Home  >> Stories  >> The Tale Spinner #2018-12

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IN THIS ISSUE

• Sue Saville writes about an unexpected change of circumstances
• Stan French remembers an event from his youth
• Rafiki forwards a sinfully rich recipe
• Ann Kemp sends the story of a politician in the making
• Irene Harvalias shares an oldie but goodie
• Catherine Nesbitt forwards some examples of lexophilia
• Burke Dykes sends another example of learned helplessness
• Sites are suggested by Barbara Wear, Kate Brookfield, and Tom Telfer

In Heroic Stories, Sue Saville of North Carolina writes about their

CHANGE OF CIRCUMSTANCES

Back in 1995, we had been renting a nice little house in a quiet neighborhood for about four years. Our children were aged six and four, and I was an at-home mom. On the very day that I learned we were expecting our third child, my husband´s boss dropped a bombshell on us. His pay would be cut in half due to this small company´s financial troubles. Being a one-income family, just barely making ends meet, this was impossible for us to live with.

Our only viable option was to move in with my husband´s parents (great folks!) on the other side of town until my husband could find a better-paying job and we could get on our feet. They had been considering moving to another town and renting a townhouse anyway, so as to have less upkeep and be closer to their work. It was decided that we would move in with them, and they´d move out when we were financially recovered. We would rent from them for the amount of their mortgage payment - $200 less than we´d been paying for rent, and more square feet of living space.

There was a big hurdle - aside from all of the obvious upset and turmoil involved. Less than a week before the pay cut we had signed our lease for another year.

For me, this was more a matter of "going back on my word" than a legal issue. I was absolutely mortified. I phoned the property management company we leased from and explained what had happened. I begged to be let out of the days-old lease, to go on a month-to-month basis instead. One of our options at the time of signing had been to switch to month-to-month. By the time I finished explaining our situation I was in tears, which was terribly embarrassing.

The receptionist promised to get back to me as soon as she spoke with the manager. The next day, she called to tell me that while they couldn´t let us out of the lease, they would do their best to re-rent it as soon as possible after we vacated. They would work with us on any late payments, and release us from obligation as soon as the house rented. She was very kind, but I understood their hands were tied.

We moved out in mid-November. In mid-December, I received a call from this same young woman. She informed me that, though the house had not been rented yet, we had been great tenants. She said, "It has been decided that we cannot bear to look ourselves in the mirror if we hold you to this lease."

We were released from any further obligation. They even returned our security deposit - it arrived the week before Christmas. I would never in a million years have expected this treatment from a business. I will never, ever forget how truly touched I was by this group´s understanding and compassion.

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Stan French forwards a story from his youth in Montreal:

OBEY THOSE STOP SIGNS!

In May, 1954, just before my 27th birthday, when writing home I told my folks I had met a fascinating young woman near my own age. I was at a barn dance at my church in NDG, Montreal, and she was a visitor enjoying something new to her. I introduced myself near closing time and she told me she was German, has been in Canada for about a year, and has a good job as a stenographer.

"She doesn´t smoke or go to cocktail parties or stay out late and she generally convinced me that she is a lady," I remember writing home as I was looking for Miss Right for me, or a nice person to date, but barely able to afford to drive a car while in training for my new job at Marconi in Montreal.

Ursula agreed to a ride home because it was raining hard and she had come by transit. I was taking it slow because I was unfamiliar with streets except for routes to work or courses at the YMCA. I had mixed experiences with the police in my few months in Montreal for a new job where I was in training.

It was raining and dark and I was explaining that I didn´t know the city very well, and pretty Ursula was giving me directions. I know I was doing less than ten miles an hour when a sleek green car easily passed me, stopped for the stop street, and a huge policeman came from it to talk to me.

I shuddered as I rolled down the window and he asked me in a quiet, gentlemanly way: "Do you know you went through a stop street on Western Avenue?"

"No sir, I didn´t realize there was a stop sign there or I would have stopped."

"Well, I know you went through it because I nearly ran into you, I thought you would stop. Do you have your license with you?"

"Yes sir, here it is." And there it was. I made sure it was my renewed Alberta license as it was time to get a Quebec driver´s license but the line-ups were hours long weeks before my birthday renewal deadline. He took it to my headlights to read it.

Ursula asked; "Is this serious?"

I said, "It sure is, very serious. Perhaps a twenty-five dollar fine."

The officer returned with my license and told me it was no good; did I have a Quebec license? I told him I had a temporary permit but had been unable to take the required driving test for a new driver´s license. He told me, still politely, that my Alberta license was no good as long as I was driving a Quebec licensed vehicle; asked me if I realized that. He thought I did, and admonished me to use the permit.

He described the busy street I had unwittingly crossed, explained that out-of-towners often went through streets in Montreal without realizing they were stop streets. "I think that´s what you did. You were not speeding at all, and you just didn´t observe the sign. You must be very careful to observe and obey these signs. You understand that, don´t you?"

I said I did and I would. He said OK and left.

Ursula exclaimed, "What a wonderful man! Did you get his number? It´s valuable to know a nice man like that." We breathed a sigh of relief and drove off after doing our best to reconstruct his license number.

Footnote: Ursula and I met on the second Saturday in May, 1954, and most weekends she was away at the country club of the firm she worked for, so after I met Emily on the last Sunday in May, I knew nothing more about Ursula until mid July, 1954, when I read in the paper:

"MONTREAL (UP): A slim beautiful German girl prepared Saturday to return to her homeland to voluntarily face trial as a Communist spy on the United States Air Force. Ursula Schmidt vigorously denied she was an espionage agent. She said the charges were made by a jilted lover."

Rafiki writes that this recipe looks yummy, but may be a wee bit sinful:

BUNNY BAIT

2 cups pretzels
1 bag popped white popcorn
1 package Almond Bark white melting chocolate
1 bag of festive M&Ms
2 cups of Chex cereal
1 container of sprinkles

Spread pretzels, popcorn, and Chex on an foil-covered baking sheet and drizzle white chocolate over the mixture.

Gently stir to coat evenly.

Add sprinkles, but dont stir it any more or the sprinkles will be coated with chocolate and turn white.

Let harden on cookie sheet and then break apart and add M&Ms to the finished mixture.

The ideas for packaging are endless: cute bags to give away as favours, or just put it in a big bowl and it will be a hit!

Ann Kemp shares this story with us:

BUTCH, THE ROOSTER - A TRUE POLITICIAL

Sarah was in the fertilized egg business. She had several hundred young pullets and ten roosters to fertilize the eggs.

She kept records, and any rooster not performing went into the soup pot and was replaced.

This took a lot of time, so she bought some tiny bells and attached them to her roosters. Each bell had a different tone, so she could tell from a distance which rooster was performing. Now she could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report by just listening to the bells.

Sarah´s favourite rooster, old Butch, was a very fine specimen. but one morning she noticed old Butch´s bell hadn´t rung at all! When she went to investigate, she saw the other roosters were busy chasing pullets, bells-a-ringing, but the pullets, hearing the roosters coming, were running for cover.

To Sarah´s amazement, old Butch had his bell in his beak, so it couldn´t ring. He´d sneak up on a pullet, do his job, and walk on to the next one.

Sarah was so proud of old Butch, she entered him in a show, and he became an overnight sensation among the judges.The result was the judges not only awarded old Butch the "NoBell Peace Prize;" they also awarded him the "Pulletsurprise" as well.

Clearly old Butch was a politician in the making. Who else but a politician could figure out how to win two of the most coveted awards on our planet by being the best at sneaking up on the unsuspecting populace and screwing them when they weren´t paying attention?

Vote carefully in the next election. You can´t always hear the bells.

Irene Harvalias forwards this oldie but goodie:

BETTER THAN A FLU SHOT

Miss Beatrice, the church organist, was in her eighties and had never been married. She was admired for her sweetness and kindness to all.

One afternoon the pastor came to call on her and she showed him into her quaint sitting room. She invited him to have a seat while she prepared tea....

As he sat facing her old Hammond organ, the young minister noticed a cut-glass bowl sitting on top of it. The bowl was filled with water, and in the water floated, of all things, a condom!

When she returned with tea and scones, they began to chat. The pastor tried to stifle his curiosity about the bowl of water and its strange floater, but soon it got the better of him and he could no longer resist.

"Miss Beatrice," he said, pointing to the bowl, "I wonder if you would tell me about this?"

"Oh, yes," she replied. "Isn´t it wonderful?

"I was walking through the park a few months ago and I found this little package on the ground. The directions said to place it on the organ, keep it wet, and that it would prevent the spread of disease.

"Do you know, I haven´t had the flu all winter!"

Catherine Nesbitt forwards these examples of

LEXOPHILIA

"Lexophile" describes those who have a love for words, such as "You can tune a piano, but you can´t tuna fish;" or "To write with a broken pencil is pointless." An annual competition is held by the New York Times to see who can create the best original lexophile.

This year´s winning submission is posted at the very end.

No matter how much you push the envelope, it´ll still be stationery.

If you don´t pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.

I´m reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can´t put it down.

I didn´t like my beard at first Then it grew on me.

Did you hear about the crossed-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn´t control her pupils?

When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.

When chemists die, they barium.

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.

I changed my iPod´s name to Titanic. It´s syncing now.

England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool .

Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.

This girl today said she recognized me from the Vegetarians Club, but I´d swear I´ve never met herbivore

I know a guy who´s addicted to drinking brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time.

A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.

When the smog lifts in Los Angeles U.C.L.A.

I got some batteries that were given out free of charge.

A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.

A will is a dead giveaway.

With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.

Police were summoned to a daycare center where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.

Did you hear about the fellow whose entire left side was cut off? He´s all right now.

A bicycle can´t stand alone; it´s just two tired.

The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine last week is now fully recovered.

He had a photographic memory but it was never fully developed.

When she saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she´d dye.

Acupuncture is a jab well done. That´s the point of it.

Those who get too big for their pants will be totally exposed in the end.

Burke Dykes sends this story about

THE ELEPHANT ROPE

As a man was passing the elephants, he suddenly stopped, confused by the fact that these huge creatures were being held by only a small rope tied to their front leg. No chains, no cages. It was obvious that the elephants could, at any time, break away from their bonds, but for some reason, they did not.

He saw a trainer nearby and asked why these animals just stood there and made no attempt to get away.

"Well," the trainer said, "when they are very young and much smaller, we use the same size rope to tie them, and at that age, it´s enough to hold them. As they grow up, they are conditioned to believe they cannot break away. They believe the rope can still hold them, so they never try to break free."

The man was amazed. These animals could at any time break free from their bonds but because they believed they couldn´t, they were stuck right where they were.

Like the elephants, how many of us go through life hanging onto a belief that we cannot do something, simply because we failed at it once before?

Failure is part of learning; we should never give up the struggle in life.

SUGGESTED SITES

Barbara Wear sends a video of the Karakoram Highway in China, one of the highest paved roads in the world, and now known as the eighth wonder of the world:

Kate Brookfield invites you to log onto their World Press site to follow their spring trip from Barbados to Portugal and the UK:

Tom Telfer forwards this link to a video which is especially relevant now, considering the use of Facebook users´ information in the last US election. Mark Cuban has created an app to protect your privacy on social media:

Tom also sends the URL for a compilation of the 100 most iconic shots in movie history:

CBC News also has suggestions on how to protect your personal information on Facebook:

This video is the work of Annie Leonard, who created "The Story of Stuff." In this one, she talks about electronics that are designed for the dump, which creates mountains of e-waste. She asks why electronics designers don´t create long-lasting, toxic-free products, which can be repaired:

An Ontario man whose life was saved with a heart transplant ran his first 10-km race, with the father of the heart donor cheering him on:

A former Trans Mountain pipeline employee was arrested at a protest in Burnaby. She said, "We lived and worked in fear when I worked for Trans Mountain, because the reality is that no amount of equipment or people is going to change the fact that in the event of a spill, they will be able to recover very little." Check out this story here: