Home  >> Stories  >> The Tale Spinner #2018-15

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IN THIS ISSUE

• Mrs. Duvall gave this student the gift of confidence
• Catherine Nesbitt sends the story of a suspect being arrested
• Rafiki shares a recipe that is easy to make and fun to eat
• Marilyn Magic forwards examples of church bulletins
• Kate Brookfield believes in the power of punctuation
• Irene Harvalias wonders about a lot of things
• Sites are suggested by Carol Hansen and Tom Telfer

Heroic Stories carries this account from Michael Hart, Amherst, Mass.:

MRS. DUVALL

If there was one thing that would inspire fear in the heart of a fourth grader at Damascus Elementary in the mid-1980s, it was the name Mrs. Duvall. She was my math teacher, a large, intimidating woman who walked with a heavy step and always had a severe look on her face. Her voice was rough and deep, and when she raised it, the only thing that shook more than the walls were the children in their seats. Before math period, you could hear her voice booming from across the hall, and I remember feeling sorry for her main class, who had to suffer her close scrutiny for much more of the day than I did.

I was good at math until we started fiddling with long division, but struggle and hard work brought success at even that. Yet even as hard as it was, I didn´t know the meaning of difficult until I tackled money and time. I could count change and tell time, but when it came to adding or subtracting either one, I was at a loss. It came so easily for my peers, but it would be a stumbling block for me that would take months to overcome.

We had tests we had to take on a computer in the room, and we had to keep taking the tests until we passed them. Week after week I approached Mrs. Duvall´s desk with fear after yet another failed attempt, and week after week I had to listen to her frustration: "You know this, Michael! You know how to do it!" I considered asking Mrs. Duvall if I could just take a failing mark for that section, because I wanted to give up more than anything. But I also wanted to prove myself, so I decided to keep working at it.

Eventually the day came that I passed that frustrating test. I approached Mrs. Duvall´s desk again, with a head hung low as if I had failed once more. A look of disappointment came to her face, and then I looked up with a big smile and exclaimed, "I passed!" Much to my surprise, Mrs. Duvall jumped up from her desk, gave me a big hug and a slopping wet kiss on the cheek, and looked me in the eyes with a proud look on her face. "Michael, I always knew you could do it!"

I don´t know if she realized it, but she gave me that day the most precious gift I have ever received. She believed in me, and because someone like her could believe in me, I learned to believe in myself. Whenever I feel like giving up, I remember Mrs. Duvall´s faith in me, take a deep breath, and give it all I´ve got. Years later, the same kid who struggled with even the most basic mathematical concepts went to college on a full academic scholarship and graduated near the top of his class. All because Mrs. Duvall didn´t give up on him.

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Catherine Nesbitt forwards this story of

OFFICIAL VIGILANCE

A public school teacher was arrested today at John F. Kennedy International airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a compass, a slide-rule, and a calculator.

At a morning press conference, Attorney General Jeff Sessions said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-Gebra movement.

He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.

"Al-Gebra is a problem for us," the Attorney General said. "They derive solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in search of absolute values. They use secret code names like ´X´ and ´Y´ and refer to themselves as ´unknowns´ but we have determined that they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country.

"As the Greek philosopher Isosceles used to say, ´There are three sides to every triangle.´"

When asked to comment on the arrest, President Trump said, "If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, he would have given us more fingers and toes."

White House aides told reporters they could not recall a more intelligent or profound statement by the President.

Rafiki sends a fun recipe to try:

BROOKIES!!!

Ingredients:

Brownie Mix and ingredients listed to make
Packaged Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough

How to Make:

1 scoop of brownie batter + 1 scoop of cookie dough in a muffin pan = 1 brookie!

Make brownie and cookie mixes according to box directions. Bake as directed on boxes BUT start checking about half way through the directed time so your brownies stay moist. (Remember they are a smaller cook area when made as a muffin size and it will vary a little for each oven.)

Suggestion: Bake on 350 degrees F for 20 minutes, but start checking around 12-15 minutes....Yum!

Marilyn Magid says we owe a debt to

CHURCH LADIES WITH TYPEWRITERS

These sentences actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced at church:

The Fasting and Prayer Conference includes meals.

Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water." The sermon tonight: "Searching for Jesus."

Ladies, don´t forget the rummage sale. It´s a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.

Don´t let worry kill you off - let the Church help.

Miss Charlene Mason sang "I will not pass this way again," giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.

For those of you who have children and don´t know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

Next Thursday there will be try-outs for the choir. They need all the help they can get.

Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.

A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.

At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What Is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.

Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.

Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.

The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment, and gracious hostility.

Pot-luck supper Sunday at 5:00 p.m. - prayer and medication to follow.

The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.

This evening at 7:00 p.m. there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.

The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.

Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7:00 p.m. Please use the back door.

The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare´s "Hamlet" in the Church basement Friday at 7:00 p.m. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.

Weight Watchers will meet at 7:00 p.m. at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.

And this one just about sums them all up:The Associate Minister unveiled the church´s new campaign slogan last Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours."

Kate Brookfield forwards an example of

THE POWER OF PUNCTUATION

An English professor wrote the words, "A woman without her man is nothing" on the chalkboard and asked his students to punctuate it correctly.

All of the males in the class wrote: "A woman, without her man, is nothing."

All the females in the class wrote: "A woman: without her, man is nothing."

Irene Harvalias asks

DO YOU EVER WONDER

Why do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front?

Why do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke?

Why do banks leave vault doors open and then chain the pens to the counters?

Why do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in our driveways and put our useless junk in the garage?

Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?

Why can´t women put on mascara with their mouths closed?

Why don´t you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?

Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?

Why is it that doctors and attorneys call what they do "practice"?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavouring and dish washing liquid made with real lemons?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Why isn´t there mouse-flavored cat food?

Why didn´t Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don´t they make the whole plane out of that stuff??

Why don´t sheep shrink when it rains?

Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

Now that you´ve smiled at least once, it´s your turn to spread the stupidity and send this to someone you want to bring a smile to (maybe even a chuckle). In other words, send it to everyone. We all need to smile every once in a while.

SUGGESTED SITES

Carol Hansen sends this link to a short video which shows why you shouldn´t ever walk and text at the same time:

Tom Telfer forwards this compilation of photos from dash cams in Russia which will renew your faith in human kindness:

Tom also sends this conversation between a U.S. Navy ship and the Spanish Coast Guard:

In this TED talk, chef Jose Andres travels to devastated Puerto Rica with the simple idea of feeding the hungry. Millions of meals served later, he shares the story of creating the world´s biggest restaurant: