Home  >> Stories  >> The Tale Spinner #2018-37

---

IN THIS ISSUE

• Rich Fahringer remembers his generous mother in this Heroic Story:
• Catherine Nesbitt forwards a story of a murder at Costco
• Zvonko Springer shares the origins of many well-known expressions
• Here is one of my favourite poems about my favourite season, autumn
• Sites are suggested by Catherine Nesbitt, Kate Brookfield, and Tom Telfer

Rich Fahringer of Folsom, California, writes about

STICKY BUNS

On November 5th, 1951, a small, shivering child walked up the knoll from the bus stop to the little elementary school in a rural town in northeastern Pennsylvania on a cold, blustery day, shaking in discomfort. He had no gloves, nor boots, to shield him from the wet and chilling effects of the elements - sub-zero temperatures and an icy mist blowing at 20+ MPH. It was far too cold for anyone to be "out in the cold," let alone a small second grader. The new school secretary noticed the situation, and, when the boy passed by the school administration office, she asked, "Why aren´t you wearing boots or gloves?"

"I don´t have any," the small child shyly replied. The next day, another cold day with an icy wind making the short walk from the bus stop to the school an even more uncomfortable trek for anyone, the school secretary stopped the young child and said, "Here, try these on."

And, so it went, for twenty-plus years. There was never, ever, a child wh9 entered that small school on a cold day without gloves or boots or a warm hat or a warm winter coat that didn´t receive the necessary clothing to combat the elements. Over the years, the cost was considerable, possibly even exceeding her salary as a part- time school secretary. Yet she did it so kindly, so gently, that no child was ever embarrassed about receiving the small gifts.

Obviously, a woman with a heart that big didn´t stop at warm clothes for cold children. Every new resident in town was always greeted with a batch of cinnamon buns ("sticky buns," in the local parlance). Sick and elderly people in the small town often received a casserole or other dinner to enjoy.

The vast majority of mankind has a big, warm heart. But sometimes it is just too easy to just have a payroll deduction or weekly tithe going toward "something good." This kind and energetic woman´s involvement was timely, had no overhead, and provided assistance where it was needed the most directly and immediately. And everything was done with a "personal touch."

We did, of course, have some idea of what my mother had done over the years. But at her funeral a little over year ago we were overcome by the large number of people who showed up to pay their respects, and tell us of one more thing that "Agnes" had done. We were overwhelmed.

Not surprisingly, the crowd for the funeral exceeded the capacity of the funeral parlour. It´s also not surprising that when she was in the hospital and beginning to fail, she ordered my dad to buy "sticky buns" and deliver them to people, and let them know that they were welcome. And she asked him "Did you notice any little kids that need a warm pair of gloves?"

E-mail subscriptions to HeroicStories are free. Sign up here: HeroicStories.org.

Catherine Nesbitt forwards this great bargain in the produce section:

MURDER AT COSTCO

Tired of constantly being broke and stuck in an unhappy marriage, a young husband decided to solve both problems by taking out a large insurance policy on his wife with himself as the beneficiary and then arranging to have her killed.

A "friend of a friend" put him in touch with a nefarious dark-side underworld figure who went by the name of "Artie." Artie explained to the husband that his going price for snuffing out a spouse was $10,000.

The husband said he was willing to pay that amount but that he wouldn´t have any cash on hand until he could collect his wife´s insurance money. Artie insisted on being paid at least something up front, so the man opened his wallet, displaying the single dollar coin that rested inside.

Artie sighed, rolled his eyes and reluctantly agreed to accept the dollar as down payment for the dirty deed.

A few days later, Artie followed the man´s wife to the local Costco Supermarket. There, he surprised her in the produce department and proceeded to strangle her with his gloved hands. As the poor unsuspecting woman drew her last breath and slumped to the floor, the manager of the produce department stumbled unexpectedly onto the murder scene. Unwilling to leave any living witnesses behind, ol´ Artie had no choice but to strangle the produce manager as well.

However, unknown to Artie, the entire proceedings were captured by the hidden security cameras and observed by the shop´s security guard, who immediately called the police. Artie was caught and arrested before he could even leave the premises.

Under intense questioning at the police station, Artie revealed the whole sordid plan, including his unusual financial arrangements with the hapless husband, who was also quickly arrested.

The next day in the newspaper, the headline declared...

(You´re going to hate me for this...)

"ARTIE CHOKES 2 for $1.00 @ Costco"

Oh, quit groaning! I don´t write this stuff. I receive it from my warped friends and then send it on to you.

Zvonko Springer forwards these

ORIGINS OF EXPRESSIONS

Early aircraft throttles had a ball on the end of it. In order to go full throttle the pilot had to push the throttle all the way forward into the wall of the instrument panel - "balls to the wall" for going very fast. And now you know the rest of the story.

During WWII, U.S. airplanes were armed with belts of bullets which they would shoot during dogfights and on strafing runs. These belts were folded into the wing compartments that fed their machine guns. These belts measure 27 feet and contained hundreds of rounds of bullets. Oftentimes, the pilots would return from their missions having expended all of their bullets on various targets. They would say, "I gave them the whole nine yards," meaning they used up all of their ammunition.

Did you know the saying "God willing and the creek don´t rise" was in reference to the Creek Indians and not a body of water? It was written by Benjamin Hawkins in the late 18th century. He was a politician and Indian diplomat. While in the south, Hawkins was requested by the president of the U.S. to return to Washington. In his response, he was said to have written, "God willing and the Creek don´t rise." Because he capitalized the word "Cree,k" he was referring to the Creek Indian tribe and not a body of water.

In George Washington´s days, there were no cameras. One´s image was either sculpted or painted. Some paintings of George Washington showed him standing behind a desk with one arm behind his back, while others showed both legs and both arms. Prices charged by painters were not based on how many people were to be painted, but by how many limbs were to be painted. Arms and legs are "limbs," therefore painting them would cost the buyer more. Hence the expression, "Okay, but it´ll cost you an arm and a leg." (Artists know hands and arms are more difficult to paint.)

As incredible as it sounds, in the Middle Ages men and women took baths only twice a year (May and October). Women kept their hair covered, while men shaved their heads (because of lice and bugs) and wore wigs. Wealthy men could afford good wigs made from wool. They couldn´t wash the wigs, so to clean them they would carve out a loaf of bread, put the wig in the shell, and bake it for 30 minutes. The heat would make the wig big and fluffy, hence the term "big wig." Today we often use the term "big wig" to mean someone who appears to be or is powerful and wealthy.

In the late 1700s, many houses consisted of a large room with only one chair. Commonly, a long wide board folded down from the wall, and was used for dining. The head of the household always sat in the chair, while everyone else ate sitting on the floor. Occasionally a guest, who was usually a man, would be invited to sit in this chair during a meal. To sit in the chair meant you were important and in charge. They called the one sitting in the chair the "chair man." Today in business, we use the expression or title Chairman or Chairman of the Board.

Personal hygiene left much room for improvement. As a result, many women and men had developed acne scars by adulthood. The women would spread bees´ wax over their facial skin to smooth out their complexions. When they were speaking to each other, if a woman began to stare at another woman´s face, she was told, "Mind your own bees´ wax." Should a woman smile, the wax would crack, hence the term "crack a smile." In addition, when they sat too close to the fire, the wax would melt. Therefore, the expression "losing face."

Ladies wore corsets, which were laced up in the front. A proper and dignified woman, as in "straight laced," wore a tightly-tied lace.

Common entertainment included playing cards. However, there was a tax levied on playing cards but was only applicable to the ace of spades. To avoid paying the tax, people would purchase 51 cards instead. Yet, since most games require 52 cards, these people were thought to be stupid or dumb because they weren´t "playing with a full deck."

Early politicians required feedback from the public to determine what the people considered important. Since there were no telephones, TVs or radios, the politicians sent their assistants to local taverns, pubs, and bars. They were told to "go sip" some ale and listen to people´s conversations and political concerns. Many assistants were dispatched at different times. "You go sip here" and "You go sip there." The two words "go sip" were eventually combined when referring to the local opinion, and thus we have the term "gossip."

Ed. Note: As always, take these "facts" with a pinch of salt.

To celebrate the coming of autumn, here is a poem by William Wilfred Campbell:

INDIAN SUMMER

Along the line of smoky hills
The crimson forest stands,
And all the day the blue-jay calls
Throughout the autumn lands.

Now by the brook the maple leans
With all his glory spread,
And all the sumachs on the hills
Have turned their green to red.

Now by great marshes wrapt in mist,
Or past some river's mouth,
Throughout the long, still autumn day
Wild birds are flying south.

SUGGESTED SITES

Catherine Nesbitt shares this nostalgic link about the past:

Kate Brookfield forwards a Facebook video that shows how to make paperweights with dried flowers from your garden:

Tom Telfer sends this link to a video of a new grandmother choosing a grandma name:

Two university students have developed a "spinning" wind turbine which captures wind from any direction, and can be used in cities, which traditional turbines cannot:

In this TED talk, Mike Biddle says his company can recycle any kind of plastic into useable and non-polluting products:

The Red Deer community buys a grieving family´s classic car at auction, and then gives it back:

A doctor in Bangladesh has found a simple way to treat infant pneumonia, using a shampoo bottle:

A private recycling food and green waste composting facility transforms waste into compost in Scotland:

In this funniest horse act ever, Tommie Turvey and Pokerjoe show just how well trained a horse can be:

Bob Turner watches a pod of orcas in Howe Sound early in the morning. Now that the sound has been cleaned of industrial waste, orcas are returning to the area:

Good news for cheese eaters: Cheese has been found to reduce the risk of cardiovascular disease and to provide many other health benefits: