip, taking my three grandchildren away for the entire Christmas week. What would Christmas be without their shrieks of joy and surprise, hugs and kisses?

My son had promised to take his wife home to see her folks. Her family needed her too. My youngest daughter would spend Christmas with her girlfriends, their last together before someone moved away.

My hopes for a family celebration fell away for the first time in my life. My Christmas would be spent quietly alone with my ailing husband, knowing that he would benefit if people were around.

Then I remembered growing up in an Air Force town during the war, inviting servicemen to share our holidays. Perhaps some of the new college grads at work, recruited from all over the country, wouldn´t be able to head home for their holidays.

I e-mailed our whole section, inviting everyone without plans and willing to drive 30 miles to come enjoy an old-fashioned Christmas dinner with us. Responses were heart-warming and grateful, but no one actually accepted.

These young folk are more self-sufficient than I expected, I thought, and what was I thinking - asking young people to spend a boring day with old folks, even with food like mom´s.

Then into my e-mail came an acceptance. It was from a long-time friend who knew my situation. She and her husband would love to join us. But I´d advertised music and singing - how would we entertain just one couple? I was panic-stricken.

Christmas morning Don and I opened our presents without enthusiasm, and set them aside to wait out the day. They won´t show, I thought gloomily. They made a pie crust promise. This will be the worst Christmas of my life! At 11:00 a.m. I had the whole, lonely day ahead to be cheerful for my dear husband.

Then out the kitchen window I saw my friend and her husband walking up the driveway. They had come after all, and they both were carrying guitars!

In that moment, I realized that two loving people had read between the lines of my e-mail and come prepared to save the day. And save it they did. They played guitar and sang. Then I played the piano as they sang, and my husband whistled along. The joy was contagious.

I know I cooked a meal and we all ate that day, but I don´t remember what it was. My friend´s husband carried on interesting male-oriented conversation for the benefit of my husband, who relished the special attention. My heart sang with gratitude for my friend´s selfless gesture.

What I do remember, and will always remember, is how my friend and her husband made us the recipient of their wonderful charity on a joyous Christmas day.

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Rafiki and Tom Telfer both send this thoughtful piece:

ON THE TRAIN….

At birth we boarded the train and met our parents, and we believed they would always travel with us. However, at some station, our parents will step down from the train, leaving us to continue on without them.

As time goes by, other people will board the train, and they will be significant - siblings, friends, children, and the love of our life.

Many will later step down and leave a permanent vacuum. Others will go so unnoticed that we don´t realize they vacated their seats.

This train ride will be full of joy, sorrow, fantasy, expectations, hellos, goodbyes, and farewells. Success consists of having a good relationship with all passengers, requiring that we give the best of ourselves.

The mystery to everyone is: we do not know at which station we ourselves will step down.

So we must live In the best way, love, forgive, and offer the best of who we are. It is important to do this because when the time comes for us to step down and leave our seat empty, we should leave behind beautiful memories for those who will continue to travel on without us.

I wish you a joyful journey on the train of life! Reap success and give lots of love. Lastly, I thank you for being one of the passengers on my train!

Barbara Wear forwards this video of

DOGS IN THE SNOW

Tony Lewis sends this story about

JULIE ANDREWS

To commemorate her 79th birthday, actress/vocalist Julie Andrews made a special appearance at Manhattan´s Radio City Music Hall for the benefit of the AARP. One of the musical numbers she performed was "My Favourite Things" from the legendary movie "Sound of Music."

Here are the lyrics she used:

Botox and nose drops and needles for knitting,
Walkers and handrails and new dental fittings,
Bundles of magazines tied up in string,
These are a few of my favourite things.

Cadillacs and cataracts, hearing aids and glasses,
Polident and Fixodent and false teeth in glasses,
Pacemakers, golf carts, and porches with swings,
These are a few of my favourite things.

When the pipes leak, When the bones creak,
When the knees go bad,
I simply remember my favourite things,
And then I don't feel so bad.

Hot tea and crumpets and corn pads for bunions,
No spicy hot food or food cooked with onions,
Bathrobes and heating pads and hot meals they bring,
These are a few of my favourite things.

Back pain, confused brains, and no need for sinnin',
Thin bones and fractures and hair that is thinnin',
And we won't mention our short shrunken frames,
When we remember our favourite things.

When the joints ache, When the hips break,
When the eyes grow dim,
Then I remember the great life I've had,
And then I don't feel so bad.

Ms. Andrews received a standing ovation from the crowd that lasted over four minutes and repeated encores.

Irene Harvalias forwards this priceless piece:

GRANDMA´S INVITATION

Dear Family,

I´m not dead yet. Christmas is still important to me. If being in my Last Will and Testament is important to you, then you might consider being with me for my favourite holiday.

Dinner is at 2:00 p.m.

Not 2:15.

Not 2:05.

Two. 2:00.

Arrive late and you get what´s left over.

Last year, that moron Marshall fried a turkey in one of those contraptions and practically burned the deck off the house. This year, the only peanut oil used to make the meal will be from the secret scoop of peanut butter I add to the carrot soup.

Jonathan, your last new wife was an idiot. You don´t arrive at someone´s house on Christmas needing to use the oven and the stove to prepare your contribution to the meal. Honest to God, I thought you might have learned after two wives - date them longer and save us all the agony of another divorce.

Now, the house rules are now slightly different this year.

New House Rules:

1. I have decided that 47% of you don´t know how to take care of nice things.Therefore paper plates and red Solo cups might be bad for the environment, but I´ll be gone soon and that will be your problem to deal with. Besides, I dont have to worry that you might break my good china when you offer to "do dishes" and dont understand that means "wash them in the sink, dry them, and put them away," not "stick them in the dishwasher and leave them for a week."

2. I dont care if your favourite team is playing a critical game.The television stays off during the meal.

3. The "no cans for kids" rule still exists. We are using two-litre bottles because your children still like to open a third can before finishing the first two. Parents can fill a child´scup when it is empty. There is one cup per kid and all of the cups have names on them and I´ll be paying close attention to refills.

4. Chloe, last year we were at Trudy´s house and I looked the other way when your Jell-O salad showed up. This year, if Jell-O salad comes in my front door it will go right back out the back door with the garbage. Save yourself some time, honey. You´ve never been a good cook. You shouldn´t bring something that wiggles more than you. Buy something from the bakery.

5. Grandmothers give grandchildren cookies and candy. That is a fact of life. Your children can eat healthy at your home. At my home, they can eat whatever they like as long as they finish it.

6. I cook with bacon and bacon grease. That´s nothing new. Your being a vegetarian doesn´t change the fact that stuffing without bacon is like egg salad without eggs. Even the green bean casserole has a little bacon grease in it. That´s why it tastes so good. Not eating bacon is just not natural.And as far as being healthy ... look at me. I´ve outlived almost everyone I know.

7. Salad at Christmas is a waste of space.

8. I do not like cell phones. Leave them in the car. If I find one in my house I have a hammer to deal with it.

9. I do not like video cameras. There will be 32 people here. I am sure you can capture lots of memories without the camera pointed at me.

10. Being a mother means you have to actually pay attention to the kids. I have nice things and I don´t put them away just because company is coming over. Mary, watch your kids and I´ll watch my things. If you dont watch your kids, remember that I have a hammer.

11. Rhonda, a cat that requires a shot twice a day is a cat that has lived too many lives. I think staying home to care for the cat instead of coming to dinner is your way of letting me know that I have lived too many lives too. I can live with that. Can you?

12. Words mean things. I say what I mean. Let me repeat: You don´t need to bring anything means you don´t need to bring anything. And if I did tell you to bring something, bring it in the quantity I said. Really, this doesn´t have to be difficult.

13. Dominos and cards are better than anything that requires a battery or an on/off switch. That was true when you were kids and it´s true now that you have kids.

14. Showing up for Christmas guarantees presents at birthdays. Not showing up may or may not guarantee a card that may or may not be signed.

15. In memory of your Grandfather, the back fridge will be filled with beer. Drink until it is gone. I prefer wine anyway. But one from each family needs to be the designated driver. (I realize that might be a difficult choice, so think about a cab because I don´t want any arguments on my front door step. (Remember, I have a hammer.)

I really mean all of the above.

Love you,

Grandma.

Marilyn Magid sends this one:

SHADES OF NURSERY RHYMES

A doctor had been practising in the same town for many years, and at five o´clock every weekday he would close his office and go to the bar next door for an almond daiquiri.

One day the bartender, whose name was Dick, was out of almonds. It was very close to five o´clock and he didn´t want to disappoint his most loyal customer, so he decided to chop up some hickory nuts and use them in the drink instead.

So at five o´clock the doctor came into the bar, took a sip of his drink, and asked, "Is this an almond daiquiri, Dick?"

The bartender replied, "Nope. It´s a hickory daiquiri, Doc."

Barbara Wear tells the story of:

THE FIRST CHRISTMAS CARD

A prominent educator and patron of the arts, Henry Cole, travelled in the elite social circles of early Victorian England, and had the misfortune of having too many friends. During the holiday season of 1843, those friends were causing Cole much anxiety. The problem was their letters. An old custom in England, the Christmas and New Year´s letters had received a new impetus with the recent expansion of the British postal system and the introduction of the "Penny Post," allowing the sender to send a letter or card anywhere in the country by affixing a penny stamp to the correspondence.

Now everybody was sending letters. Sir Cole was an enthusiastic supporter of the new postal system, and he enjoyed being the 1840s equivalent of an A-Lister, but he was a busy man. As he watched the stacks of unanswered correspondence, he fretted over what to do. In Victorian England, it was considered impolite not to answer mail. He had to figure out a way to respond to all of these people.

Cole hit on an ingenious idea. He approached an artist friend, J. C. Horsley, and asked him to design an idea that Cole had sketched out in his mind. Cole then took Horsley´s illustration - a triptych showing a family at table celebrating the holiday, flanked by images of people helping the poor - and had a thousand copies made by a London printer.

The image was printed on a piece of stiff cardboard 5 1/8 x 3 1/4 inches in size. At the top of each was the salutation, "To: _____," allowing Cole to personalize his responses, which included the generic greeting "A Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to You."

It was the first Christmas card.