Home  >> Stories  >> The Tale Spinner #2018-26

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IN THIS ISSUE

• In this Heroic Story, a high school student copes with grief
• Irene Harvalias sends a list that tells you it´s 2018
• Catherine Nesbitt forwards a number of short stories
• Betty Audet and Tom Telfer send this nostalgic poem
• There is only one site recommended this week

In this Heroic Story, a high school student pays homage to

TWO GUIDANCE COUNSELLORS

Yesterday was a very hard day. Today was worse. Why? A freshman at my high school committed suicide. I knew him - in fact, I talked to him yesterday morning. When I heard the first round of rumours last night, I thought, there´s no way this is true. Someone is spreading a seriously messed-up rumor. But I knew it was true when I walked into the school building and saw so many red eyes staring back at me.

I met one of my best friends at the same place we meet every morning. We went and stood at the end of the hall where our friend had had his first class of the day, and I looked at her. "This is going to be the hardest ten steps of my life," I said to her. "I´m here," she said, and we walked past the door that he would never walk through again.

That´s when I started bawling. I cried all morning, as did so many other kids around school. I ended up going to the guidance office instead of first period.

The counsellor escorted another friend and me to an empty classroom where there were two women I´d never seen before and a few other girls. Those two women were counselors from other local schools, who stayed with us and talked to us all period. They helped us try to make sense of our grief and gave us what little information they had.

The six other girls in the room and I laid out our grief and anger in front of those two angels and they acknowledged it, even though to some people we are just lowly children and don´t need answers.

An hour and a half, a handful of tissues, and a lot of hugs later, I walked out of that room with the strength to support my friends and carry on. I hugged, laughed, cried, and most importantly, I dealt.

They were there all day - doing for others what they did for me. Sometimes I wonder how guidance counsellors can do their job and not go crazy.

The grief in that room was so real you could have reached out and molded it with your hands - which is exactly what those two women did. We handed them our grief and they sculpted it into understanding. We handed them our tears and they made a reflecting pool. I can truly tell you I´m? okay; I´m not crying while I write this.

To think, they didn´t even have to do this - they comforted us out of the kindness of their hearts.

They weren´t afraid to tell us they didn´t know the answers to all our questions, and helped us come to terms with the fact that no one might ever know the specifics. Those two ordinary women shone light on a dark alley that most adults would step around and try to explain away. Thank heavens for guidance counsellors.

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Irene Harvalias forwards these signs :

YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2018 WHEN

1. You accidentally enter your PIN on the microwave.

2. You haven´t played solitaire with real cards in years.

3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three.

4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.

5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don´t have e-mail addresses.

6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries.

7. Every commercial on television has a website at the bottom of the screen.

8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn´t even have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic, and you turn around to go and get it.

10. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your coffee.

11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. : )

12. You´re reading this and nodding and laughing.

13. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this message.

14. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list.

15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn´t a #9 on this list.

NOW U R LAUGHING at yourself.

Catherine Nesbitt forwards these

SHORT STORIES FOR EVERYONE

Completely ignoring the sign, the woman ahead of me had slipped into the check-out line pushing a cart piled high with groceries. Imagine my delight when the cashier beckoned the woman to come forward, looked into the cart and asked sweetly, "So which six items would you like to buy?"

The reason politicians try so hard to get re-elected is that they would hate to have to make a living under the laws they have just passed.

Because they had no reservations at a busy restaurant, my elderly neighbour and his wife were told there would be a 45-minute wait for a table.

"Young man, we´re both 90 years old," the husband said. "We may not have 45 minutes."

They were seated immediately.

All eyes were on the radiant bride as her father escorted her down the aisle. They reached the altar and the waiting groom. The bride kissed her father and placed something in his hand. The guests in the front pews responded with ripples of laughter. Even the priest smiled broadly. As her father gave her away in marriage, the bride gave him back his credit card.

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.

Three friends from the local congregation were asked, "When you´re in your casket, and friends and congregation members are mourning over you, what would you like them to say?"

Artie said, "I would like them to say I was a wonderful husband, a fine spiritual leader, and a great family man."

Eugene commented, "I would like them to say I was a wonderful teacher and servant of God who made a huge difference in people´s lives."

Al said, "I´d like them to say, ´Look, he´s moving!´"

Smith climbs to the top of Mt. Sinai to get close enough to talk to God.

Looking up, he asks the Lord. "God, what does a million years mean to you?"

The Lord replies, "A minute."

Smith asks, "And what does a million dollars mean to you?"

The Lord replies, "A penny."

Smith asks, "Can I have a penny?"

The Lord replies, "In a minute."

John was on his deathbed and gasped pitifully, "Give me one last request, dear," he said.

"Of course, John," his wife said softly.

"Six months after I die," John said, "I want you to marry Bob."

"But I thought you hated Bob," she said.

With his last breath John said, "I do!"

A man goes to see the Rabbi. "Rabbi, something terrible is happening and I have to talk to you about it."

The Rabbi asked, "What´s wrong?"

The man replied, "My wife is going to poison me."

The Rabbi, very surprised by this, asks, "How can that be?"

The man then pleads, "I´m telling you, I´m certain she´s going to poison me. What should I do?"

The Rabbi then offers, "Tell you what. Let me talk to her. I´ll see what I can find out and I´ll let you know."

A week later the Rabbi calls the man.

He says, "I spoke to your wife on the phone for three hours. You want my advice?"

The man said, "Yes," and the Rabbi replied, "Take the poison."

A man goes to a shrink and says, "Doctor, my wife is unfaithful to me. Every evening, she goes to Larry ´s bar and picks up men. In fact, she sleeps with anybody who asks her! I´m going crazy. What do you think I should do?"

"Relax," says the doctor, "Take a deep breath and calm down. Now, tell me, exactly where is Larry´s ´s bar?"

I was always taught to respect my elders, but it keeps getting harder to find one.

Betty Audet and Tom Telfer send this nostalgic poem:

THAT WAS US

A little house with three bedrooms,
One bathroom, and one car on the street.
A mower that you had to push
To make the grass look neat.

In the kitchen on the wall
We only had one phone,
And no need for recording things -
Someone was always home.

We only had a living room
Where we would congregate,
Unless it was at mealtime
In the kitchen where we ate.

We had no need for family rooms
Or extra rooms to dine.
When meeting as a family
Those two rooms would work out fine.

We only had one TV set
And channels maybe two,
But always there was one of them
With something worth the view.

For snacks we had potato chips
That tasted like a chip.
And if you wanted flavour,
There was Lipton's onion dip.

Store-bought snacks were rare because
My mother liked to cook,
And nothing can compare to snacks
In Betty Crocker's book.

Weekends were for family trips
Or staying home to play.
We all did things together -
Even go to church to pray.

When we did our weekend trips,
Depending on the weather,
No one stayed at home because
We liked to be together.

Sometimes we would separate
To do things on our own,
But we knew where the others were
Without our own cell phone.

Then there were the movies
With your favourite movie star,
And nothing can compare
To watching movies in your car.

Then there were the picnics
at the peak of summer season,
Pack a lunch and find some trees,
And never need a reason.

Get a baseball game together
With all the friends you know,
Have real action playing ball -
And no game video.

Remember when the doctor
Used to be the family friend,
And didn't need insurance,
Or a lawyer to defend

The way that he took care of you,
Or what he had to do,
Because he took an oath and strived
To do the best for you.

Remember going to the store
And shopping casually,
And when you went to pay for it
You used your own money?

Nothing that you had to swipe,
Or punch in some amount,
And remember when the cashier person
Had to really count?

The milkman used to go
From door to door,
And it was just a few cents more
Than going to the store.

There was a time when mailed letters
Came right to your door,
Without a lot of junk mail ads
Sent out by every store.

The mailman knew each house by name
And knew where it was sent;
There were not loads of mail addressed
To "present occupant."

There was a time when just one glance
Was all that it would take,
And you would know the kind of car,
The model and the make.

They didn't look like turtles
Trying to squeeze out every mile;
They were streamlined, white walls, fins,
And really had some style.

One time the music that you played
Whenever you would jive,
Was from a vinyl, big-holed record
Called a forty-five.

The record player had a post
To keep them all in line,
And then the records would drop down
And play one at a time.

Oh sure, we had our problems then,
Just like we do today,
And always we were striving,
Trying for a better way.

Oh, the simple life we lived
Still seems like so much fun,
How can you explain a game,
Just kick the can and run?

And why would boys put baseball cards
Between bicycle spokes,
And for a nickel, red machines
Had little bottled Cokes?

This life seemed so much easier,
Slower in some ways.
I love the new technology,
But I sure do miss those days.

So time moves on and so do we,
And nothing stays the same,
But I sure love to reminisce
And walk down memory lane.

With all today's technology
We grant that it's a plus,
But it's fun to look way back and say,
HEY LOOK, GUYS, THAT WAS US!

ED. NOTE: There will be only one site recommended in this issue because I am having problems with my TinyURL program. I hope to have it straightened out by next week.

This site is one of a series about what happens when ads are not honest. This is from a site called Cracked, and this video is "If Soda Commercials Were Honest:"