Home  >> Stories  >> The Tale Spinner #2018-18

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IN THIS ISSUE

• Brianne Schwantes remembers cookies and kindness
• Kate Brookfield continues her account of their spring vacation
• Shirley Conlon sends the seniors´ calendar for May
• Barbara Wear forwards reasons why men choose dogs over wives
• Irene Harvalias´ post is hard to believe
• Marilyn Magid´s story is about celibacy
• Catherine Nesbitt sends some actual signs
• Sites are suggested by Irene Harvalias and Tom Telfer

Brianne Schwantes of Wisconsin sent this memory to Heroic Stories:

COOKIES AND COMFORT

In May, 2001, I underwent surgery to correct a discrepancy in the length of my legs - my left leg was an inch shorter than my right. During surgery, doctors put one leg in a medieval-looking device: a? frame with three metal rings and 16 pins that went straight through the bone. I had to wear the brace until both legs were the same length, which was supposed to be about three months.

Not only was the brace heavy and awkward, it was gruesome to look at and more painful than anything I´d ever been through. I gave up the summer between my junior and senior years at college to let myself heal. It was boring and lonely, but I kept telling myself that it would all be worth the trouble soon enough.

At the end of July, my parents and I anxiously returned to the doctor to see if my leg was ready to have the brace taken off. We returned to our house crying - with nine pounds of metal still on my leg.

In August, it was time to go back to school. We packed my things and my mother drove the 18 hours from our home in Wisconsin to American University in Washington, D.C. The trip was miserable; I was in tears from pain the entire time. But I was determined to go back to school and give it a try.

The first two weeks at school were exhausting. My pain relievers made me so drowsy that I could barely stay awake during the day, let alone go out with my friends in the evening. The brace made my school life difficult and nearly ruined my social life.

One Friday evening when I was feeling particularly lonely and sorry for myself, I heard a knock on my door. There was my sorority "little sister," Rachel, and her entire Delta Gamma pledge class. Rachel had a bottle of Coca-Cola and some chocolate bars; another girl had cookies and milk; someone else had flowers; and someone else had a bunch of helium balloons.

As each girl came into my room, she handed me a handwritten note or a get-well card and gave me a hug. Almost every girl stopped and whispered in my ear that they were proud of my determination and strength. I could only stay awake for about half an hour until my medicine kicked in, but in that short time, they reminded me how lucky I was to have such incredible friends.

What those girls did for me was as simple as sharing a glass of lemonade and a few cookies, but they gave me the happiness and encouragement I needed most. I will always be thankful to them for? helping me through one of the darkest periods of my life.

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Kate Brookfield continues her story of their spring vacation:

OPORTO TO Viana

After picking up a rental car, we drove to the Paradores hotel in Viana. The Paradores hotels in Portugal and Spain are a chain of elegant hotels located near castles or large churches or cathedrals.

Viana is a fairly large city on the estuary of the Lima River.

We had booked in the Viana Paradores for our anniversary on April 20th. The views of the hotel from the city and in reverse from the hotel to the street level are equally magnificent. After checking in, we drove to the harbour and found a restaurant that served crepes, strawberries and ice cream and whipped cream. That night we enjoyed our second anniversary meal on the actual date of our wedding, fifty years ago!

The following day we toured the area, visiting an attractive town called Ponta de Lima. The city is noted for its ancient Roman bridge with medieval extension. There was a beautiful botanic garden with Roman and French style gardens.

San Lucia, Viana

It was a hot sunny day and we returned to the hotel to swim in the large outdoor pool. The staff member at reception told us the pool was not officially opened for the season, that it was not cleaned or warm. However, she gave us towels and warned us that it was our risk.

It was cold at first, but after a short time, we got used to and enjoyed swimming looking down on the Atlantic. Soon we were joined by a couple from Finland. The next day we left Viana to drive to the pilgrim city of Santiago Compostela.

This town has for centuries been a place of pilgrimage because the cathedral was built to honour the sacred remains of James, the Apostle. Many people still do the long pilgrim walk, either from France across the Pyrenees to Spain, or from the south of Spain. But today, the town has become an international tourist attraction, with people like us mingling with the pilgrims. We met two pilgrims from New Brunswick who took 20 days to walk 600 kms. This feat qualifies them to wear a scallop shell around the neck.

We stayed in the monastery´s 17th century hostel.

To be continued.

Shirley Conlon forwards the seniors´ illustration of May in their calendar:

Mary Poppins, as portrayed by Erna Schenk, 78

Barbara Wear sends some reasons why

SOME MEN HAVE DOGS AND NOT WIVES

1. The later you are, the more excited your dogs are to see you. 2. Dogs don´t notice if you call them by another dog´s name.

3. Dogs like it if you leave a lot of things on the floor.

4.. A dog´s parents never visit.

5. Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.

6. You never have to wait for a dog; they´re ready to go 24 hours a day.

7. Dogs find you amusing when you´re drunk.

8. Dogs like to go hunting and fishing.

9. A dog will not wake you up at night to ask, "If I died, would you get another dog?"

10. If a dog has babies, you can put an ad in the paper and give them away.

11. A dog will let you put a studded collar on it without calling you a pervert.

12. If a dog smells another dog on you, they don´t get mad. They just think it´s interesting.

13. Dogs like to ride in the back of a pickup truck.

And last, but not least:

14. If a dog leaves, it won´t take half of your stuff.

To test this theory: Lock your wife and your dog in the garage for an hour. Then open it and see who´s happy to see you!

Irene Harvalias forwards this

BELIEVE IT OR NOT

Don´t delete this just because it looks weird. Believe it or not, you can read it:

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn´t mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the first and last ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can still raed it wouthit a porbelm. This is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh?

Marilyn Magid sends this story about

CELIBACY

What is Celibacy? Celibacy can be a choice in life, or a condition imposed by circumstances.

While attending a Marriage Weekend, Frank and his wife Ann listened to the instructor declare, "It is essential that husbands and wives know the things that are important to each other."

He then addressed the men. "Can you name and describe your wife´s favorite flower?"

Frank leaned over, touched Ann´s arm gently, and whispered, "Gold Medal-All-Purpose, isn´t it?"

And thus began Frank´s life of celibacy.

Catherine Nesbitt shares these

ACTUAL SIGNS

Here is a sign posted at a golf club in Scotland:

1. BACK STRAIGHT, KNEES BENT.
2. FEET SHOULDER WIDTH APART.
3. FORM A LOOSE GRIP.
4. KEEP YOUR HEAD DOWN!
5. STAY OUT OF THE WATER.
6. TRY NOT TO HIT ANYONE.
7. IF YOU ARE TAKING TOO LONG, LET OTHERS GO AHEAD OF YOU.
8. DON'T STAND DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF OTHERS.
9. QUIET PLEASE WHILE OTHERS ARE PREPARING.
10. DON'T TAKE EXTRA STROKES.
WELL DONE. NOW, FLUSH THE URINAL, GO OUTSIDE, AND TEE OFF.

Did I read that sign right? Keep going - there is more! Some of these have been around the bend a time or two.

In an office: TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW

In a laundromat: AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT

In a London department store: BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS

In an office: WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN

In an office: AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD

Outside a second-hand shop: WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?

Notice in health food shop window: CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS

Spotted in a safari park: ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR

Notice in a farmer´s field: THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES.

On a repair shop door: WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL DOESN´T WORK.)

Now that you´ve smiled at least once, it´s your turn to spread the stupidity and send this to someone you want to bring a smile to (maybe even a chuckle.)

SUGGESTED SITES

Irene Harvalias sends this link to a video showing the rapidly-increasing number of sinkholes around the world, ending with an explanation for the increase:

Tom Telfer forwards the URL for a video of a group of fantasy illusionists who wowed the judges of Britain´s Got Talent:

Tom also sends this link to a video of planes breaking the sound barrier and bending light waves:

Boyan Slat, a young Dutch scientist, talks about solving the problem of 80,000 metric tons of plastic garbage floating in the Great Pacific Garbage Patch:

In this TED talk, Andrew Dent claims that to eliminate waste, we need to rediscover thrift:

In this letter from Pierre Trudeau 48 years ago, he laid out the necessity for protecting nature as "an act of sanity," and the act of causing lasting destruction for short-term gain a crime:

In this Good News story, a clever dog has learned how to "buy" treats at a store:

To sign a petition to the Canadian government to legalize equal pay for Canadians, click on