Home  >> Stories  >> The Tale Spinner #2018-13

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IN THIS ISSUE

• Terry Galen remembers the death of a notorious phrase
• Kate Brookfield introduces the story of their spring holiday
• Burke Dykes reminisces about his early years
• Irene Harvalias shares some random thoughts
• Rafiki forwards e-mails about a millennial wedding
• Catherine Nesbitt sends some definitions of "old"
• Sites are suggested by Barbara Wear and Tom Telfer

Terry Galen from Ontario sent this story to Heroic Stories:

I CAN´T

Donna had volunteered her fourth-grade class to participate in a program to empower students to take charge of their lives. My job was to help implement the program. On my first visit to her classroom I took a seat in the back.

All students were filling a sheet of notebook paper with ideas. The 10-year-old next to me was writing "I Can´ts" - "I can´t kick the soccer ball past second base. I can´t do long division with more than three numerals. I can´t get Debbie to like me." Her page half full, she showed no signs of letting up. I walked, glancing at student papers. Everyone described "I Can´t" versus "I Can."

Curious why they dwelt on the negative, I decided to ask Donna - but she, too, was busy writing. "I can´t get John´s mother to come for a teacher conference. I can´t get my daughter to put gas in the car. I can´t get Alan to use words instead of fists." Still curious, I returned to my seat.

Students wrote another 10 minutes, then were instructed to fold their papers in half and put them into an empty shoe box. Donna added hers, put the lid on the box, tucked it under her arm, and headed down the hall.

Students followed teacher. I followed students. Halfway down the hall, Donna got a shovel from the custodian´s room. Then she marched the students to the farthest corner of the playground.

Digging took ten minutes because most of the fourth-graders wanted a turn. The box of "I Can´ts" was placed in the hole and covered with dirt. Thirty-one 10- and 11-year-olds stood around the grave. Donna announced, "Please join hands and bow your heads." They formed a circle, lowered heads and waited.

Donna delivered the eulogy. "Friends, we gather today to honour the memory of ´I Can´t.´ While with us here on earth, he touched everyone´s lives, some more than others. We have provided ´I Can´t´ with a final resting place. He is survived by ´I Can,´ ´I Will,´ and ´I´m Going to Right Away.´ They are not as well known as their relative - but with your help, perhaps they will make a greater mark on the world. May everyone here pick up their lives and move forward in his absence."

Back in the classroom Donna held a wake. They celebrated the passing of "I Can´t" with cookies, popcorn, and fruit juice. Donna cut a large tombstone from butcher paper. She wrote "I Can´t" at the top, RIP in the middle, the date at the bottom, and posted it on the wall. On rare occasions when a student forgot and said, "I Can´t," Donna simply pointed to the RIP sign. The student remembered "I Can´t" was dead - and rephrased the statement.

I wasn´t one of Donna´s students. She was one of mine. Yet that day I learned an enduring lesson from her. Years later, I still envision that fourth grade class laying "I Can´t" to rest.

ED. NOTE: E-mail subscriptions to HeroicStories are FREE. Sign up here: HeroicStories.org.

Kate Brookfield sends the first of her stories about their spring holiday:

SOME RANDOM THOUGHTS ON CRUISE SHIP TRAVEL

It has become traditional for my husband and I to take a cruise ship across the Atlantic in the spring.In the last five years we have been to Spain twice and Italy twice and used different cruise lines. After a long cold winter, it is nice to pack up and head off to find sun and surf. Because we live in the middle of the Canadian continent, any cruise must inevitably involve a flight to the coast. In the past we have embarked twice from Florida and twice from the Caribbean islands. This year we will be flying to Barbados, with a stop down in Trinidad.

Our very first cruise was in 2005 from Vancouver to Alaska on the Norwegian line. This was the year our daughter married and my sister came on a package tour from the UK. Their trip involved flying to Calgary for the wedding in Banff, then a train journey through the Rockies, a few nights in Vancouver, and a crossing to Vancouver Island, ending with the Alaskan cruise. We thought it would be fun to join them on the cruise.

I enjoyed that cruise for its novelty and for spending time with my sister. However, my husband found it not so exciting and vowed he would never take another cruise. He found it boring as we came back the same way as we went, so did not see enough of the area. We did not see any wild life; it rained most of the time, and at the ports of call, 3-4 cruise ships each holding about 3000 or more passengers moored at the same time. This meant the small shipping ports were overrun with tourists walking up and down the main street looking at shops that all sold the same souvenirs! We did not stay in any port long enough to travel further afield.

Excursions arranged by the cruise line are convenient, but usually expensive. Those who took an excursion in a small boat close to the shore for a day saw lots of interesting sights, including a grizzly bear nursing her cubs and eagles, etc. We did take an excursion on the White Train in the Yukon. Also we were all taken to entertainment provided by indigenous peoples.

The food on the cruise ship was excellent and plenty of it. One afternoon they produced a chocolate extravaganza with huge chocolate sculptures and a mammoth selection of chocolate cakes and desserts. But a lot of food was wasted as peoples eyes were bigger than their bellies and they took far too much on their plates and then left it.

New Zealand was hIgh on my bucket list of places to see before I die. After my husband retired in 2012, we were planning a trip for me to realize my dream. Imagine my surprise when my husband insisted that we go by sea. I was against it. I did not want him complaining for four weeks, as that is how long it takes to cruise from Canada to Australia. When asked why he wanted to take a cruise ship, he answered that he wanted to see the size of the Pacific. I told him he could see that on a map. Next, he wanted to experience the distance. In the end, he got his way and we booked on a Holland America cruise from Vancouver to Sydney. And that was the cruise that got us hooked on cruising. I think my blog of that trip is still on my Word Press site. I know Jean covered it in the Spinner.

So we have cruised across the Atlantic every year since. I like gardens and we have toured the famous gardens of Spain and Italy. We always return in early May in time to enjoy my own garden in spring.

This year, our Golden Wedding year, we are breaking with tradition a little and taking a smaller cruise ship with sails. If the weather is good, we will be ecologically responsible and use wind power.

The Windstar sailing ships are smaller cruise ships with fewer passengers, and all passengers have a sea view. This is what the company says about its cruises:

"Any ship lets you see the world. Windstar brings it close enough so you can fully live it. See, hear, smell, taste and feel what its like to sail on a lovely ship into a small port, explore a hidden beach, see Moroccan goats standing in trees, taste a spicy Norwegian Bacalao stew, and altogether lose yourself in a strange and wondrous culture. Our elegant, 148 - 310-guest ships open up captivating new worlds and leave indelible, lifetime memories.

Windstars small ships and personalized approach bring you closer to each destination and every port, so you can see the world from new perspectives. Share intimate moments away from the crowds, and immerse yourself in local, exotic cultures, all on a ship where surprise and delight are constant companions.

And of course, part of the Windstar magic is our incredible personal service. Enjoy undivided attention from a crew who delights in remembering your name and preferences. Both gracious hosts and ambassadors, they delight in surprising you in discrete ways - satisfying your sweet tooth with an extra chocolate on your pillow or sharing the location of a favourite seaside cafe.

This is 180 degrees from ordinary, where all your senses are indulged and your sense of wonder is awakened."

I will be writing a blog about our trip and Jean has given you the link. The site is public, so no password is required. All you have to do is give your e-mail address and click on FOLLOW and you will receive an e-mail when I add anything to the blog.

I hope you will enjoy sharing our Golden Wedding trip with us!

ED. NOTE: Here again is the address for Kates blog: http://tinyurl.com/ybwbmr3d

Kate and Michael left Guelph on Tuesday afternoon, and Kate sends this update:

GUELPH TO BARBADOS VIA TRINIDAD

The Air Canada flight from Toronto to Port of Spain, Trinidad, was trouble free and took five hours. But the process of getting on the plane and off in Trinidad was disgusting! At Toronto, we were made to stand in a long lines just to check in (on-line check-in and the machines at the airport were all down.) So everybody going anywhere from Toronto had to line up in the most horrendous long zigzag maze, pushing luggage. We were in that lineup with nowhere to sit for 1.5 hours.

When we finally checked in luggage for the hold, we had an equally long lineup at security to get into the departure lounge. Once through, it was a long walk through duty free shops and places to eat to our departure gate. By the time we got there, the plane was boarding and another milling crowd with no civilized seating area to await the call for boarding!

We arrived at the airport at 1:15 and boarded the plane at 5:15, and in all that time I had no opportunity to sit down, and was carrying a backpack for my carry-on luggage.

Imagine the horror when we had a similar experience at Port of Spain, Trinidad, to get out of the airport. The problem seems to be too many planes leaving and arriving in a short period of time, with too few people employed to process the passengers coming and going.

This is why we like travelling by boat!

I am writing this from our beautiful AirBnB rental in Barbados.

Botanical Gardens, Port of Spain, Trinidad

We had a lovely day in Trinidad visiting the Botanical Garden and zoo and getting used to the tropical climate. The hour-long flight was trouble free with no queues anywhere!

Burke Dykes reminisces about his early experience with

ASPARAGUS

In the mood for asparagus for the evening´s dinner, I dropped by the local supermarket. Ouch! The sign taunted a sale price of $5.99 a pound, and that was a bit more than I wanted to pay. Eastern Washington will be a local source for asparagus in another month or so. I can wait.

I was raised on a small farm in the eastern part of the state, in the waning years of the depression, and before the war. I had two younger siblings, twins, and if you were to ask, I would assure you that they were the bane of my existence. They would gang up on me, each verifying the other´s story, and I was usually the goat who got blamed for anything that might have gone awry. When the twins began walking, father decided to move out of the little town of 2200 people and onto a small farm because the traffic in town was "too dangerous for children." Further, we would be able to grow a lot of our food, and as it turned out, we bartered our excess production to get the things we didn´t grow - like a side of beef every year.

Each year I would trek up into the rolling hills behind our farm to find the Basque sheepherders who brought their flocks through the area for their spring grazing. I was always able to take home a baby lamb, usually either orphaned or disowned by its mother. I had a small fenced-in area where the lamb would live through the summer. Come fall, my father would take my fattened little lamb to be a "lead lamb" that would help lead the other sheep into the railroad cars. At least that was the story I got! I never saw my little lamb again.

The local irrigation "ditch" ran across a low rise at the end of our property. The ditch was simple, mud- banked, about four feet wide and possibly two feet deep. The ditch not only brought valuable water to irrigate the farms of the valley, but it tended to be a catchall for anything that people wanted to get rid of.

At some time in the past, some farmer must have decided to grow something that would bring in more money than his asparagus crop, so the asparagus roots were dug out and thrown in the ditch. Those roots floated along the ditch, embedding themselves in the banks. Early each spring, the banks blossomed with spears of asparagus. If Mom wanted asparagus for dinner she would order, "You kids get up on the ditch bank and cut some asparagus."

That was not my only experience with asparagus. Each spring I would be up before dawn to "cut" asparagus on a neighbor´s farm. The routine required starting the cutting as the sky began to lighten with the coming day. What a wonderful job that was! I would finish cutting just in time to catch the school bus into town and my school. Thanks to that, and other little farm jobs, I always seemed to have pocket money, which set me somewhat above my peers still living in town.

Irene Harvalias forwards these

THOUGHTS TO PONDER

I just took a leaflet out of my mailbox, informing me that I can have sex at 73. I´m so happy, because I live at number 71, so it´s not too far to walk home afterwards. And it´s the same side of the street. I don´t even have to cross the road!

Answering machine message: "I am not available right now, but thank you for caring enough to call. I am making some changes in my life. Please leave a message after the beep. If I do not return your call, you are one of the changes."

My wife and I had words, but I didn´t get to use mine.

Frustration is trying to find your glasses without your glasses.

Blessed are those who can give without remembering and take without forgetting.

The irony of life is that by the time you´re old enough to know your way around, you´re not going anywhere.

God made man before woman to give him time to think of an answer for her first question.

I was always taught to respect my elders, but it keeps getting harder to find one.

Every morning is the dawn of a new error.

The quote of the month is by Jay Leno: "With hurricanes, tornados, fires out of control, mud slides, flooding, severe thunderstorms tearing up the country from one end to another, and with the threat of bird flu and terrorist attacks, are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?"

Aspire to inspire before you expire.

Rafiki sends these e-mails about

A MILLENIAL MARRIAGE

Dearest Dad, I´m coming home to get married soon, so get your cheque book out. I´m in love with a man who is far away from me. As you know, I´m in Australia and he lives in Scotland. We met on a dating website, became friends on Facebook, and had long chats on WhatsApp. He proposed to me on Skype, and now we´ve had two months of a relationship through Viber.

My beloved Dad, I´d like your blessing, good wishes, and a really big wedding.

Lots of love and thanks.

Your daughter, Lilly

THE RESPONSE:

My Dear Lilly,

Like wow! Cool!

I suggest that you two get married on Twitter, have fun on Tango, buy your kids on Amazon, and pay for it all through PayPal. And when you get fed up with your new husband, sell him on eBay.

Love,

Your Dad

Catherine Nesbitt sends these

DEFINITIONS OF "OLD"

I quietly confided to my best friend that I was having an affair. She turned to me and asked, "Are you having it catered?"

Before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked, "How old was your husband?"

"Ninety-eight," she replied. "Two years older than me."

"So you´re 96," the undertaker commented.

She responded, "Hardly worth going home, is it?"

Reporters interviewing a 104-year-old woman: "And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?"

She simply replied, "No peer pressure."

I"ve sure gotten old! I have outlived my feet and my teeth; I´ve had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, new knees, fought prostate cancer and diabetes, and I´m half blind. I can´t hear anything quieter than a jet engine; take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts. Have bouts with dementia. Have poor circulation; hardly feel my hands and feet anymore. Can´t remember if I´m 85 or 92. I´ve lost all my friends, but thank God, I still have my driver´s license.

SUGGESTED SITES

Barbara Wear sends the URL for a video of expandable furniture with multi-functional ability which will make the best use of small living spaces:

Tom Telfer forwards this link to a video of 15-year-old Alina Zagitova winning the Grand Prix in Figure Skating in 2017 in Japan:

Tom also sends the URL for a video of Chris Hannibal performing the second oldest trick in sleight of hand:

This golden retriever has four prosthetic paws, but she is a therapy dog that proves obstacles can be overcome:

In this TED talk, James Kunstler says the cheap energy party will end and we will need to grow food, live and work locally, manufacture locally, create strong communities, and nurture living and breathing civic environments for citizens, not consumers: